Sherlock Holmes and the Hunt for the Crumple Horned Snorkack
by Amiyrasmom
Summary: When Harry and Luna enlist John and Sherlock to help them find the Crumple Horned Snorkack wackiness ensues. Better summary inside. Rating because I'm paranoid and could change in the future.
1. Luna

**Disclaimer: Sooo, I'm still looking for Eros. Finally made it back to Greece. Had to stowaway on a cargo ship. Not fun, let me tell you. They were transporting manure for Kalamata. Weird, yes. Didn't know Greece couldn't make its own manure. Still, it got me closer to my destination, wherever that may be and then I just hitched a ride on a puddle jumper and landed in Athens this morning. I so need a shower. Sherlock and Company are still not mine, though I have yet to give up hope. I make no money off of these stories. If I did I wouldn't have had to stowaway on a ship full of sh-.**

**A/N: This story is dedicated to my very own BAMF, Becca. Sunday was her 18****th**** Birthday and since I am poor and could not afford to get her a real present, I'm writing her a story instead. I hope she likes it and that it makes her laugh. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BECCA!**

**A/N2: This fic will most likely never be finished. Not because I've lost interest or plan to lose interest in the future but because I hope it just keeps going. Our intrepid heroes will have many crazy adventures and wacky fun. What else would you expect from a fiction containing Sherlock Holmes and Luna Lovegood? Hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think. THIS IS NOT A HONEY 'VERSE STORY! I do intend to continue with the Honey 'Verse stories and update this one when the silliness strikes me. A new Honey 'Verse story should be out soon. **

**Title: Sherlock Holmes and the Hunt for the Crumple Horned Snorkack**

**Summary: When Harry and Luna enlist John and Sherlock to help them find the Crumple Horned Snorkack wackiness ensues. They will be travelling the world and meeting many strange and interesting people and creatures. Along the way they pick up a friend named Flynn who is THE Librarian. Will be a summary at the beginning of every chapter.**

**Luna**

**Chapter Summary: Two new faces arrive at 221B that leave Sherlock confused and speechless and John amused and excited. Enjoy my little dip into a cross over that should have been canon.**

The footsteps were light and nearly too soft for him to hear. He wouldn't have ever heard them at all if he hadn't insisted that John leave open the door. He couldn't really decide if the people making them were male or female, though there was something that said female about the front set to him and male to the second set. They both seemed to either weigh too little for him to be able to accurately ascertain their age or they'd been trained far too well in the art of stalking prey and sneaking around. He suspected they were very young since only the young ever walked with such sure, quick and light steps. Those trained in the arts stepped more carefully and deliberately.

Yet…there was a trace of weariness in the footfalls of both she and her companion. Not the kind of weariness that came from a long day but that of the kind that spoke of a long battle fought and won at too much cost. So the pair could not be nearly as young as at first thought.

Sherlock closed his eyes against the disappointment that was bound to come next. The footsteps led to an interesting picture and yet he knew that as soon as he looked at them he would find them boring and mundane. He both loved and loathed playing this game with himself. A game no one, not John or Mycroft or anyone else, even suspected he played.

He used his powers of deduction to form a picture of the person or persons talking to him without seeing them and then observed them to see how close he was. It didn't help with the boredom much but it did help. He only played the game rarely as in the end it was just as boring as everything else. He was nearly always right anyway.

He would always hold out looking as long as he possibly could to stave off the boredom. This time would be no different. They were a young married couple, early twenties, from London if the sound of the grit on their shoes was anything to go by and it always was. The rustle of fabric spoke eloquently of an upper middleclass income but nothing allowing for extravagances. The only other deduction he could make until one of them spoke was that the female's hair was long and tangled. It wasn't windy and so she must not care for her appearance.

"Hello John Watson," the girl said to John after rapping rather enthusiastically on the doorframe. "How are you?"

"Good, thanks," John answered. "Come in, won't you?" He heard John step back and the two enter then there was the sound of cloth as the pair took off their coats. They were short, both of them. The girl/woman was a few inches shorter than John and the boy/man was about the same height. The boy/man said nothing which irritated Sherlock as that meant that without looking he could deduce almost nothing about him. "Would you like some tea?" There was something in John's voice that interested Sherlock. Familiarity. Did John know them? Intriguing if he did. John hadn't told him that he knew their newest clients. How very sneaky of him.

"Oh, yes, John. That would be wonderful." Her voice was young, very young and at the same time carried that oldish quality of her footsteps.

"Not a problem," even John's voice was smiling but not in that way that said he was attracted to her. Strange. John liked looking at beautiful women. Was she not beautiful then? Possible. "Go on and have a seat. I'll have the tea out in a moment."

Sherlock listened closely to the rustling sounds as the pair settled themselves and the clinking from the kitchen as John made tea. The pair sat in silence, complete silence. Interesting. In his experience most people were uncomfortable with silence and had to make some noise, even if only shifting in their seats. This pair however made no sound whatsoever after they'd sat aside from their breathing.

Sherlock was momentarily diverted from his boredom which he was grateful for. Though he knew that as soon as he actually saw them he'd be bored again as they couldn't possibly be at all interesting and their so called case would be something both mundane and boring. So far they had proved rather interesting but he knew it wouldn't last.

"Here you are," John announced as he came back into the room a few minutes later carrying a tray of tea and Sherlock listened to the clinking of the cups and rustle of clothing as John sat near him. "Now then, what's up?" He asked them after he'd handed them both cups of tea.

There was silence for a few moments and Sherlock opened his eyes his curiosity nearly getting the better of him. Exercising extreme self-control he glared at the ceiling. This was an anomaly. He didn't like being caught by surprise like these two had been doing. But, at least he wasn't bored yet.

"Mr. Holmes?" The girl finally asked. Her voice was dreamy and had an Irish lilt to it that seemed to smooth itself over his skin. It was a strange sensation and he catalogued it for future investigation. "Sherlock Holmes?" She repeated herself.

"Hmm?" He hummed in inquiry and flapped a hand at them in a gesture to get on with it. He was bracing himself for the complete letdown that their case would bring. Would it be a missing relative? Stolen jewelry? Adultery? Any of those would prove to be boring and not a challenge to his skills at all.

"Our friend Hermione said that you were the best consulting detective in England," the girl began and Sherlock's brain whirled with new information as the girl was now speaking directly to him. He still didn't take his eyes off the ceiling though. More anticipation that way and less boredom even if only for a few moments.

The boy hadn't said a word yet, either he was mute or he was a classic hen pecked husband forced to go along with his wife. The girl was young, no more than nineteen and yet sounded older at times. There was something more about them that seemed just out of his grasp but again it was too much effort to figure it out. He disliked becoming curious only to find the object of his curiosity was as boring as everyone else.

"He is," Sherlock heard John assure them. He felt a spurt of warmth at John's words even as he rolled his eyes. Really, how banal. John always defended him. It may have even proven just as boring as everything else if it wasn't John doing it. But John was never boring.

"I am the _only_ consulting detective in England," he snapped, irritated at the unfamiliar warmth in his chest from John's words and the conviction that the pair were going to be so very dull. The girl's need for assurance was testament to that. "The only one in the world, in fact." He boasted.

"Well then," the girl said brightly, thoroughly reassured by his arrogant statement. Sherlock gave a mental sigh, people were idiots. "That would make you the best, wouldn't it?" She seemed to ponder for a moment. "Consequently it also makes you the worst and Hermione did say you were the best. Oh, Harry." Her voice was now filled with dismay. "We really need the best for this mission and if Mr. Holmes is both the best and the worst I don't know if he can help us."

Sherlock could hear John giggling in the background but his brain had ground to a halt for a moment. The _worst_ consulting detective? Really? How preposterous! He was the best and he was the only. Though when his brain creaked back into motion he realized that he couldn't really find any fault in her logic. Strange and disturbing. He'd never looked at his job title in quite that way before. Still simply because he was the only didn't make him the worst consulting detective, did it?

"I'm sure it will be fine, Luna," the boy with her finally spoke. He was young too and yet he sounded weary. Hen pecked husband indeed. Nothing else he could be, not with a voice that weary.

Sherlock smirked a bit at his correct deductions about the boy and ignored the sound of cloth rustling until a smooth cheek pressed against his. He jerked his head to the side away from the intrusion and glared at the blond female that now filled his vision. "What are you doing?" He hissed out completely perturbed by her nearness and the aura of something around her. She was a walking, breathing anomaly. There was power around her and he couldn't figure out why.

In the small part of his brain not occupied with outrage at her actions he also noted that while she wasn't a classical beauty she had a certain otherworldliness that was very pretty. Why was John not attracted to her? That made no sense. John was attracted to women and though he wouldn't admit it men as well. This female was lovely and John felt no attraction for her. Another anomaly. Sherlock wasn't normally attracted to anyone much less a woman and he found her aesthetically pleasing and quite attractive.

That attractive profile turned and wide grey eyes caught his. "This isn't going to work," she murmured with a displeased frown. "This position is far too awkward." She sighed and gave her head a small shake without ever releasing his eyes from her own gaze. "Well, there's no help for it; you'll have to budge over. I can't see them from this angle." Her tone was quite serious and the look in her eyes said that she expected him to know what she was talking about. For perhaps the first time in his life Sherlock felt a tiny bit stupid.

There was just something about this girl that made him feel as though he was totally missing the point. "Pardon?" He asked as civilly as he possibly could.

The girl rolled her eyes at him. "Budge over," she commanded again slowly.

"Why?" Sherlock asked curiously.

"So I can see them too," she explained with a slight air of irritation.

"See what?"

John's giggles were now full blown laughter and even this girl's husband was fighting back a grin with twinkling green eyes. Though Sherlock wasn't completely positive the dark haired boy/man was the girl's husband, it seemed a logical conclusion. "What are you talking about?" He asked the girl sharply when it was obvious that neither of the other men were going to assist him in fending off her unwanted presence and strange behaviour.

"The Light Warblers," the girl explained with another eye roll and an even more exasperated note to her voice. "Now budge over." When he only continued to stare at her she pushed at his limbs until there was enough room for her to lie on the sofa beside him. "There, that's not so bad, is it?" She pressed her cheek to his again and followed his line of sight to the dust motes dancing in the rays of the sun coming from the window. "Remarkable," she sighed and he felt her grin against his cheek. "They're very active today, aren't they? You must be very intelligent. Light Warblers are attracted to intelligence."

"Light Warblers," Sherlock finally found his voice though even to his own ears it was faint and unsure. He had been too shocked by her actions and their very calmness to react. He had never met someone so…so…comfortable with themselves and others. And now she was staring at his ceiling and talking about a being he had never heard of. Just who was this girl? And was she as insane as she seemed?

The girl nodded and he felt her grin against his cheek. "Very good. Yes. Light Warblers. Why did you think there was so much dust in your flat? It's because the Light Warblers like you and leave their dust to help make you smarter. They don't quite realize that the dust only makes you sneeze but I suppose that does help doesn't it? I mean if you didn't sneeze then you wouldn't blow your nose and then your head would get all stuffed up and then it would be hard to think or concentrate. Hmm," she brought a hand up to her face and nibbled on a fingernail. "I don't know why I hadn't thought of that before. Wow! Mr. Holmes, your Light Warblers are remarkably useful." The girl threw her arms around him and squeezed him in a tight hug. "Thank you for letting me see them!"

There was a thump as John fell from his chair because he was laughing so hard. Sherlock thought that was rather unkind of him but couldn't seem to make his mouth form the rebuke that was floating through his mind. Was this some kind of joke on John's part? Had he set this up? Part of Sherlock was impressed if that was true; it had certainly diverted him from his boredom. But the biggest section of his massive intellect knew that while John was laughing like a lunatic that the girl was serious in her words. He could detect no hint of lies from her. Of course that didn't mean that the girl wasn't completely insane. She could believe every word that came from her own mouth without it being the real truth.

The man/boy with her stood with a grin and sparkling, amused green eyes and held out a hand to the girl. "Up you come, Lunalove," he said. "I think you've broken our hosts."

The girl sighed again and wiggled her fingers towards the ceiling as though waving goodbye before taking the man's hand and climbing to her feet. "They aren't broke, Harrymine," she paused. "Well, John will be if he doesn't stop laughing so hard soon, he may break a rib or something. Mr. Holmes is simply reconfiguring his brain. He'll need explanations. Ah well," she flipped her long, tangled blonde hair over her shoulder. "At least the Light Warblers will be here to help John tell Mr. Holmes what he'll need to know and if he's anything like his brother more than Mr. Holmes needs to know. Remus loved to explain things."

John slowly composed himself. "You're leaving the explanations to me?" He squawked with only a hint of mirth remaining.

"Yes, of course," Luna nodded. "You are his Significant Other, John. It's your job to tell him everything." All the men could hear the capitals on those words.

"Explanations?" Sherlock asked.

"I'm not his significant other," John barked. "I'm not gay."

Sherlock frowned. He hated it when John did that. It wasn't that they were a couple but did John have to be so vehement about not finding him at all attractive?

The girl, Luna, gave John a pitying look. "You are the one living with him and he needs to know about our world. That makes you the Significant Other." Her grey eyes caught Sherlock's again. "And yes, Sherlock Holmes, explanations. We thought he'd already told you, you see. Obviously the wrackspurts have fuzzed up his brain." She took the boy/man's, Harry's, hand. "We'll come back later when you've been told about what you need to know. If you have any questions we'll answer them."

"I think I'll need Mycroft for this one," John muttered under his breath.

The man stiffened but it barely registered with Sherlock who was still in shock at the things he deduced from the girl. His deductions were making no logical sense and he seriously worried for his sanity. "As long as he's not here when we come back tomorrow it's your call, John. Just keep that pompous windbag away from us or there will be bloodshed…or not. Some of the spells I know can cause severe harm without spilling his blood." Harry said quietly and Sherlock turned his attention to him. His brain went on vacation as it sped out of control at what Sherlock saw when he looked closely at the boy/man. It shouldn't be possible for him to exist. There was such power and sadness and death and kindness and so many other things clinging to him that they seemed to be waging a war all around him to overcome him and yet he didn't notice.

"Thank you, Harry." John put his hand out to shake the other man's hand. "Did you actually have a case for us then?" John's query was reasonable said the part of Sherlock's brain that was still capable of thought after the complete shut down following the utter impossibility of the pairs existence.

"Yes, of course, we do," Luna said brightly. "We'll tell you all about it tomorrow morning. Would you like us to bring Teddy so that you can meet your nephew?"

John positively beamed. "I would like that. Thank you, Luna. Only if there are no objections from his guardian though."

Harry snorted. "There won't be," he assured John. "I'll take care of it."

John shook his head. "Are you sure? I mean…you know what I am." John frowned.

Luna laughed. "Harrymine will take care of any objections, John. He's very good at it."

John's smile returned. "Thank you."

Luna waved his thanks off and peered at Sherlock. "Did I really break him?" She sounded sad.

Harry patted her shoulder and then knelt down by the sofa and gazed at Sherlock's eyes. "No," Harry finally said. "He simply needs to give his brain time to reboot. We've shocked him, I think. He didn't expect us, Lunalove."

"No one expects us, Harrymine," the girl snickered. "We'll go now and let you and the Light Warblers sort out Mr. Holmes, John. See you tomorrow."

"Until tomorrow," John waved them out the door. At least Sherlock wouldn't be shooting any holes in the wall today and probably tomorrow too. Explaining the Wizarding World and his lack of a place in it would at least keep Sherlock occupied.

Sherlock blinked after they'd left and laid back to stare once again at the ceiling. He had a lot to think about.


	2. John's Storytime

**Disclaimer: Yeah, so caught a tour bus to the Parthenon. Pretty cool. No Eros, though. Following a lead to Agii Apostoli. My contact said they thought they saw Eros hanging out partying there. Don't know if I believe my contact, he was rather drunk, but I've nothing better to do. For now, Sherlock and his friends aren't mine and I'm making no money. If I had money I wouldn't have to hitchhike.**

**A/N: Okay, so this chapter may make it seem as though I don't like Mycroft, that is patently untrue. Mycroft is a very versatile character. He can go either way with being out of character. This Mycroft isn't a bad guy. He is only going on the information he has available. The only spies he has in the Magical World are muggleborns who left as soon as they graduated from Hogwarts or those who fled and went into hiding during Voldemort's rise to power in either war. The only official information he gets was through Dumbledore or the Ministry so it's very skewed. He is trying to protect John and Sherlock from themselves at this point. He will learn his lesson eventually, I promise.**

**John's Storytime**

**Chapter Summary: There are many things about his best friend that Sherlock never knew. Will this new information change anything? And just who are Harry and Luna Potter?**

"Light Warblers, John?" Sherlock finally asked a few hours later. "Who were they and how…what…I'm frankly speechless. My deductions about them can't possibly be true. They're impossible." He knew that he made very little sense but John would understand him. John always understood him.

John set the tea cup in his hand onto the table in front of the sofa. "Yes, Light Warblers, Sherlock. Or at least that's what Luna says. The people that visited were Harry Potter and his wife, Luna. The other questions you have I can't possibly answer if you don't finish them and as I don't know what you deduced I can't say whether they're true or not." John sat back and gazed at Sherlock quietly. "I do have things to tell you but we're waiting on Mycroft who will provide proof of what I say, should you require it and his own perspective on the Wizarding World and Harry Potter. I wouldn't put too much stock in what Mycroft says about Harry, however, as the two of them dislike each other even more than you and Mycroft."

"I dislike Mycroft," Sherlock pointed out. "But he's still my brother and he does love me as I do him, sometimes. Why doesn't he like Harry Potter?"

"That's a story better told by Harry or Mycroft," John hedged. "But it has a lot to do with how Mycroft ignored some problems and Harry was forced to fix them."

Sherlock swallowed and stared at John. He couldn't imagine Mycroft ignoring any kind of problem no matter how small. Then he shook that notion away, he'd speak to Mycroft about it later. "I don't require proof, John," Sherlock said slowly. "I know you won't lie to me."

John gave him a gentle smile. "Some of what I'm going to tell you is going to be unbelievable though so I don't expect you to just believe me out of hand, Sherlock. I know you like to have logical proof and clear evidence."

Sherlock thought about that for a moment. "You mean you don't expect me to believe that they have some kind of mystical power that allows them to manipulate their environment to their heart's content without proof?"

"Erm…yes?" John stuttered, shocked that Sherlock had deduced that. He didn't think that magic was that visible. He'd certainly never been able to spot a witch or wizard simply by looking at them, except for the outlandishly out of date and strange clothing that many magic raised wore.

Sherlock waved a hand negligently. "I know that already. The boy…Harry, was practically thrumming with it. My hair nearly stood on end at the energy surrounding him when he knelt by me. He must be a very powerful magic user."

John smiled again. "He is, actually, the most powerful wizard or witch in nearly a thousand years. Don't call him boy though, Sherlock. He doesn't like it."

"Why?" Sherlock asked, genuinely curious, though he could probably guess. The young man was so obviously abused Sherlock had to wonder how anyone could miss it.

John shrugged. "I've no idea, not really. I have my suspicions and so do you but I've never asked him and I probably won't. If it's what we both believe it to be, he's already left that situation and there's nothing we can do to change the past." John shook off the morose thoughts. "Since you believe in magic I'll tell you what I can before Mycroft shows up."

"He doesn't like Mycroft either," Sherlock observed. The tensing of Harry's shoulders at the mention of Mycroft had escaped his conscious notice earlier but it now penetrated. "Why? I know I asked you earlier and that you don't know the whole reason but tell me what you can. I want to know how much to yell at Mycroft for."

John smirked a bit evilly and Sherlock felt a shot of heated desire at it. John may not find him attractive but he definitely found John desirable even if he'd never have the chance to act on it. "Mycroft used his connections to stop the military from intervening in a war in Harry's world. I know that you don't understand what I just said but it's a long story so just be patient and listen to me. I don't know a lot about it because I'm not part of Harry's world, not really, and haven't been for a very long time." John drew a breath. "You know that magic exists and that people can use it. Well, hundreds of years ago the wizards and witches of the time decided that they didn't want to be around non magic users. So they cut themselves off…built their own enclaves, I guess that would be the best word."

John went on to explain the history of the Wizarding World and why they had a separate governing system even though they lived on British soil. Sherlock nodded throughout the explanation as he could understand why they had done what they did. Really who wouldn't? John finally wound down and Sherlock stared at him for a moment. "What does that have to do with Mycroft stopping the military?"

So John explained about muggleborns and purebloods and halfbloods and Voldemort. Sherlock's eyes widened at the story of the madman that had tried to take over Wizarding and Muggle Britain. But he kept silent while John explained all he knew.

"You mean to tell me that this…this terrorist was scooping people up and killing them and my brother did nothing?" Sherlock hissed.

"And what would you have had me do, brother?" Mycroft asked from the door.

Sherlock scowled. "Oh, I don't know," he said sarcastically. "Stop them maybe?"

"How?" Mycroft asked mildly. "They have magic to kill and protect themselves from us." He strode into the parlour and sat in an armchair across from John. "We have no defenses against their spells."

John snorted. "They've yet to invent a shield spell that will stop a bullet, Mycroft."

Mycroft frowned at him for a moment before his expression cleared. "I will not have a civil war again. Voldemort was a nuisance and has been taken care of. We may thank Mr. Potter for that, of course. Though I do wonder if he won't become an even bigger problem in the future."

"It's no wonder he doesn't like you, Mycroft," Sherlock bit out. "I don't like you either. Since when does the British Government depend on children to fight our wars? You left a _child_ alone to defeat a madman! A child, Mycroft!"

"He was well taken care of," Mycroft countered, in a nonchalant tone. "Incidentally, would you tell him that his relatives have been safely retrieved and are home, Dr. Watson? They have requested that he give them time to settle back into their lives before he visits."

John held up a hand when Sherlock sat up straight and prepared to light into his brother. "Tell me something, Mycroft," John said in a quiet voice that made Sherlock shiver at the menace in it, it was an interesting sensation. Part of him was positive that he'd be terrified if John ever used that voice on him and the other part was positive he'd jump John the second the first word was out of his mouth. "Have you met Harry Potter?" John didn't seem to be aware of Sherlock's dilemma.

Mycroft gave a genial smile. "Once, briefly. Intriguing young man," he said almost to himself. "Seemed to be very shy and quiet. One would hardly think that given his background and the stories I've been told of him."

"Why would one think he'd be anything else?" John asked in that same quiet voice.

Mycroft looked faintly astonished. "He was raised to be a soldier. He knew that his destiny lay in the defeat of Voldemort. And yet he seems to hate the limelight that his actions rightly give him. From the reports I was sent from his headmaster I had expected someone far more arrogant and bigheaded. And the newspapers from the Wizarding World claim he is unstable and mad, even now. None of their reporters dare to approach him after he transfigured one of them into a coffee mug with an American flag on it."

John snorted. "Well, there's your problem then. You depended on only two sources of information, one of which was under the control of a corrupt government. If you knew about the part he was supposedly born to play then why did you not check up on him yourself?"

Mycroft gave his head a small shake as though indulging John. "He was already in school at the time I learned of him. There was no need to check on him. I was given regular reports on his progress."

Sherlock gave a wordless growl and John shot him a look that had him sitting back with a smirk. "I would suggest you hold off on your preconceived notions of Harry Potter until you spend a bit more time with him, though I doubt he'll ever let you." John suggested. "And I thought you were supposed to be smarter than Sherlock." He shook his head in disdain.

Mycroft merely raised an eyebrow at John's dismay. "Dr. Watson," he started only to be cut off by John.

"I will not listen to your feeble excuses, Mycroft. Harry doesn't like you at all and I don't blame him. You are a stupid man. I will attempt to get Harry to spend more than five minutes in your presence and if it happens then you come back to me and give me those same excuses and deductions if you can." John sat back and leveled an angry look on Mycroft. "Now you may leave. I've told Sherlock everything and he believes me without your help."

"Everything John?" Sherlock asked, astonished at how little the information had changed his opinions of his best friend and the two people that he'd only just met. There had to be more. How did John know all these things, for instance?

John flushed. "Well everything that pertains to Harry anyway. And everything I may have needed Mycroft's assistance with. Besides, he didn't seem to bring A and she's the one I really needed to see for the proof. Harry says she's a witch."

"She is," Mycroft confirmed. "I can text her to come in and do a spell if you wish."

"I don't," Sherlock frowned. "I don't trust you not to order her to do something harmful."

"I would never allow Anna to harm either of you," Mycroft protested firmly.

Sherlock only shrugged. "I'm sure there are plenty of spells that aren't considered harmful by you that actually are. You could have her persuade us to forget about Harry and Luna or have us attack them when they show up or any one of a hundred other things. Just go, Mycroft, if I feel the need to see someone performing magic I'll ask Harry the next time he comes by."

Mycroft rose to his feet and gave them both a faint superior smile. "Very well. Simply be aware that Mr. Potter is a very dangerous individual and I will protect my family if I must from him."

John sent him a glare. "Harry would never hurt an innocent." He said stoutly, his faith in Harry nearly as strong as his faith in Sherlock. "And whether you believe it or not Sherlock and I are innocents to him. Slightly strange but innocents all the same."

Mycroft gave him a pitying look and then turned and left.

"John?" Sherlock asked. "Why does Mycroft think that Harry was raised the way he does?"

"Because he's an idiot," John returned sharply. "Since he's not part of the Wizarding World he believes the crap the politicians of that world feed him. Either that or someone close to him has been deliberately keeping him in the dark. Though truthfully a lot of people believe that tripe. The Potters are an old and very wealthy family. Harry is the only Potter left. Everything, the fortune, the land, the seats on the Wizengamot, it's all his. Mycroft believes what everyone else does because he's too lazy to actually investigate. I never thought I'd be able to say that about either of you but in this case it's true."

"So you're going to try and give him a chance to make his own conclusions?"

"Yep."

"How could he not see that Harry was abused?" Sherlock wondered out loud. "It's written all over him quite plainly."

John nodded. "Now. He used to hide it much better. Luna's been good for him. Now do you want to know the parts that Mycroft doesn't need to prove for you?"

Sherlock nodded eagerly.

"I was born John Romulus Lupin and I am a squib." John stated boldly.

"That's the opposite of a Muggleborn, right?" Sherlock asked with no inflection in his voice though he could tell by the way that John had announced his status almost belligerently that he thought Sherlock would look down on him for it.

John nodded, relived that Sherlock hadn't pitied or reviled him for an accident of birth. "When I was five my younger brother, Remus, who was two, preformed accidental magic. That's when my parents finally admitted that I was a squib. They didn't want me to grow up feeling that I was less than my brother and so they sent me into the muggle world to be adopted. I was. I didn't really understand at the time but now I am grateful for what my parents did. Three years later Remus was bitten by a werewolf. My parents tried to get me back as a werewolf can't inherit but a squib can to a certain extent. Werewolves are also not allowed to go to school or marry or have children."

"That's disgusting," Sherlock broke in, appalled at the unfair laws.

"Yes," John agreed. "Remus was unique though. The werewolf curse didn't affect his magic. Most times it does. So Remus did get to go to school and I was allowed to stay with the Watson's. I knew about both worlds and tried my best to maintain contact with my families. I met Remus's friends sometimes. They were an alright bunch. Sirius and Peter, both purebloods, had no idea how to interact with me and they thought they were better than me. James, Harry's father, was also a pureblood and he was unsure at first and then just decided one day that it didn't matter. James's family was very liberal and quite open minded."

"I'm not sure I understand." Sherlock admitted uncomfortably.

John smiled. "Squibs are an embarrassment, Sherlock. Most purebloods will have nothing to do with the squibs in their families. There are rumors of some of the more…dark families getting rid of their embarrassments."

Sherlock frowned. "For an accident of birth?"

John nodded. "Even the lighter families shunt them to the side and ignore their squibs. James's family though hadn't had a squib in a very long time. The Potter's were different. They were far more discriminating in their taste in spouses. Potter men seem to be attracted to intelligence and Potter women to powerful men. They never much cared for blood status. It's only a quirk of fate or wealth that they're still considered purebloods. The Potter family has been around for centuries." He drew a breath. "Anyway we've gotten off topic. I was overseas when I learned that James and Lily had been murdered by Voldemort. As soon as my tour was over I searched out Remus to learn what had happened. Apparently Sirius had betrayed them to Voldemort and then killed Peter. Remus had no idea what had happened to Harry except that Dumbledore, the Headmaster and leader of the Order of the Phoenix, said he was safe."

"And your brother just listened to him without confirming that for himself?" Sherlock scoffed.

"Yep," John said. "Dumbledore was this supposedly great man that everyone nearly worshipped. I looked for Harry when I wasn't abroad getting shot at but I could never find him. I didn't quite trust Dumbledore but it didn't really matter in the end because I could never find Harry to check on him. By the time Remus saw him again he was thirteen." John went on to sketch out what he'd learned from Remus about Harry's school years and the second war with Voldemort.

"Amazing," Sherlock breathed out when John had finished. "Simply amazing. Harry really did all that?"

"I'm sure it's not the full story but Harry doesn't talk about things much. He wrote to me to let me know that Remus had died. Remus had told him a bit about me and he knew that no one else would inform me. A few months ago he found out that I was back and hunted me down at the surgery to meet me. He's a good kid."

"Yes, he does seem to be," Sherlock agreed. "But what about his wife, Luna?"

"Luna is," John paused as though looking for words to describe Luna. "Luna is Luna, Sherlock. She's different but she's fiercely loyal to him. She may seem a bit…well, odd, but I think it's a mask so that no one bothers her. She's a good kid and she'd do nearly anything for Harry."

Sherlock gave him an arch look. "That was more than obvious, John."

John laughed. "It's late now, Sherlock and I know that Harry and Luna will be here bright and early so I am going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Sherlock waved a hand and lay back on the couch. There were no dust motes now, the sun was gone. "Good night, John." Were Light Warblers only visible in the sun? If he watched long enough maybe he'd be able to see one. He'd often thought he'd seen something on the edge of his vision when the sun shone in through the window. Light Warblers dancing in the sun?


	3. Hermione

**Disclaimer: Agii Apostoli was a bust. Very beautiful but no Eros. So I'm off to Pyli. There's a rumor that he was seen there and he was with his aunt, Artemis. I hope she doesn't mind that I'm not a virgin. Also have a lead as to where Mt. Olympus is, in the middle of the Aegean Sea, if this one doesn't pan out. I'll keep you posted but until then I guess the BBC can keep their money and Sherlock and his associates.**

**A/N: I don't like Hermione. At all. Well, that's not quite true. Allow me to rephrase: I don't like canon Hermoine. She's bossy and rigid. She also thinks she's smarter than everyone around her in her age group simply because she reads more and remembers what she reads. While I myself am a bibliophile I know that books have nothing on life. Experience is a better teacher than any written account. I realize that in real life Sherlock would be better able to tolerate her…maybe but not here. Sherlock has just learned that magic is real and so he now thinks that anything, ANYTHING is possible. He will continue to believe that unless and until it's proven wrong. With Harry and Luna being his main contacts in the Wizarding World I think he will continue to believe that if he can think of it then it can be done. **

**Hermione**

**Chapter Summary: Harry and Luna have returned to 221b Baker Street and this time they brought a friend. How will Sherlock deal with a woman who thinks she's smarter than he is?**

The knock on the door startled him even though he'd been expecting it. Sherlock had been waiting impatiently since he'd woken at five for Harry and Luna to come back. It was now nine and they had finally arrived.

Sherlock jumped from the sofa; boredom long forgotten in the excitement of new knowledge and a case that would surely be interesting. With people like Harry and Luna it couldn't be anything but interesting. He strode to the door and nearly frowned when he heard Mrs. Hudson greeting them. They were here to see him not her. Sherlock had always been a bit possessive.

"Good morning, dears," came Mrs. Hudson's bright voice. "How are you? Have you come to see Sherlock and John again?" Such an idiotic question. Why else would they be here? "Oh, and you've brought friends! How lovely!" Not lovely. Sherlock wanted to talk to Luna and Harry, not their friends. Well, maybe if their friends were magical as well…

"Good morning Mrs. Hudson," said Luna's dreamy voice. "We're fine, thank you. Yes. And this is Teddy, Harry's godson and John's nephew. That's Hermione, our friend." Oh, yes! Now he remembered. Harry and Luna had promised to bring John's nephew around. Hermione was the friend that had sent the pair to him. Excellent! Another magical person to observe.

"And aren't you the cutest little boy?" Mrs. Hudson cooed. "Come in. Come in." Sherlock opened the door to the flat just enough to see the hallway downstairs and had a clear view of Mrs. Hudson urging them into the hallway.

"Not cute. I Teddy!" A childish voice piped up in irritated tones. Sherlock's eyes found the child and he wondered why, if the boy was John's nephew he looked so much like Harry. He had Harry's dark hair and high cheek bones but Luna's strong chin. Were they in some way related to John and his brother? "I not little. Big boy. Free." The little boy stamped his foot in irritation as he held up two fingers. He was rather cute, Sherlock decided, even if he couldn't count or looked anything like John.

"Edward Remus Lupin!" A shrill female voice screeched, that was not a sound that could have come from Luna. A quick glance at the rest of the group and he identified the speaker. The voice belonged to a woman with bushy brown hair and a stern face. Sherlock wasn't so sure that she would be any fun to observe but looks could be deceiving, just look at John.

He looked nice, normal and boring but he was descended from a line of magic users and he was one of the most dangerous individuals Sherlock had ever met. He'd give this Hermione a chance if only because she was only one of three magical people he'd met. "Apologize to Mrs. Hudson. That was very rude." She continued in a bossy sort of voice that grated on Sherlock's nerve endings.

"Teddybear, have the Lustionan Figulars eaten one of your fingers?" Luna's voice was slightly anxious as she interrupted Teddy before he could say anything and her frown seemed very out of place on her normally calm face as she quickly inspected his hands. "You seem to be missing one."

The boy looked alarmed for a moment and then smiled as the third finger rose to join the other two. "No Auntie Luna. They all there." He grinned up at her with a cheeky smile.

Luna put her hand over her heart in supreme relief. "Good. I was worried. Lustionan Figulars eat the fingers of boys that stomp their feet, you see."

Teddy frowned, Harry covered his mouth with his fist, Mrs. Hudson smiled indulgently and Hermione scowled. "I sorry, Mrs. Hudson," Teddy said contritely and not a bit fearfully as he warily glanced about the room for the elusive Lustionan Figulars. "I didn't mean to be rude. But I not cute. I Teddy."

Mrs. Hudson stuck her hand out to shake the boy's. "Are you not allowed to be both?" She asked him with a smile.

"No." Teddy frowned but shook her hand. "I only Teddy."

Mrs. Hudson giggled. "Very well, Teddy. It's very nice to meet you." She waved the others towards the stairs and Sherlock quickly clicked the door shut and took a few steps away from it so they wouldn't know he'd been eavesdropping.

There were footsteps on the staircase, strange as the day before he'd been nearly unable to hear them, and then a sharp rap on the door. Sherlock schooled his expression into indifference and opened the door.

"Hello Sherlock Holmes," Luna said before he could even open his mouth. "We're sorry to have kept you waiting. Teddy's grandmother insisted on feeding us and we couldn't turn away Gran Andi's food. Had we known you'd been up and waiting so long we'd have come right over."

"Hello Luna Potter," he returned and felt the edges of his mouth creeping up in a smile against his will. There was just something about Luna that made him feel light and happy. "Won't you come in? How did you know I'd been waiting for you?" He wondered if there was some mystical spying spell or if Luna was actually like him and had deduced it.

"Thank you," Luna said and walked past him toward the chair she'd sat in the day before. She eyed the ceiling with a frown for a moment and then her expression cleared back to its normal dreamy look. She cast a small glance at Hermione and then looked back to him. "The Nargles told me you'd been up since five waiting for us. Unfortunately they waited until you'd opened the door to tell me."

Before he could ask her about the frown at the ceiling or even greet Harry the bushy headed woman was grabbing his hand and shaking it. "Don't listen to Luna, Mr. Holmes. Nargles don't exist." She told him confidentially with a roll of her eyes. "It's so nice to finally meet you Mr. Holmes," she said, still shaking his hand, her grip to tight for comfort. "I've followed your website for years. It's very interesting though I do think you shouldn't exaggerate quite so much. I mean really! Who's going to believe that you can actually deduce an airline pilot by his thumbs? I certainly don't though I can see how one could come to the conclusion that it is possible. But my thumbs though possibly smaller are just the same as Harry's. They're only thumbs, Mr. Holmes.

"I've also had a look at your colleague's website but it's not quite so interesting. I mean so much flowery prose and he praises you so much one would think you were the second coming of Christ! He sees you through rose colored glasses that don't leave room for the obvious mistakes you've made in your deductions. Anyone could have known that a board across the windows would have kept out robbers so it must have been something else.

"Do you actually know how to tell over 100 different kinds of tobacco simply from their ash? I don't really believe that's possible, I mean honestly. Are there even one hundred types of tobacco? But then, everyone lies on the internet don't they? No matter how smart you are the lure of no one knowing you can lead to exaggerations and lies."

During her longwinded speech, in which she hadn't taken a single breath and her grip on his hand had tightened when he'd tried to withdraw it, Sherlock's indifferent expression had slowly darkened. From the corner of his eye he saw Luna sigh and shake her head while Harry, who was still standing behind Hermione, rubbed at his forehead with one hand while the other held onto Teddy's hand. Teddy glared at Hermione as though she'd stolen his candy and tugged at Harry's hand so that he could try and squeeze past the brown haired woman. "Hermione," Harry began with a frown of disappointment.

"Of course, Dr. Watson's website also details all those cases that you help New Scotland Yard with. I quite like reading about those and I'm sure if one looks at the stories close enough then one can pull the truth of things out. I mean I can't really believe that you found that cabbie simply because he was someone that everyone trusted. That's just silly, isn't it? And how in the world could anyone get 'Rachel' from 'Rache'? It makes no sense but then Dr. Watson does seem to be quite enamored with you and one must always allow for blinkers when one is in love." She gave him a smirk as though she shared a secret with him that no one else was privy too. "You and I know the truth of it though, don't we? It was quite clever of you to figure out the code for the Blind Banker case but I'm sure it wasn't nearly as difficult as Dr. Watson made it sound."

Sherlock finally wrenched his hand free from her grip, brought his aching fingers to his chest and covered them with his other hand in protection. "Madame, you were cutting off my circulation." He said as coldly as he could. He drew a breath to rebuke her false assumptions but she carried on before he could.

"I'm terribly sorry," she said and a flush of shame colored her cheeks. "I'm simply so excited to finally be meeting you and I guess I got carried away. It's just that I've been following your website for years whenever I could and I've learned to apply your methods and I'm just so happy to finally meet you. I know that some of your methods don't actually work but still enough of them do that I'm very impressed."

"Excuse me?" Sherlock bit out. "All of my methods work." She frowned and opened her mouth to no doubt tell him which ones she felt did not but this time she was interrupted.

"Merlin, Hermione!" Harry exclaimed quickly before either of them could begin a rant at the other. "Could you leave the man alone long enough for Teddy and I to say hello and get through the doorway?"

"Oh! Sorry Harry," Hermione moved to the side and Harry gave Sherlock a sheepish smile. In an effort to forestall an argument he could feel in the air he took Sherlock's elbow and lead him into the parlour and away from the bushy haired menace.

"Morning, Mr. Holmes," Harry said with a cheerful smile that didn't quite reach his emerald green eyes. "John get called into the surgery?" His attempt to pull the conversation away from the idiot woman's hands was as laughable as it was effective.

"Oh Harry," Luna laughed lightly before Sherlock could answer him. "He's just stepped out to get milk."

"How could you possibly know that, Luna?" Hermione asked shrilly and Sherlock resisted the urge to cover his ears at the sound.

Luna giggled. "You're the one that says she can apply Mr. Holmes's methods of deduction so you tell me."

Sherlock hid his grin. Luna had obviously spotted the clues and was simply applying her own deduction skills. Finally someone who thought and saw the same way he did. He thought he'd never meet anyone else that could observe so much. Mycroft didn't count. He had proven himself to be a bit stupid. He accepted what other people had told him about the magical world without checking his facts.

Hermione scowled again. "There is no possible way to tell that Dr. Watson's gone out for milk," she stated confidently. Completely ignoring or not observing the all too obvious clues.

Luna shook her head with a pitying look towards Hermione and Harry groaned. "No possible way?" Luna questioned quietly. "So the tea cup with stone cold tea and no milk or the obvious empty jug on the table are invisible to you?" She gave Hermione a sad look and then turned to the ceiling humming softly to herself.

Now Hermione flushed. "No, Luna, I simply thought that you meant something else." She tried to cover her slip though her eyes widened as she spotted the milk jug and the cold tea on the table by the sofa.

Sherlock knew then that magical people were just like everyone else. Boring and unobservant. He'd thought that maybe their magic gave them an edge over other people but he'd been wrong. Harry and Luna, especially Luna, were simply anomalies and would have been even without magic. Hermione was a petty, book smart know it all. He longed to tell her everything he saw about her but he had promised John that he wouldn't deduce their guests without him there to smooth ruffled feathers and hurt feelings. Sherlock didn't think Harry or Luna would be bothered by his deductions but Hermione looked to be the type that was easily offended by the truth.

Sherlock couldn't stop his snort of derision. "It seems magical people are just as boring as everyone else," he muttered, his only concession to the knowledge raging in his mind. He flopped down on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. It was cloudy today and so even his intense concentration could not bring forth the Light Warblers, still it was far more interesting than Hermione was proving to be.

A small hand on his arm brought him out of his brooding and he turned to look at the little boy that suddenly looked a great deal like him. "Amazing," he breathed out. "How did you do that?" Hadn't the child looked like a mix of Harry and Luna only moments before? This was an incredible magical talent. Could any magical do it? So much knowledge to uncover.

Teddy gave a half shrug. "May I see too?" He asked very politely. "Auntie Luna says that you have lots of Light Warblers and I wanna see them."

"Luna!" Hermione cried. "You really need to stop filling Teddy's head with such nonsensical stories."

"How are they nonsensical?" Sherlock asked as he picked Teddy up gently and set him with his back against his chest so he could look for the Light Warblers. "I don't think we'll see any today," he told the boy quietly. "I think they like the sunlight."

Teddy nodded with a sigh. "Still wanna look," he said stubbornly.

"Me too," Sherlock answered.

"Maybe we will be as lucky as Unca Harry. He's really lucky, he's still alive."

"Pardon?" The easy way the boy claimed his uncle's continuing living state was evidence of the frequency with which he heard that phrase.

"Unca Harry says he should be dead a hundred times over but he's really lucky and so he's still breathing," Teddy seemed supremely unconcerned about the precarious state of his uncle's existence.

"They're nonsensical because things like Light Warblers and Crumple Horned Snorkacks don't exist!" Hermione insisted again. Sherlock hadn't been paying attention and she seemed to have been ranting while he'd been conversing with Teddy.

Sherlock turned his head to look at her with a raised eyebrow. Her exasperated conviction had caught his attention; she truly believed what she'd said and he couldn't understand why. "Really? What about dragons? Or unicorns? Are they real?" He asked her.

"Of course they exist," Hermione cried, completely thrown by the logical question.

Sherlock shrugged. "I've never seen them." He went back to watching the ceiling with Teddy. He'd made his point and he really wanted to find the Light Warblers. Their obvious near invisibility was maddening.

"Of course you haven't! You're a Muggle!" Hermione exclaimed. Sherlock would have been insulted had he not known what that word meant. He still didn't much care for it but he didn't think he could change it and he really didn't feel like trying right that moment.

"Hermione," Harry said gently as he pulled a chair from the kitchen into the parlour and sitting in it. Hermione moodily sat in John's chair and Sherlock frowned but didn't say anything. "Muggles can see dragons and unicorns and hippogriffs and Abraxans and Pegasi and many other magical creatures. He's trying to point out that just because you've never seen them doesn't mean they don't exist."

"And he's right," Luna nodded. "A hundred years ago no one had ever seen an atom, and now the muggles have microscopes that make them visible. The Wizarding World still hasn't seen atoms." Her last sentence was thoughtful. "I wonder if we should tell them…not that they'd believe us of course. The purebloods would laugh at us, though that isn't really anything to worry about. Everyone laughs at me…well, not Neville."

"Even Unca Harry?" Teddy piped up.

Luna laughed and Harry face palmed. "Of course Uncle Harry laughs at me. I'd be very offended if he didn't sometimes." She got up and ruffled Teddy's hair before sitting cross-legged on the floor next to the sofa. "Sometimes," she whispered. "I do things specifically to make him laugh. Your Uncle Harry doesn't smile nearly often enough. He's much more handsome when he laughs."

"Does the magical world truly ignore the existence of something so basic?" Sherlock questioned.

Luna nodded. "Oh, yes. They know nothing about atoms or electrons or protons or quarks or even gravity…not really. They realize that they can fall but they don't know why." She turned her head back to Hermione. "So they haven't seen atoms and therefore don't believe them to be real. You seem to have caught the Wizarding World's 'seeing is believing' mentality."

"That's completely different," Hermione protested a bit weakly but her brown eyes shone with conviction.

"That wasn't really what I was trying to point out," Sherlock said. "Though it is a valid point. I was trying to point out that she likely didn't believe that dragons and unicorns existed before she knew about magic. Now that she has seen the magical world and its contents she believes in dragons and unicorns and since they are presumably in books she would still believe even if she'd never seen one."

"Besides," Luna said airily. "They don't require your belief in them to exist. Some creatures do, you know? Not Light Warblers though or Crumple Horned Snorkacks."

"Creatures that need belief in them in order to exist?" Hermione asked faintly. "You mean like Tinkerbell? You do know that's just a movie, don't you? You can't kill things simply by saying that you don't believe in them."

Luna turned to her with an excited smile. "What's a Tinkerbell, Hermione? I've never heard of that creature. Where can I find one?"

"Tinkerbell is a fairy," Hermione explained. "She's from a story called 'Peter Pan' by J.M. Barry. It's a children's story. She isn't real."

Luna frowned in disappointment. "Fairies don't require belief either and everyone's seen one of them, well everyone magical." She gave Sherlock an apologetic glance. "I meant creatures like the Greek Gods or Father Christmas."

"I believe in Father Christmas," Teddy put in quickly as though he was afraid Hermione's callous statement would cause Father Christmas to cease to exist. "Oooo! Look!" His small finger pointed up at the ceiling as a shaft of sunlight illuminated the room. "Do you see them?" He directed at Sherlock.

Sherlock followed Teddy's finger with his eyes and thought, once again, that he could perceive something on the edges of his perception. "Mmm," he said noncommittally.

"Really, Teddy," Hermione sighed, giving the ceiling barely a glance. "I don't see anything."

"You can't see them from there," Teddy pointed out, unperturbed. "Only from Mr. Sh'lock's sofa. Auntie Luna told me."

"Very true, Teddybear," Luna approved.

"Tell them you don't see anything, Mr. Holmes. It's the only way they'll stop this nonsense." Hermione nearly ordered, frustrated.

Sherlock ignored her for a moment, formulating his thoughts and then frowned in irritation. "Well, I certainly can't see them now," he said in a snippy tone. "The sun's gone again."

Teddy nodded against his chest but didn't move otherwise. Hermione sighed, an irritated exhalation. "Do you know what the case they have for you is?" She asked archly.

Sherlock gave her a long look. "Searching out a creature," he said slowly as the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. That would be the only thing they'd need his help with and even then they probably could have gone looking without him. They more than likely wanted to spend time getting to know John and this was the best way. Not to mention Harry couldn't stand the adulation aimed at him in the Wizarding World and could use a break now and again in the Muggle one. Yes, he would take their case and use it as a means to pick their brains for knowledge every chance he got.

Teddy giggled. "Yep! A Crumpled Horned Sn..Snorkack!" His now gray eyes stared up at Sherlock with awe. Sherlock really did like children. They were so open and honest. Children rarely grew uncomfortable with his deductions. He simply couldn't look after them for very long, he tended to forget that they were more fragile in both body and mind than their adult counterparts.

Sherlock nodded to his newest accomplice. "Exactly. Most interesting case I've had in ages."

"Why are we here today if you've already told him what you want him to find and how did you convince him to go off on this wild goose chase?" Hermione growled.

"Ooo! Those are fun!" Luna cried delighted. "Maybe if Sherlock Holmes allows us to search with him sometimes we can have one! I love chasing wild geese!" She gave Sherlock a pleading look and he smiled his acceptance. Chasing wild geese, he wondered. It would be interesting anyway. Wild creatures were unpredictable.

"For one thing, you bugged us to bring you so that you could meet the Great Sherlock Holmes. For another, we haven't told him why we want to hire him, Hermione," Harry said quietly. "Though I'm not at all surprised that he deduced it for himself this morning. He was a bit shocked yesterday when we were here and we didn't get the chance to inform him." He gave Hermione a sharp look. "And we were waiting for John to get back before we told him today. John is far more capable of dealing with any shock or outrage than we are."

"Harry! You can't possibly think this is a good idea. He'll never be able to find one, as they don't actually exist, and then you'll have been throwing your money away! Your parents and Sirius didn't leave you that money to just throw it away."

From the corner of his eye Sherlock saw Harry's unconcerned shrug. "It's my money," he said. "I'll spend it how I choose. Besides, I think this'll be fun and far more interesting than getting a job that I'll hate and spending all my time in the Wizarding World dealing with fangirls and the mass stupidity. I think my parents would like to know that I'm spending the money they and my ancestors left me on something fun and I know Sirius is pleased as punch at what I'm intending to do."

"Wizards and witches aren't stupid, Harry!" Hermione objected halfway through his speech.

"Everyone is stupid, Hermione," he countered, immediately. "They'll only believe what they want to be true or what they are afraid is true. People are stupid." He nodded his head once sharply at the end.

"I still can't believe that out of everything in those books that that's the part you focus on," Hermione grumbled. "I gave you that series so that you would see that all heroes have obstacles to deal with and your problems aren't anywhere near as bad as they could be."

Sherlock opened his mouth to ask the name of the books that apparently agreed with his assessment of human nature but footsteps coming from the stairs interrupted him. John was coming back and he felt the strange sensation in his chest that he always did when John came home.


	4. The Case

**Disclaimer: I did find an Eros in Pyli with an Aunt Artemis but it wasn't the right Eros. Darn it! So now I'm off to find a boat to take me to the exact middle of the Aegean Sea. I'm not holding out much hope but I refuse to give up. Mark and Steve can keep their characters for now. I wonder, though, does Sir Arthur know that they've been taken from him? The wrath of a writer's ghost is a fearsome thing, you know. **

**A/N: I know the last few chapters were kind of…well, boring but they were needed in order to set the stage. After this one they should pick up as our foursome will be going off on their search but I can't promise anything. I get rather wordy at times and take pride in using a page to say something that should only take a sentence or two. Okay, not really pride but…well, you get the picture. Truthfully, until Becca, to whom this story is dedicated and written for, tells me the story is boring her then I'll just keep writing. Enjoy the chapter!**

**The Case**

**Chapter Summary: So now John's home. Yay! How will he react to Hermione? And just what is this case that Harry and Luna want John and Sherlock to take? **

"Sherlock," John called from the door. "Are they here yet?" He stopped abruptly as he spotted the visitors. "Well, that answers my question. Hello all." He maneuvered the bags over his arms through the doorway and Harry hastily got up to help him take them to the kitchen. "Thank you, Harry."

"Not a problem, John," Harry smiled. He hefted the bags onto the table. "Show me where they go and I'll help you."

"That's not necessary, Harry. And not safe either," he smiled. "Some of Sherlock's experiments are a bit…um, volatile."

Harry grinned. "I know how that goes. Kreacher avoids Luna's workroom like the plague. Luckily she's left the kitchen alone though. Kreacher and Winky would mutiny if she messed with their kitchen."

"Sherlock's not trained that well yet."

"I'm not trained at all, John." Sherlock called out from the other room. "Wait! That's not what I meant to say!"

John and Harry snickered in the kitchen as Harry grabbed the kettle and filled it while John put away the groceries. "It's all right, Sherlock Holmes," Luna consoled him. "I don't consider myself trained either. Training is for dogs; we are people not dogs."

John looked around the parlour after he and Harry had put the groceries away and started the kettle. "Anyone care to tell me why I feel like I've walked back into the war?" He glanced at Sherlock but he didn't look guilty which meant he hadn't offended anyone yet. Had he said or done something he wouldn't feel remorse but he would at least look a bit guilty when John caught his eye if only because he knew his actions would have disappointed him.

Luna laughed so loudly at John's question that everyone stared at her for a moment except Harry and Teddy who were used to her sudden bouts of hilarity. "John, this is Hermione," Harry told him after Luna had abruptly stopped laughing.

Hermione stood and shook his hand silently. She was still reeling from the knowledge that one of her idols believed Luna, of all people, over her.

"And that," Harry nodded his head towards where Teddy still lay on top of Sherlock intently staring at the ceiling. "Is your nephew, Edward Remus Lupin, or Teddy."

Teddy turned away from the ceiling for a moment and waved half-heartedly at John. Sherlock tightened his arms around the boy and scowled before his expression brightened. "If he's your nephew and you're my blogger then that means that I have equal share in Teddy," he announced firmly. "Good. You can have him when we're done looking for Light Warblers…maybe. Do you like experiments, Teddy?"

"No!" John and Hermione yelled out together. Harry and Luna grinned indulgently. Teddy twisted his head about to look into Sherlock's eyes and smiled with a nod.

"Sherlock," John said in a dangerous voice before Hermione could begin her own rant at his flatmate. "You are not experimenting on my nephew. You are not exposing my nephew to any poisonous materials and you are not showing him dead body parts."

Sherlock looked affronted. "I wouldn't experiment _on_ Teddy. Well, nothing harmful anyway." He gave John a fierce frown. "I thought we'd collect some of the Light Warbler's dust and look at it through the microscope. Then we could collect some other dust and compare them."

John flushed a bit in shame. "Sorry Sherlock." Then he blinked and gave Sherlock a hard look. "Any experiments involving Teddy in any capacity have to be cleared by his guardian or Harry though, deal?"

"Fine," Sherlock said sulkily. "Does that take care of your objections, Miss…?" He stopped realizing that she had never actually included her last name. The small diamond on her finger told him she was getting married soon and that her fiancé was either poor or a pinchpenny. Either or those or she was a pinchpenny which seemed far more likely. She took no pride in the ring as she hadn't even looked at it a single time while they'd been conversing.

"Granger." Hermione supplied quickly. "Soon to be Mrs. Weasley but you may call me Hermione if you wish. And no! You cannot own another person, Mr. Holmes. Surely you know this!"

Sherlock gave her a blank look and John chuckled. "Actually, Miss Granger, he didn't know that. Now he does. Though I don't doubt he'll delete the information soon enough. Besides that wasn't what he meant, anyway."

"What did he mean then?" Hermione asked heatedly. "I assure you I am neither a fool nor an idiot. I can understand the English language quite well."

John shrugged a bit and smiled fixedly. "Who knows with Sherlock but I'd think it would be something along the lines of Teddy belonging with both of us as well as his grandmother and Harry."

"That's the exact same thing!" Hermione declared loudly with a militant light in her eyes.

"Is it?" Harry asked calmly, coming to John's rescue. "So you don't belong with Ron then?"

Hermione flushed. "Of course I do…I just don't think a child can make the kind of commitment an adult can. Even then belonging and owning are two different things."

"I'll be sure to tell your children you said that," Luna giggled.

"The point is moot anyway as I only said that we would share Teddy and I know very well that one can share people. I share John with his job and his girlfriends all the time, even when I would rather not." Sherlock cut in. "You have no say in the matter, anyway. You are neither Teddy's relation by blood nor in any way responsible for him. He has also made his feelings on the subject quite plain." He ruffled the black hair that looked exactly like his own. "How did he do that by the way?" He directed the question to Harry and Luna.

"Teddy's a metamorphagus," Luna answered.

"And what does that mean?" Sherlock questioned when it was apparent that was all the information Luna was going to divulge.

"It's a genetic condition in which a witch or wizard has the capability of morphing their appearance to match that of another _homo sapien_." Hermione said quickly as though to prove her intelligence. "It's actually more technical than that but I think that describes the ability closely enough. And I doubt either of you would understand the magical theory."

Sherlock gave her a fierce scowl for the slight but let John handle her.

"Mmm," John neither agreed nor disagreed and cleared his throat. "So would it be possible to move on to why you need Sherlock's help?" He was interrupted by the kettle whistling. Harry again followed him into the kitchen and helped to prepare the tea. Once they were all settled with tea and biscuits in hand John looked expectantly at Luna and Harry.

"They want us to search out a creature called a Crumple Horned Snorkack." Sherlock told him in a serious voice. John raised an eyebrow but Sherlock had already turned his attention back to Harry and Luna. "If you would be so kind as to show us what one looks like I'd be more than happy to find one for you."

Hermione huffed to herself but otherwise held her peace. There was no way she'd ever convince them that Crumple Horned Snorkacks didn't exist. They were all insane and there was nothing she could do about it. St. Mungo's refused to admit the savior or his wife and she had no authority over Sherlock and John. She couldn't admit them to the psychiatric ward.

John sat in his armchair and stared around at them all. "I've never even heard of the Crumple Horned Snorkack," he admitted slowly. "But then I haven't been part of the Wizarding World in a very long time. Where would we even begin to look?"

Luna looked down for a moment, her posture radiating sadness. "I've never actually seen one either," she admitted. "My father thought that maybe they were native to Sweden. We were supposed to go on a trip there but the war broke out and we never made it." She looked up and seemed to shake off her morose mood. "Daddy said they look a bit like a sheep only much smaller with a unicorn's horn but it's smashed down closer to their heads and doesn't come to a point."

Harry cleared his throat to gain their attention and give Luna a chance to collect and compose herself. "We realize that this case could take a very long time and take you all over the world. We are prepared to pay you a weekly sum in addition to any traveling expenses provided you allow us to accompany you when we can. We don't actually care how long it takes. We also know that you are a very busy man at times and that there will be periods where our case has to take a back burner to others. That is also fine with us and won't change the sum we give you weekly at all."

Sherlock waved a hand at him. "Finances are John's department. Discuss that with him. Of course you are welcome to travel with us, if we find the need to. Probably will at that. If the Snorkack was native to the U.K. then you'd already know where to find it and wouldn't need us. Perhaps America. They've all sorts of strange and interesting things on the other side of the Pond."

"This is madness!" Hermione could hold her indignation in no longer. "Utter madness. Harry, you are throwing your money away! You and Luna are wasting Mr. Holmes's time and your own. Snorkacks don't exist! They're a fantasy! You have got to stop this insanity! No one will ever see you as a credible, reliable person again if you insist on this folly!"

"You mean they see me as a believable, reputed member of the community now?" Harry asked in a surprised tone. Then he waved a hand and shook his head. "That'll change soon enough," he said very quietly.

"Well," Hermione began uncomfortably; she hadn't heard his last comment. "There are a few with questions since you married Luna and there will be even more questioning your sanity when they find out about this silly search. Not to mention what they'll say when they find out that you're involving a muggle!"

Harry shrugged. "They've been wondering about me since before I was eleven, Hermione. Why should I care what they think?"

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed. "How are you ever going to join the Aurors or get any other job if the people in charge of hiring you think you're insane? That money won't last forever!"

Harry shrugged again. "I'd like to know how Luna and I can spend over a billion galleons in one lifetime. Especially when the interest alone accrues nearly a million galleons a quarter. I'm not going to get a real job, Hermione. No one would hire Harry Potter. They all want The-Man-Who-Conquered. I won't trade on my so-called fame that way."

Hermione sighed heavily. "Harry, you. Cannot. Go. Off. Searching. For. A. Mythical. Creature."

Sherlock rolled his eyes and then held his breath as another ray of sunlight lit the room. He and Teddy ignored the rest of the conversation as they searched the shaft of sunlight for the elusive Light Warblers.

"Why is it insanity and why can't he go off to find the Snorkack?" John asked Hermione with a mildly reproachful look.

"They don't exist!" Hermione screeched. "And he has responsibilities here that he shouldn't just leave to other people. Teddy needs a father figure and Ron needs someone to talk to and George needs someone to help out in the store. There are lots of people depending on Harry and they can't afford for him to just swan off to who knows where whenever he feels like it."

Luna gave her a sad glance and knelt beside Teddy and Sherlock to watch the Light Warblers. Sherlock scooted over so that she could lay beside them without even really paying attention to what he was doing. His entire being was caught up in the sparkles and dust motes dancing in the air.

"How do you know they don't exist?" John questioned. Ignoring the bit about the responsibilities, though he couldn't figure out how anything beyond Teddy and Luna was really Harry's problem. He didn't know any of them well enough to say that Harry was or was not needed by so many people. "Do you really think that some scientist just stumbled over the skeleton of a dinosaur and knew immediately what it was? Maybe the Snorkack is the same thing."

Hermione flushed, crossed her arms over her chest and refused to answer. She only glared at everyone around her before staring out the window and ignoring them. She couldn't believe they weren't listening to her. She knew that John had a valid point but she still couldn't bring herself to acknowledge it or believe in a being that no one had ever heard of except Luna. It had to be a fantasy.

John shrugged nonchalantly; he was too used to being pointedly ignored by a master at the craft to let this chit's attempt bother him. Instead he turned to Harry. "Finances?"

Harry quickly swallowed the biscuit he'd been munching on and nodded. "How's six hundred pounds a week?"

John's jaw dropped for a moment. "Too…" He swallowed. "Too much, Harry. Far too much."

Harry shrugged, a smirk playing about his lips. "I can go higher," he pointed out. "I'm not much of one for bartering. Take the six hundred a week or I'll put even more in your bank account without consulting you. The goblins have communications with Muggle banks and they like me. They say I have the spirit of a warrior and the heart of a banker. I'm not sure that's a compliment unless it's coming from a goblin though."

John's eyes widened; he knew enough about Harry and his father to know that Harry was completely serious. "Fine," he capitulated. "Only because I know you'll follow through with that threat if I don't."

Harry gave him a mischievous grin. "Yep! Really though," he said more seriously. "You'll earn every pence of it. Luna and I will also expect you and Sherlock to babysit Teddy occasionally. You are his uncle." He knew that would most likely grab John's interest. The man had been devastated by his brother's death even if they hadn't been close at the end and John hadn't even known of Teddy's existence before Harry had informed him.

"You say that like watching John's nephew is such a chore," Sherlock said suddenly from the couch. "We'll simply set him on the sofa and then we'll never hear another peep out of him." He nodded to himself. Teddy had been very well behaved so far and hadn't squirmed on his chest at all. He'd been completely enraptured by the search for the Light Warblers.

"I be good for Unca John and Mr. Sh'lock, Unca Harry, I promise," Teddy spoke up and stared earnestly at Harry. He clutched Sherlock's arm in his hands as though afraid he would suddenly be swept away.

"You should really run this by Andromeda before you start farming her grandson out, Harry," Hermione interrupted severely. She had turned her attention away from the window when Harry had offered Teddy as a bargaining chip for John to take the outrageous sum of money. "She may not want Dr. Watson and Mr. Holmes around her grandson." She frowned at the other occupants of the room. Andromeda was a sensible woman, she would see that chasing after mythical creatures and exposing her grandson to the people who would be taken in by such nonsense was a bad idea.

"Why would she object?" Sherlock wondered aloud. "John's a perfectly normal, boring doctor. And I might be a sociopath but I'm not that bad. We wouldn't allow anything too horrible to happen to Teddy. Or anything horrible at all, really. I'll keep the body parts in their various hiding places. Though, I don't see why he would mind them. Death is a part of life and my experiments assist in finding cause and reactions and maybe in finding cures to various diseases."

John snorted in laughter. Harry gave him a disbelieving look and even Luna slanted him a knowing glance. None of them believed his intentions with the toe nails and fingers and heads were honorable. He needed to stop surrounding himself with smarter than average people.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand," Hermione said dismissively with a slight sneer. "It's a Wizarding thing."

To Sherlock's astonishment, Luna gasped, John flushed with shame and Harry's countenance hardened to stone. Seeing the boy/man like this he could completely see why he was called The-Man-Who-Conquered. There was an aura of danger and menace around the seemingly gentle young man that had even Sherlock mentally taking a step away in case that anger was directed at him.

"I cannot believe that you, of all people, just said that, Hermione." Harry rose to his feet, his own sneer in place. Then his head turned and he gave Luna a soft smile though his eyes never lost the hardness of flint. "Lunalove, make sure Teddy gets home safely, won't you? I'll meet you back at the house. John, Sherlock, I'll be by sometime tomorrow or the next day with the contract for the weekly sum. Thank you for the tea." He grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her from her chair. "You and I are going to have a little chat, Hermione," his tone was as hard as his eyes.

"Let me go, Harry," Hermione struggled in his grip. "You're hurting me." Her brown eyes were wide and not a little shocked.

"I'm not," Harry disagreed and dragged her to the door. He pushed her out onto the landing ahead of him over her protests. Everyone in the room could tell that while he wasn't hurting her at all she was shocked and disconcerted by his behavior. "That's enough!" They heard him tell her firmly as he shut the door behind them. They heard a loud crack and then silence.

"Unca Harry mad." Teddy observed. "Cuz Auntie Herminny mean to Unca John and Mr. Sh'lock."

"Mmm," Sherlock hummed. "But what did she say to make him so angry?"

"She implied that as you and John have no magic you wouldn't be able to understand something and that Gran Andi wouldn't let you be around Teddy because you might take his magic." Luna said in a serious tone for the first time in Sherlock's hearing.

"Is that possible?" Sherlock asked.

Luna shook her head. "You couldn't take it and neither could John. Harrymine might be able to do it if he could find a spell for it or a ritual but he wouldn't." She sighed. "I can't believe Hermione said something so very mean. I have known her to have the ability to be very blind and cruel at times but that was…well, for her that was very bad."

"Why?" John asked. "It's not like I haven't heard worse."

"Hermione's a Muggleborn." To Luna that was enough of an explanation and Sherlock nodded thoughtfully. John merely raised an eyebrow. While some muggleborns integrated themselves into wizarding society they rarely became so bigoted.

"Drat!" Luna exclaimed moments later. "I just had the most extraordinary idea and Harrymine's gone."

"What idea?" Sherlock asked quietly. Any idea was a good one if it got that look off of John's face. Hermione Granger had hurt his John. That was unacceptable and if he ever saw the snide, bitter woman again he would make sure she knew it. Idiot woman!

"We should ask the Loch Ness Monster if she knows where to find the Crumple Horned Snorkack." Luna's voice was forced brightness but John's countenance lightened anyway.

"The Loch Ness Monster is real?" Sherlock blinked at her processing this information. "Oh, of course, it's a water dragon." John couldn't stop his grin at the thought of seeing a dragon, a real dragon for the first time.

"Very good." Luna praised. "She is indeed."

"Talk it over with Harry and maybe we'll go next week," John said eagerly. Then his expression darkened a bit. "You should probably take Teddy home now, Luna."

"Don't let what Hermione said bother you, John," Luna patted his arm. "Gran Andi is a very wonderful woman and she has no prejudices against Muggles or Squibs. Her husband was a Muggleborn and they lived in the Muggle World for years. They only left because Tonks couldn't control her shifting. Gran Andi will be perfectly fine with you and Sherlock watching Teddy sometimes."

"I hope you're right." Though he didn't sound as though he believed his own words.


	5. The Loch Ness Monster One: Leave Taking

**Disclaimer: Sooooo, the middle of the Aegean Sea is as empty as the name implies. There is no Mt. Olympus there. Darn it! The fishermen that gave me a ride suggested I try the actual Mt. Olympus. Personally I'd thought that was a bit too obvious but as I'm bored and have no other leads I'll go there and look for clues. Until then the characters are still not mine. And I'm still poor so it's going to take me a while to get there.**

**A/N: And now we get to the good stuff. I apologize for there not being more chapters posted during this Sunday Blitz but it's been an off week. Hey at least the chapters themselves are longer right?**

**The Loch Ness Monster**

**Chapter One: Leave Taking**

**Chapter Summary: And so they are finally off on an adventure. Will someone interfere and stop them leaving? And why is John sleeping?**

"John! Wake up!" Sherlock pounced energetically on his friend's sleeping form in a flying leap from the door. "We're leaving today and you're not packed! Get up!"

John batted a slow, ineffectual hand at his flatmate cum best friend. "C'n pa' later!" He claimed sleepily. "'M shleepin' now." He buried his head farther into the pillow and away from Sherlock.

"Ja-a-a-wn!" Sherlock whined and rolled off of John's back to lie beside him, pushing on his shoulder in an effort to get the other man moving. "They'll be here in five hours. You have to pack!"

John, still more asleep than awake, turned over towards Sherlock and wrapped his arms around his chest, pulling him close. "'S early. Go ta shleep," he ordered. "Pa' later." He nuzzled his nose into the side of Sherlock's neck, sighed deeply and let sleep take him back under.

Sherlock blinked up at the ceiling. This was an interesting development. John was holding him like a teddy bear and he found that instead of being uncomfortable or irritated he only felt warm and now that John had mentioned it, it was early. Really, the sun hadn't even come up yet. The warmth of John's arms around him was making him just a bit tired. Where was the harm in just closing his eyes for a few minutes? Sherlock snuggled down next to John, closed his eyes and let the soft sound of John's breathing lull him to sleep.

SH/JW SH/JW SH/JW

It was so warm. So warm and so very comfortable. That was his first thought upon waking. John fluttered his eyes open in confusion, unaccustomed to this level of comfortableness while waking.

Feeling an unexpected weight on his arm he carefully turned his head. John's mouth dropped open in silent shock. Sherlock had invaded his bed sometime in the night and was hugging John's arm to his chest and using his upper bicep as a pillow. John tried to find some kind of irritation at Sherlock's utterly unbelievable lack of concern for other people's privacy but really couldn't.

Sherlock looked at home sleeping beside him and impossibly innocent. He mentally gave a philosophical shrug. At least the other man was sleeping. Sherlock tended to go until his body dropped where he was standing so finding him sleeping peacefully without the inducement of being completely exhausted was a nice surprise.

His eyes roamed the room until they fell on the small alarm clock he kept for those days when Sherlock didn't wake him with an explosion or the violin or banging about on the stairs. Those days were rare but they did happen.

7:29 a.m. Harry and Luna would be there in an hour and a half! He hadn't packed yet! He'd been intending to get up early this morning and do what little packing was needed. Harry had said that he would take care of the arrangements and all they needed were toiletries and clothing. Another thought hit him. Had Sherlock packed? Bloody Hell! They were going to be late!

He must have made some movement or sound of surprise because the grip on his arm tightened, Sherlock's head pressed farther into his bicep and Sherlock made a snuffling noise. John turned his head again to look at Sherlock just as the other man's eyes opened. "You made me fall asleep," he accused John mildly in a sleep roughened voice.

"Did I?" John asked, bemused. He had no memory of Sherlock coming into his room or in fact anything except sleeping.

"Yes," Sherlock nodded decisively. "I came in to wake you up to pack and you snuggled against me and made me warm and comfortable and told me to go to sleep."

"Sorry?" John said uncertainly. Was Sherlock angry about the events he had no memory of? It was too bad, really. If it was that easy to get Sherlock to sleep then he'd like to try it again. Unfortunately, that didn't seem likely to happen.

Sherlock waved his apology away. "You were asleep and therefore not responsible for you actions." Then he frowned. "Though you could have warned me that you liked to cuddle in your sleep."

"You couldn't deduce that for yourself?" John asked with a small chuckle.

Sherlock's frown deepened. "No," he said shortly. "I knew that your temperature would rise while you slept but I didn't know that you liked to hold someone or that your arm would be so comfortable. It really does make a good pillow."

"Alright then," John nodded and grinned. He looked down at the arm Sherlock was still clutching to his chest. "Mind letting me go? It's only that I still have to pack, Sherlock."

Sherlock followed John's gaze with confusion and then slight shock. His grip tightened reflexively and then loosened slowly. John wondered what was going through that great brain of his. "Very well," he finally said in a grumpy tone. He looked over at the clock and nearly pushed John from the bed. "Hurry up! They'll be here in an hour and you haven't packed or dressed or eaten! You pack and I'll make you some tea and toast." He jumped up from the bed and raced towards the door.

"Try not to burn my toast this time, please?" John rolled the rest of the way off the bed and stood smoothly.

"Of course," Sherlock's voice floated back to him from the stairs. "It isn't my fault the toaster doesn't like me." His tone was petulant.

John snorted. "That could be because you tried to use it to toast toes last month," he said to himself. Leaving Sherlock to fight with the toaster he ignored the bangs from downstairs and gathered up the clothes he wanted to take to Loch Ness.

"Finally," Sherlock expelled loudly when John made it to breakfast fifteen minutes later. "Here," he shoved a plate towards John. "Toast," he paused and glared at the blackened lumps. "Well, it was supposed to be toast."

"Mmm," John hummed and took the plate. "Did you pack everything you wanted to take?"

"Yes, of course," Sherlock sniffed.

"Are you sure?" John needled, knowing Sherlock would think of something he wanted at the last minute.

Sherlock thought for a moment and then raced off while John laughed. John waited until he was positive that Sherlock was in his bedroom before chucking the ruined toast into the bin. The kettle whistled and John poured himself and Sherlock cups of tea. "Tea, Sherlock!" He called.

"You binned the toast, didn't you?" Sherlock said in his ear from right behind him.

"Christ!" John jumped and spun around. "Don't do that! And yes, how did you know?"

"Well you certainly didn't eat it. No crumbs on your shirt. So, you must have binned it. I suspected you would. It was inedible, after all."

John shook his head and handed Sherlock his tea. They sat across from each other sipping at their tea and waiting impatiently for Harry and Luna to arrive. Finally at five til nine a knock sounded downstairs. Sherlock bounded up out of his chair, ginning in excitement, threw open the door to their flat and almost threw himself down the stairs to answer it before Mrs. Hudson even had her door part way open. "Finally," Sherlock exclaimed, there was a sudden silence after his declaration and John had just about resolved himself to go check when Sherlock's cold, irritated voice floated back up to him. "Go away, Mycroft. You are not needed here."

John rose from the table and went to the door. He peeked around the frame but couldn't see anything except Sherlock's back. "Come now, Sherlock. Dr. Watson challenged me to actually observe Harry Potter. I would like to do so and find out what the two of you find so objectionable about the way he was raised." John heard Mycroft say. "And there is another matter I need to speak to him about."

"No," Sherlock said grumpily. "I won't allow you to upset him just before we leave. You are not going to meet him today. If you're nice I might allow it when we come back."

"Sherlock!" Mycroft said sharply and John heard the tap of his heel as he stepped towards the door. Sherlock moved to block him. "Let me in!"

Sherlock crossed his arms over his chest, back and shoulders tense. "No. Nope. Not happening." Sherlock shook his head vigorously.

"Sherlock," Mycroft started warningly. "There are matters I must discuss with him pertaining to the Statute of Secrecy and other such political dealings between our worlds. Do not allow our petty feud to come between Mr. Potter's need for privacy and the good of both our worlds."

"This has nothing to do with you and me, or our feud," Sherlock nearly growled. "Harry is becoming something along the lines of my friend and I will protect him. You can have nothing to say to him that is so important that I will lay aside his wishes."

"I simply must see him," Mycroft insisted.

"Then send him a message and ask to meet with him after we get back," Sherlock suggested. "There is no way I'm going to let you in to see him now."

"His homicidal rage has caused his government to find the need to obliviate an entire village!" John knew Mycroft was scowling and he couldn't believe Harry had done anything to cause what Mycroft claimed.

"Harrymine doesn't wear Homicidal Rage," Luna said from behind Mycroft. "He wears Resigned to Violence sometimes but I've only ever heard of him wearing Homicidal Rage once and even then he only had it on for a moment before he switched to Grief-Stricken to the Point of Madness."

Mycroft spun around, displaying his surprise for the first time in Sherlock's memory. He recovered quickly though. "Ah, Miss Lovegood. It is nice to see you again. I was quite dismayed when I heard the news of your father and you have my condolences. Are you going to be taking over his publication?"

Luna gave him a shrewd look. "You know very well that it is Mrs. Potter now, Mycroft Holmes. It's not so lovely to see you again. Daddy lived long enough to see me happily married which was all he wanted before he joined Mummy. And yes, Harrymine and I have resumed publishing The Quibbler as you should know since we sent you copies of the last four issues which we printed together."

Mycroft nodded. "Yes, quite. Where is your husband this lovely morning? I had expected him to be here."

"Hello Sherlock Holmes," she said brightly to Sherlock. "Hello John Watson," she called up the stairs. "Harrymine heard from our wyvern that Mycroft Holmes would be here and so we're to meet him at the Rookery." She turned those big, protuberant gray eyes on Mycroft. "If you will excuse us, Mycroft Holmes, we really must be going. Harrymine is waiting for us and we wouldn't want to miss our train."

Sherlock moved slightly to the side to allow Luna to squeeze past him. "I really must speak to Mr. Potter about the events in Little Hangleton last night." Mycroft said sharply.

Luna slowly turned to face him from the first step. "Why would you want to do that?" She asked shocked, though it was hard to tell with her normal expression being one of surprise. Only the slight change in her voice gave any indication that Mycroft's claim had surprised her.

"Because he caused an entire troop of obliviators to modify the memory of everyone in the village when he destroyed the Riddle House," Mycroft said exasperated. "The entire village saw it explode."

Luna tilted her head to the side. "Why would he do that?"

"What do you mean?" Mycroft spluttered.

"Harrymine hasn't been back to Little Hangleton since the one and only time he was there," Luna explained. "He has no interest in returning to the place where he was tortured, not even to destroy it. He told the Minister so when Kingsley Shacklebolt asked him to perform the spell to hide the graveyard and house as he's the only one powerful enough to do so."

Mycroft frowned disapprovingly at her. "You mean you are trying to tell me that Mr. Potter had nothing to do with a massive explosion in the gas lines around the Riddle House?"

Luna nodded and smiled brightly. "You really are very smart, Mycroft Holmes. Harrymine was home all night and the house elves will verify that should you wish it. He had a headache from dealing with Ron and Ginny yesterday and went to bed early. It was a very old house. And not in the best repair from what I've been told. Maybe it really was a gas line."

Mycroft looked at her assessing her veracity. "Fine," he bit out, knowing there was nothing more he could do to convince her. "Tell Mr. Potter I will expect to speak with him when you return."

"I will tell him," Luna promised. "I can't say that he'll see you; he doesn't like you, Mycroft Holmes. But I will tell him that you wish to speak with him."

"I suppose I must be satisfied with that," Mycroft nodded to her and turned back to the black car that had brought him. "A, make sure to up the cameras on 221B Baker Street until my brother and Dr. Watson return." He said loud enough for the others to hear.

"Yes sir," floated out from the depths of the car.

Mycroft gave his brother one last, long, irritated look and then stepped into the car. Sherlock watched impassively as it drove off down the street and then turned and bounded up the stairs.


	6. The Rookery

**Disclaimer: Landed in Kymi and started north. Caught a ride with an olive farmer to Psachna. Not bad but a bit of a bumpy ride. Stayed the night in Psachna and will head our north today. As I still haven't found Eros Sherlock and the others still belong to BBC, for now.**

**A/N: I know they still haven't actually started out. I told you all I get wordy. I promise they, at the very least, make it to the train in this chapter. And this is the last chapter of the Sunday Blitz. See you all next week, hope you have a good one.**

**The Loch Ness Monster**

**Chapter Two: **

**The Rookery**

**Chapter Summary: Sherlock and John are swept away to the Rookery. They meet Andromeda Tonks and head off to Scotland and The Loch Ness Monster.**

Sherlock flung the door to the flat against the wall in his exuberance and grinned delightedly at Luna. "I have never seen my brother so irritated," he exclaimed. "Good job, Luna Potter!"

"I would say thank you, Sherlock Holmes," Luna gave him a bemused smile. "But I dislike irritating people. I much prefer to discombobulate them."

Sherlock's smile didn't dim a single iota. "You managed that as well," he assured her.

John groaned. "You know he's going to be impossible now, don't you? He already fears Harry and this will only make it worse. He'll have his cameras and his microphones all over the flat by the time we get back. And he'll put then in hard to find places and it'll be weeks before we get them all."

Sherlock waved his concerns away and went to fetch his supplies. "How are we getting to where we're meeting Harry?" He called from his bedroom.

"Bring your luggage to the parlour and I shall show you," Luna called back. "You as well, John. While you're doing that I'm going to watch the Light Warblers." Without waiting for either man to answer she strode to the sofa and flopped down on it on her back her eyes already trained on the shafts of sunlight streaming through the window.

John shook his head fondly and traipsed up the stairs to collect his suitcase.

"Luna?" Sherlock asked quietly once he'd gathered his things. "What do the Light Warblers look like? I keep thinking I can see them on the edge of my eyes but I can never catch them full on."

Luna scooted against the back of the sofa and motioned him over to lie beside her. "You see the sparkly places?" She asked once he was beside her. He nodded. "That's the Light Warblers. They're very small and hard to spot unless the sun reflects off their tiny wings."

"Oh," Sherlock said simply. "I wonder why they're attracted to intelligence."

Luna shrugged lightly. "It's one of the questions I want to ask the Crumple Horned Snorkack when we find it."

"How would the Snorkack know?" Sherlock asked with genuine curiousity.

"Because the Crumpled Horned Snorkacks are the leaders of the Creature Kingdom," Luna explained. "They know everything about every magical creature that ever lived. And they should know quite a bit about the nonmagical creatures as well."

"So that's why you want to find one? To ask it about all the other creatures?"

"Not really. I want to find a Crumple Horned Snorkack because Daddy wanted to find one. It's the perfect way to honour his memory. He wanted to find one because Mummy wanted to find one and so if we find a Crumple Horned Snorkack then I'm honouring the memory of both my parents. I am fulfilling their legacy to me."

"Ah," Sherlock nodded. That made a bit of sense if one was ruled by sentiment. "Have you explained that to Hermione?"

Luna nodded slowly and from the corner of his eye Sherlock caught the sad frown. "Hermione is a being ruled by logic and books," Luna said on a sigh. "Whimsy and fantasy and imagination have no sway over her. It's sad really. Without imagination there can be no discovery, no excitement, nothing new."

Unable to comprehend his own actions Sherlock took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "When we find one then she'll believe."

Luna turned her head and stared at him with those dreamy eyes. "She may believe then but she will still rely on her logic and her books. She has no knowledge that is acquired herself. Only what other people have told her. Her outlook on life makes me sad." She turned her gaze back to the Light Warblers. "I still can't understand how she and Harry are such good friends. Harry is quite aware that belief and imagination make the world spin."

"What do you mean?" Sherlock asked as John came down the stairs. John leaned against the doorjamb having heard some of the conversation and interested in the answer. He couldn't quite understand why Harry and Hermione were friends either. Hermione was so uptight and argumentative and Harry was laid back.

Luna pondered for a moment how to put her thoughts into words. "Harry's home life when he was young left little room for imagination. When he returned to the Wizarding World he was prepared to believe anything was possible. His first classes at Hogwarts only enforced that belief. The fact that all of the adults around him lied to him almost constantly led him to wonder if they were also lying or misinformed about the limitations they placed on magic. Subconsciously, I think he has always believed that anything is possible. Anything at all. He will believe in the creatures I spout off about until they are proven not to exist. He will also not believe in any limitations on his magic. If he can think it he can do it and no one can tell him different." She giggled now. "Believe me many have tried to tell him that something is impossible but it's almost as if he doesn't hear them. He'll nod and make agreeing noises and then turn around and do whatever it is they say is impossible. It's very amusing sometimes."

"I can imagine," John chuckled. The two on the sofa turned their heads and smiled at him.

"Is that what happened with the reporter?" Sherlock asked her suddenly.

"Which time?"

"The coffee mug incident." Sherlock drawled. "Were there others?" He raised a dark brow at her.

Luna flushed faintly. "Oh, yes there were many others but the coffee mug was me. I told him that the mass ratio between a person and a coffee mug was too different for him to be able to transfigure an adult into a coffee mug no matter what that Auror from America told him. So he proved me wrong. How did you hear about it?"

Sherlock snickered. "You're married to him and you didn't know that was a bad idea? Mycroft told us as a warning to how dangerous your husband is."

"It was only for a few minutes. Harrymine would never have left me as a coffee mug forever." Luna protested. "I'd like to know where he gets his information. The only people there were Harry, me, our wyvern, Hedwig and Ginny…Oh! Ginny is such a gossip! Unless, of course the Nargles told him, but Mycroft Holmes doesn't strike me as someone who would listen to Nargles."

Sherlock sat up and then stood, offering his hand to Luna. "No, I don't think he is either. That means that it must have been this Ginny person." He meant to say more but there was a sudden light at the door and then a spectral stag trotted through the door.

The men watched in shock as it trotted up to Luna and opened its mouth. "Lunalove, my dearest, light of my life," it said with Harry's voice. "Stop watching the Light Warblers and get a move on. We're going to be late for the train."

Luna drew her wand, concentrated for a moment and then waved it in a slashing motion. "Expecto patronum," she incanted and a sheeplike creature burst forth from the tip of the wand. The stag and the creature nodded at each other and then the stag disappeared and the sheeplike creature glided through the door.

"What was that?" Sherlock finally breathed out.

"A patronus," Luna answered.

"I didn't think they could talk," John put in. "I thought they could only be used to scare off dementors and lethifolds."

"Patroni can be used for that," Luna confirmed. "They can also be used to pass messages but only if the caster has sufficient strength and mental control. They can also be used to lift minor depression as they are made of happy thoughts."

"Incredible," Sherlock breathed out.

"Is this one of the things that Harry was told couldn't be done?" John asked curiously.

Luna shook her head. "Professor Dumbledore figured out how to do it and taught a select few people. Harry simply saw it done once and decided that he could do it as well. He thinks it's not a matter of power but simply belief like most magic."

"We should probably go," John said. "Where are we going anyway?"

"The walls have noses and they will tell the Lanosrep Recrofne where we're going so I can't tell you," Luna said a bit too brightly for John's comfort.

"You mean ears?" Sherlock asked. "Or eyes, knowing Mycroft."

"I say what I mean and I mean what I say," Luna admonished. She took Sherlock's suitcase, put it in the middle of a clear space in the parlour and then did the same with John's. "An elephant is true, one hundred percent." She waved her wand over the luggage and with a pop it vanished.

"But you are not an elephant, Luna," Sherlock felt compelled to point out.

The blond woman cocked her head to the side. "Very true, Sherlock. Hmm, still I meant that the walls have noses and can smell out deception and so I will not tell you where we are until we are there." She grabbed his hand and then took John's in her other. "Now hold on tight, wouldn't want the Nips to take you in transit."

"What's a—" Sherlock question was never finished as he suddenly found himself spinning in a vortex of colours and sounds. Instinctively he held tight to Luna's hand in his and tried very hard not to be sick. In moments it was over and he found himself flat on his back on soft grass. "What the Hell was that?" He asked harshly as he attempted to regain his bearings before he even gave a thought to standing.

"A portkey," John groaned from a few feet away. "One of the worst possible ways to travel in the Wizarding World."

"There are others just as bad?" Sherlock sounded faintly alarmed.

"Yes," John said as he climbed to his feet. "Believe it or not some of them are worse than what you just experienced."

"Harrymine can't stand portkeys either," Luna bounced to her feet. "So you are not alone. Though, his abhorrence of portkeys has more to do with bad memories than the actual feeling of travel."

"Isn't the travel itself enough?" Sherlock asked, still blinking up at the blue sky above him.

A sun-browned male hand appeared between him and the sunlit sky. "Yes," Harry's voice said. "But when you add in Death Eaters, Voldemort, caves full of inferi and obsessed fans and rabid reporters on the other end of various portkeys then the disorientation and nauseating spinning of the travel itself kind of pales in comparison."

"Something bad happens to Harry every time he uses a portkey," an older woman said as Harry hefted Sherlock to his feet. "You were right, Harry. John doesn't look much like Remus but the resemblance is there if you know what to look for." A middle-aged woman approached the four and held out her hand to John. "I'm Andromeda Tonks. Teddy's grandmother and I guess that would make me your mother by marriage." She shrugged complacently. "Doesn't matter much," John hesitantly shook her hand and she moved on to Sherlock while she continued to speak. "It does mean that you are both a part of the family and I, for one, am very happy to have you both. None of us have any other family besides each other so the more the merrier." Sherlock shook her hand and gave her a polite smile.

"Mr. Sh'lock, Unca John!" Teddy cried as he ran from the house and straight into John's arms. "I wanted to say hi! I staying with Gramma this time, but Unca Harry says maybe I can come too next time! Can I?"

John scooped the boy up into his arms. "We'll see. It depends on where we're going and what your grandmother says."

Sherlock tuned them out and stared in appalled amazement at the strange house before him. Well, he thought it was a house but he couldn't be sure. It was very tall and looked almost like a chess rook except that the entire top seemed to have been blown off. "You live here?" He asked Harry quietly.

Harry affected a hurt look as he looked from Sherlock to the house and back. "You don't like it?" His voice was pained.

"So you don't live here then?" Sherlock sneered at him. "You have London dirt on your shoes and the smell of the city on your clothes. I had wondered when I saw this place how you could have evidence of living in London all over you and still live in the country."

"Well," Harry laughed. "It is a mystery. Truthfully, though, Luna and I are thinking about rebuilding this place. It is her childhood home. It doesn't deserve to be left in such disrepair. I own a few other properties but they haven't been lived in since before I was born. I haven't made a tour of them yet, though I should."

"Why haven't you?" John asked.

"Because he's scared," Andi teased. "He's afraid there will be portraits of his ancestors and they'll dislike him."

Harry scowled. "Can you really blame me, Gran Andi? Blood relations and I aren't very good together."

Sherlock snorted derisively. "You don't have Mycroft for a brother," he refuted.

Harry looked at him sharply and then his expression cleared. "True. Someday I'll have to take you to meet my relatives. It's only fair. I have met your brother."

"Mmm," was Sherlock's only comment. He looked forward to the meeting actually. He wasn't a man prone to violence, he left that to John, but in this instance he'd make an exception.

"You lot had better get going before one of Molly's brood decide to take a walk this way and spot you," Andi said. "Are you apparating them to the station, Harry?"

Harry nodded. "I've already taken the luggage to our compartment and warded it from anyone wanting to interfere."

"Do I want to know why that would be necessary?" John asked as he set Teddy back on the ground. The little boy flung himself at Sherlock and Sherlock swung him up and around delighting in the child's laughter.

"Probably not," Harry said cheerfully. "Say your good byes, Teddy. We need to go." Sherlock scowled but set the boy back on the ground. "Bye Gran Andi, we'll message you when we get to Loch Ness."

"You had better, Harry!" The woman shook her finger and then hugged first Harry and then Luna. "And let me know if Nessie knows where to find a Crumple Horned Snorkack."

"We will," Harry gave Teddy a hug and then stood and held his hands out to John and Sherlock. "Grab on. This will be slightly unpleasant. Meet us there, Lunalove."

"Another portkey?" Sherlock sounded both eager and dismayed. Luna nodded, kissed Harry's cheek and disappeared with a crack. "Is that what it sounds like when the portkey activates?"

Sherlock thought that Harry's grin looked just a little bit evil. "No, that's the displacement of the air when someone apparates. Now, take my hand and hold on tight, wouldn't want to splinch you."

"I'm not going to like this, am I?" Sherlock asked even as he and John took Harry's hands in their own. "What is splinching?"

Harry didn't answer and Sherlock suddenly felt as though his entire body was being squeezed through some kind of tube. He nearly panicked as he couldn't quite catch his breath and then it was over. He drew a deep gasping breath of air and heard John moan. "I hate apparating," Harry said quietly. "I wouldn't have forced you two to do that if we weren't late. Both of you in one piece?"

"I never want to do that again," Sherlock moaned. "Can't magical people come up with a better way to travel?"

"There's always shadow walking but that's illegal in the U.K.," Harry told them. "Floo is just as bad as a portkey. Broom riding is great for short distances."

"Harrymine," Luna's head poked out of a window on the train. "Over here," she waved at them. "Hurry the station is infested with the Eyes of Red Mater. We have to keep a look out for the oldest female. The ticket salesman is her cousin."

Harry's eyes widened and he immediately herded John and Sherlock on board the train. He breathed a sigh of relief as the door shut behind them. Outside they could all hear a woman yelling his name and even though he knew she couldn't see him he cringed back into the shadows of the corner of the compartment.


	7. Conversations on a Train

**Disclaimer: Soooo Velestino? Gorgeous, simply gorgeous. Empty of Greek gods or London police detectives but I guess you can't have everything. I'll find both eventually. Sherlock and co. are not mine and I make no money off these amusing little stories.**

**A/N: Chapter one of the Sunday Blitz. Hope you like it. Let me know.**

**The Loch Ness Monster**

**Chapter Three: Conversations on a Train**

**Chapter Summary: What do the interesting conversations always happen while travelling? Sherlock and John meet Kreature and learn a bit more about Harry and Luna.**

"The eyes of red mater?" Sherlock asked as the train began to move. "Care to explain?"

Luna shrugged lightly and tried to pull Harry out of the corner but he wouldn't budge. "If you ever meet the Weasley's you'll understand a bit better. Come on, Harrymine, you've warded the compartment. There's no way the Eyes can find you here and you know it." She finally gave up when he crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine then. Be overly dramatic."

John and Sherlock turned to look closer at Harry and found him scowling at the buildings that were passing faster and faster outside the window. "Should we be worried about these eyes?" John asked.

Luna gave him a small smile. "Not now. No matter what Harrymine thinks, the mother cannot fly without a broom nor can she run fast enough to catch this train."

"I know that," Harry grumbled. "But one of her many relatives may have snuck on the train before it left the station." He pushed himself farther back into the shadows until he nearly disappeared from sight. "My ears are still ringing from the last time she thinks she saw me and I didn't respond to her."

Luna pulled his hand from the shadows and held it in her own. "Howlers are a vile creation."

"What's a Howler?" Sherlock asked.

"They're letters that yell in the sender's voice," John told him. "I've only ever received one."

The buildings of London were merely a blur now. Harry leaned forward a bit. "Who sent you a Howler? I can't imagine anyone in your family would do that. Remus despised them."

A smile appeared on John's lips, almost of its own volition. "Your father, actually. Though your mother put her two pence in."

Interested, as always in stories about his parents, Harry leaned fully out of the shadows. "Why on earth would my parents send you a Howler?"

"They wanted me to know that they were very displeased that I'd missed their engagement party and to tell me that no excuses would be accepted if I had the temerity to miss the wedding." John chuckled a little. "Your mother could yell, I tell you. Your father didn't yell but that was almost worse."

Harry grinned back. "Harrymine yells." Luna told them with a small shudder. "It's loud. Very loud and scary."

Harry squeezed her hand. "I've only ever yelled at you once, Lunalove. I'm not sorry for it, you know."

Luna waved her free hand through the air. "Oh, I know. I deserved a scolding."

"What did you do?" Sherlock asked.

"Nearly blew up the house," Luna confessed. "I was making potions and got distracted by a Blibbering Humdinger and left it to boil over. Harrymine caught it before it did more than melt the table. Still he was very angry with me. He yelled for a whole five minutes and fumed at me for an hour or so. Now he makes sure Winky keeps an eye on me when I'm brewing."

Harry grinned suddenly. "I had nothing to do with that. Winky watches you on her own. She loves you and doesn't want you hurt."

"Who's—" Sherlock's question was cut off by a popping sound and a greenish gray creature with floppy ears and huge gray eyes appeared.

"Master Harry," the creature croaked out and held out a long spindly arm with a letter in its four fingers. "The bald one left this for you." He passed over the letter and glared at Sherlock and John. "Muggles," it spat. "Master shouldn't be consorting with Muggles."

"Kreature," Harry said in a warning tone.

"These aren't just any Muggles though, Kreature," Luna cut him off. "This is Teddy's uncle and The Great Sherlock Holmes."

Kreature eyed them speculatively. "Little Master's blood kin?" He frowned in thought. "And the Great Master Holmes? The one that can tell a witch or wizard from sight?"

"Yes," Luna nodded encouragingly.

"What stories have you been telling our family, Lunalove?" Harry laughed a little.

"I haven't told Kreature and Winky any stories," Luna objected. "I've only ever told them the truth. I never make up stories, Harrymine."

Kreature looked hard at Sherlock. "You're not a Muggle." He stated knowledgably. "You have magic blood but you can't use it. Or you can but not the way witches and wizards can. You are special, Sherlock Holmes."

Sherlock stared into those large grey eyes. "Thank you." He said finally in a strange tone. "I understand now." Kreature nodded and disappeared with a pop.

"What do you understand, Sherlock Holmes?" Luna asked him.

John and Harry watched the two with shocked looks.

Sherlock blinked. "The same thing you do, Luna Potter," he told her and wouldn't say anymore. Luna smiled dreamily and nodded. "What did he give you?"

Harry looked down at the letter he'd forgotten about. "A letter from the Minister of Magic."

Sherlock scowled. "You weren't even in the same county," he declared. "Mycroft needs to keep his nose out. What does it say?"

Harry gave him a confused look and tore open the letter. "What are you talking about?" He asked vaguely as he read.

"Riddle's house blew up last night," John informed him. "Mycroft has been convinced that you did it."

"Mmm," Harry hummed his attention on the letter.

"Well," Sherlock pressed as Harry stayed silent even after his eyes had stopped moving over the letter.

Harry blinked and looked up at him. "What?" He frowned. "Oh. I wasn't there and I don't know where Mycroft gets his information but it certainly isn't from Kingsley. He's asking me to investigate the explosion."

"Maybe he's trying to lure you into a false sense of security." Sherlock suggested.

Harry shook his head. "No, not Kingsley."

Luna giggled. "He's dependent on Harrymine."

"What do you mean?" John asked.

"Here I'll read you his letter and then you'll understand." Harry told them. He opened the letter again and then started to read it aloud.

_Harry,_

_I know that you're off on some trip with Luna but I really need your help on this one. _

_Last night the Riddle house exploded and the Muggle authorities cannot find the cause. The obliviators took care of things and now they think it's a gas line leak. _

_I know that after what happened to you there that you have no desire to go anywhere near the place and I promise it's the last time I'll ask for you to do this. But, I really need you. None of my investigators can find a cause for the explosion. I don't think they're looking very hard though. No one cares about an old Muggle house that belonged to the father of the worst Dark Lord in the last century._

_Please Harry?_

_Kingsley Shacklebolt_

_Minister of Magic_

"He's desperate, again." Harry sighed and looked torn.

"No," Luna said suddenly. "You are not going to cancel our trip to investigate a gas line leak that lead to an explosion. That house was old and uncared for. The pipes and lines and things were rusted and let in an Ullirg that sparked and caused the explosion."

"I wasn't intending to help out, Lunalove. Kingsley keeps asking for my help on everything. He needs to learn to stand on his own two feet if he expects to stay Minister. I can't help him all the time. I have my own life to lead."

Luna smiled again. "Good. It's about time you realize that." She turned to look out the window at the buildings that were slowly lessening. They were moving out of the city now and into the countryside. She settled back into her seat, knowing that the ride would be long. Scotland and Loch Ness were a long way off.

"How are we going to find the Loch Ness Monster?" John asked a few minutes later. "I know it's a Water Dragon but it's never actually been spotted that I know of. Not for real anyway."

"We'll figure it out when we get there," Harry said vaguely.

"So we're off with no plan whatsoever?" Sherlock squawked.

"Mmhm," Harry nodded and smiled brightly. "Any plan I make seems to fall apart halfway through so I've stopped making them."

"That's…" Sherlock paused.

"Clever," John grinned.

"Is it? How is it clever? Why is it clever?" Sherlock burst out. "I don't see why it's clever. I think it's idiotic."

"It's clever because it leaves room for change, Sherlock," John shook his head. "And I'll bet that Luna has a plan."

Luna turned her eyes from the window but not her face, so that she was looking at them from the corner of her eye. She smiled dreamily and then shifted her eyes back to the window again.

**A/N: I'm going to cut this chapter off here. I've written it at least five different times and I'm still not happy with it. Oh well. And I'm starting the next chapter with them at the campsite. Hope you enjoyed the chapter anyway.**


	8. Camping

**Disclaimer: Ah, Larissa, I think I'll stay here an extra day. Still no Eros. Did you really expect there to be? I'm nearly convinced that the Greek gods are no longer in Greece. I'll still head for Mt. Olympus though. It only makes sense to check all possible leads. Characters are still not mine and I own nothing…well except a computer.**

**A/N: I had originally expect the Loch Ness Monster to only last a chapter or two and it's now up to at least five, probably more. Gah! Good thing you all like it. Especially my Becca as this is her story. I'm also revising all of my stories so the rest of the Blitz will be The Great Coffee Quest which was inspired by my son so have a look at the new chapters. See you later!**

**The Loch Ness Monster**

**Chapter Four: Camping**

**Chapter Summary: Sherlock's never been camping. John discovers the benefits of Wizard Tents. Luna is amused and Harry exasperated. Fun times await.**

Sherlock eyed the tent Luna and Harry had erected with some trepidation. He'd never been camping before and he wasn't all together sure he wanted to now. He should never have agreed to allow Harry and Luna to make the travel arrangements. Why would someone willingly sleep in such a flimsy piece of construction? "Are you sure this is safe?" He asked.

John had the gall to laugh at his words, Luna gave him one of her vague dreamy smiles and Harry snorted with mirth. "I can't believe you just asked that," John gasped out.

"What?" Sherlock asked in a harsh voice. "It's a completely accurate question! What if there are animals in these woods. Tigers or bears or snakes or mice? And what if it rains? How will we stay dry?"

Harry snickered now. "You've never been camping have you, Sherlock?" He moved to stand beside the older man and patted his shoulder. "We'll be fine. Why don't you take your suitcase in and get settled while we find some firewood?"

Sherlock's eyes lit up. "Can I start the fire?"

John nearly fell over from his laughing again. "Sure, why not?" He grinned. "At least we won't have to worry about you burning the flat down out here."

Luna looked over at them then. "Though we do have to be concern that he will burn down the forest or the tent," she remarked. "But I don't think he will."

Sherlock glared a bit at John and then huffily picked up his suitcase from the ground and strode to the tent flap. He looked at it dubiously and then lifted the flap and stepped inside.

"Brilliant!" They all heard him exclaim. Harry snickered again and Luna's smile became more amused and less dreamy. John stared at them both in confusion. "Magic is just brilliant!" Sherlock sounded very pleased.

"What's going on?" John asked the duo.

Sherlock evidently heard him and poked his head out of the tent flap. "You have to see this! Get in here, John. Forget the firewood." His head disappeared inside again and they all heard his shouts of joy and excitement.

"Sherlock," John called out. "We need firewood if we want to eat and keep warm tonight." He shook his head.

"Go on, John," Harry urged with mirth lighting his eyes. "Go see what has him so excited. We can handle gathering the firewood."

John shot him a skeptical look but complied with his wishes. He picked up his own suitcase and flipped open the flap to the tent. His eyes widened and he swung his head towards Harry and Luna only to find them leaning on each other laughing. "So no need for firewood then?"

Harry shook his head. "Go on, we're right behind you." He motioned with his hand for John to go on into the tent and John went. "There are four bedrooms but one of them has been turned into a potion's lab for Luna. The bedroom on the right down the hall is mine and Luna's you two can decide where you're going to sleep. Be warned though that the bedroom directly across from ours is decorated for Teddy. He won't mind one of you borrowing it but it's got toys and stuff in it. Bathroom's the door at the end of the hall. There's a tub and a shower. Kitchen's fully stocked and dinner should be ready in about two hours. I have to set up the wards before I start it." He shot a look over at Sherlock. Wouldn't want any creepy crawlies invading while we sleep."

"Funny, Harry," Sherlock scowled at the teasing. "Why does the flap look like a door from this side?"

Harry shrugged. "Do not ask me to explain the logic behind the decisions of wizards because so far as I can tell, there isn't any."

"Isn't that rather harsh on yourself?" Sherlock smirked. "You are a wizard, too."

Harry shrugged again. "I already know that I have no logic and very little common sense. That doesn't bother me." He grinned at Sherlock. "You need better insults if you thought that was one."

Sherlock scowled lightly and disappeared into the room that had been decorated for Teddy. John shrugged and lugged his suitcase and Sherlock's towards the bedrooms.

SH/JW HP/LL SH/JW HP/LL

Sherlock rolled his eyes as Harry dished up plates of Lemon-baked Chicken with quinoa and sautéed carrots for everyone. "I'm not hungry," he grumbled.

"Sherlock," John said warningly. "You haven't eaten anything today aside from some crisps on the train and even then you only ate four. Eat the meal that Harry made for us."

"Picky eater, are you, Sherlock?" Harry asked. "So was my cousin. Though his pickiness was more geared toward anything that wasn't nailed down."

Sherlock scoffed. "I'm not picky," he sneered. "I'm just not hungry. I don't eat while I'm on a case; digestion slows down my thinking."

"What is there to think about on this case tonight?" Luna asked. "Harrymine is going to go to sleep tonight and then when he gets up in the morning he'll ask the snakes around here if they've seen Nessie. If none of them have then he'll call to her in Parseltongue; she'll be sure to answer that. Dragons do, you know. So you should eat."

Sherlock frowned at her and then grabbed his fork and picked at a bite of the Lemon Chicken. His eyes widened and he dug in with more enthusiasm. "This is really good, Harry." He said a few minutes later.

Harry blushed a bit. "Thank you. I hope you both like strawberry tortes."

Sherlock's head whipped up. "Berries? Strawberries?"

Luna smiled vaguely again. "Fresh one's at that. Harrymine only ever makes anything from scratch and using the freshest ingredients he can procure."

Sherlock pushed his nearly empty plate away and gazed at Harry expectantly. "I'm finished. Where's dessert?"

John chuckled, Luna giggled and disappeared through the door to the small kitchen while Harry gathered the plates and followed her. "Coming right up, Master Holmes, sir."

Sherlock smirked at their backs. His antics had banished that shadowed look from Harry's eyes, at least. Soldiers were so easy to manipulate. Act out a bit and they focused on you and not on whatever was bothering them. His mercurial moods were guaranteed to lift John out of the depression and anger that his nightmares always left him in and now it seemed they worked on Harry as well.

Luna gave him a knowing look when she and Harry brought the desserts in but said nothing. Sherlock happily devoured the sweet torte. "Why did the Minister ask you to help?" He asked while John was doing the dishes a bit later. He was supposed to be helping but he stood by the counter with the towel in his hands without ever touching a single dish.

Luna tried to scowl but her face wasn't made for such an expression and she looked rather amusing. "Kingsley is of the impression that just because Harrymine defeated the Dork Lard he has an answer for everything."

"He's an idiot," Sherlock growled. "Seriously, simply because Harry can throw a well-placed spell doesn't mean that he knows how many atoms are in a grain of sand."

"7.8 x 10 the 19th power," Harry answered immediately. Then he grinned at John and Sherlock's shocked faces. "I'm more than just a pretty face or a quick and accurate caster, gentlemen."

"So it would seem, Mr. Potter," Sherlock said in his poshest voice.

Harry stumbled backwards and sat heavily in his chair. "Don't DO that! You sounded just like your brother."

Sherlock tried to scowl but it came out very weak and was followed quickly by a small delighted smile. "Then don't be so condescending, Harry. Can I see the potions lab, now?"

Luna gave him the most direct look that she had all day. "Of course." She grabbed his hand and pulled him along with her. "I have the most wonderful pixies dust and the hair from a selkie and, of course, a bunch of snake's venom from all different kinds of snakes."

"You do realize that Sherlock will keep her in there all night, don't you, Harry?" John asked as they disappeared down the hallway.

Harry laughed and shook his head. "If she doesn't keep him in there all night, maybe. Want to play cards or something?"

"Sure, as long as we're not playing Gobstones or Exploding Snap," John answered with a shudder at the memories. "Remus used to play Gobstones with me and I couldn't stand being squirted with that stinky stuff. And your mother delighted in exploding my eyebrows every chance I gave her. Lily was ace at Exploding Snap."

"Really?" Harry leaned forward. "No one ever told me that before." He grinned. "What other games did she play? I know she didn't like Quidditch."

John raised an eyebrow at him. "Now who told you that? Your mother loved Quidditch. She never played on the teams but she loved to watch. Truthfully your mother was rather blood thirsty when it came to sports. She loved football and rugby too. Especially rugby." John shivered again. "She was so completely vicious. No one ever wanted to play against her. Your dad was the one who didn't really care much for Quidditch. Oh, don't get me wrong, he was very good at it and would have been over the moon about you playing on the team your first year but he was a very easy going guy. Not all that competitive when it came to sports."

Harry's eyes were as large as saucers with his surprise. "I never knew that. Sirius said he'd have been really proud of me and that he adored Quidditch."

"Ah, that makes some sense," John nodded. "Sirius adored Quidditch so naturally everyone else did too. He wasn't lying to you he just couldn't conceive of James enjoying flying but not being as enamoured of Quidditch as he was. So what were you thinking of playing…though if you're anything like your mother then maybe we should just read quietly or something."

Harry's green eyes twinkled and his grin was more than a bit predatory. "I was thinking along the lines of poker. The Weasley twins taught me a few years ago. I'm not competitive at all, John, I assure you."

John glared at him. "Why do I believe that to be one of the biggest lies you've ever told?" He asked shrewdly.

Harry's laugh filled the room and bounced off the walls. John only shook his head and followed the younger man to the front room.


	9. The Monster

**Disclaimer: So I hiked to the top of Mt. Olympus yesterday. Guess what I found? You got it! Nothin' but SNOW! SNOW I tell you! Curse words! I like snow but I wanted Eros so he could give me Lestrade for my blankie! It didn't work out that way and now I have to head off to Siberia! Great! More snow! Until I warm up and find Eros Lestrade and Sherlock and John and Not-Anthea and Mycroft and the rest don't belong to me and I cannot claim their paychecks.**

**A/N: So here you go! I finished this over the week and decided not to make you wait for the Blitz on Sunday. Enjoy!**

**The Loch Ness Monster**

**Chapter Five: The Monster**

**Chapter Summary: Our heroes have finally reached the loch. Will Nessie acknowledge their presence or will she continue in her anonymity?**

Sherlock and Luna chattered as they finally left the potion's lab. Neither of them knew the time, nor did they care. Luna had shown Sherlock how to brew sunblock, bug repellent, and a potion to make everything someone ate taste like Earl Grey tea. That last one wasn't necessary but he thought John would enjoy it.

Luna stopped abruptly with a giggle. Sherlock followed her gaze and let out a light chuckle. John and Harry had apparently stayed up very late. The morning sun shone through the incongruous windows and across the faces of the two men sprawled in very ungainly positions on two of the sofas in the front room.

Harry was curled up on one sofa, cards still in his hand and chocolate drops melting under his arm with his head propped up on the arm of the sofa. One leg was thrown up over the back and the other bent at the knee with his bare foot caught between two cushions.

John had settled deep into the other on his stomach with one hand and his head dangling off of the sofa. His leg looked in danger of following. He had no chocolate drops around him.

"Maybe we should have gone to bed last night," Luna mused quietly so as not to wake the slumbering men. "Harry obviously cleaned out John's chocolate stash. Harrymine's murder at poker."

Sherlock shook his head. "They're grown men; if they don't want to go to bed we can't force them."

Luna lifted one blonde brow. "I have my ways, Sherlock Holmes." She gazed at the men and nodded. "Well, we've much to do today. Let us wake them."

Sherlock was about to shake John's shoulder none too gently when Luna waved her wand and two large buckets appeared over Harry and John. Sherlock stepped backwards quickly and stood at Luna's side. "John! Harry! It's morning!" He yelled as the only warning.

Harry moved his head a bit and John's leg finally gave in and fell a victim to gravity. Other than that neither man moved at Sherlock's shout. Luna giggled a little and waved her wand again.

"LUNA!" Harry yelled spluttering after the bucket tipped and doused him with ice cold water. "How many times do I have to tell you that a gentle poke would wake me?" He whined.

John wiped the dripping water off of his face and glared at the giggling duo at the doorway. "Not funny, Sherlock."

"I thought it was," Sherlock told him in his most innocent tone. "Go wash up and dry off and Luna and I will make breakfast for you."

Harry's eyes widened for a moment before they narrowed. "What are you planning on making?"

"Toast," Sherlock said simply. "And tea. John needs tea…with milk." He nodded to himself.

Harry cocked his head to the side, nodded and stood. He strode across the room and kissed his wife on the cheek before disappearing down the hall. John watched and then stood to follow. "Don't let him burn the toast again, Luna."

Luna patted his arm. "I won't," she said. "Harrymine enchanted the toaster a long time ago. Ron never can make toast without burning it either."

SH/JW HP/LL SH/JW HP/LL

After a breakfast of perfectly toasted toast the group set off to the loch. Even for early in the morning the day was already warm and clear. Planning to spend the day by the loch whether the Loch Ness Monster answered their call or not Harry had a picnic basket over one arm and Luna had thrown a blanket over her shoulder.

"What's the plan for finding the dragon, Luna?" Sherlock asked when they'd reached a secluded stretch of the loch.

"You mean you haven't deduced it yet?" John laughed. "I know what she's planning. You always claim I'm an idiot and yet I know and you don't." He taunted his flat mate lightly.

"I know it has something to do with Harry, but I don't know what he could possibly do that the rest of us can't," Sherlock pouted.

"Dragons can talk to snakes," Luna said dreamily. "They're supposed to be very good conversationalists."

"Which ones?" Sherlock asked. "Dragons or snakes?"

"Most snakes are pretty boring to talk to," Harry said. "They always want mice or other rodents before you talk to them. I've never actually spoken to a dragon but if Luna says I can then I'm sure I can."

"Can't any magical person talk to animals?" Sherlock asked.

"Oh no," Luna shook her head. "It's a very rare talent. Anyway, Harry can't talk to animals, only reptiles."

"Parseltongue?" John asked with wide eyes. "However did you acquire that talent? It's not a Potter trait that I am aware of."

Harry scowled a little. "It isn't. When Voldie killed my parents and tried to kill me he transferred a bit of his magic into me. Dumbledore theorized that the talent would disappear when Voldie was vanquished for the final time but the Parseltongue stuck. I don't actually mind much. I mean there are worse bits of himself he could have left with me."

"Like his soul?" Luna asked.

Harry started and stared at her. "How did you know about that? I deliberately didn't tell you."

Luna's face lost its dreamy look and she sent him a fierce glare. "I am a Ravenclaw, Harrymine. Daddy knew what your scar was the moment Voldemort returned. Daddy knew all sorts of esoteric magics and you already know that I learned from him."

"Oh," Harry nodded with a flush on his cheeks.

"Do I want to ask?" Sherlock asked John quietly.

John shook his head with a frown. "It's more than likely a painful story and full of dark magic, especially if it has anything to do with Voldemort."

"Mmm," Sherlock hummed, disappointed at lost knowledge but not willing to hurt his new friends with his questions. It was a curious sensation and one he'd only recently become acquainted with. He'd never cared before but now his friendship with first John and then Harry and Luna was changing him.

Luna spread the blanket on the shore and sat down. "Well, go on then, Harrymine, call her." She flapped a hand towards the water.

Harry frowned unwilling to drop the subject of Luna's knowledge of Horcruxes. However one look at her mulish expression changed his mind and he turned to the water. He could feel three pairs of eyes watching him and he cleared his throat. "Hello?" He called out.

"English, Harrymine," Luna informed. "Shall I conjure you a snake to talk to?"

Harry frowned at her for teasing him. He turned back to the water and concentrated, ignoring the curious gazes. "_Hello! Miss Ness? Are you there?"_

"Much better, Harrymine," Luna approved. She waited patiently for a few minutes. "Well?"

"Nothing yet, Lunalove," Harry said and then stumbled back and fell as a plume of water doused him.

_"Who calls me?"_ The gigantic head that followed the plume of water hissed at the group.

Harry picked himself up and wiped the water from his eyes. _"Er…I did,"_ he hissed back to the dragon.

The dragon brought her head down to his level and snuffed at him. Suddenly her entire countenance changed and if a dragon could be said to grin then she would be. _"A Potter! And a Potter Speaker! Excellent! It has been long and long since I have been greeted with a Potter Speaker!"_

_"A Potter Speaker, Lady?"_ Harry asked confused. He was unaware of any Parseltongues in his family. Though really what he knew of his family wouldn't fill three feet of parchment.

_"Oh yes!"_ The dragon hissed in pleasure. _"I have spent many peaceful suns conversing with Potters,"_ she paused. _"Though as I said it has been long and long since then. I'm so glad you are here, young Potter. Finally! I have been waiting and waiting for a Speaker to come. One did, many suns back but he was thick with blackness and I did not answer his call."_

_"I am sorry, milady,"_ Harry told the dragon and patted her nose. _"I was unaware until just recently that I could even speak to dragons."_

_"How could you not know, young Potter?" _The dragon huffed in exasperation and nearly blew Harry over. _"One of your fathers had one of your mothers write down everything we spoke about."_

_"I was orphaned at a year old by that other Speaker and didn't find out about my heritage until I was eleven. I would have come sooner had I known."_

The dragon eyed him again and then looked beyond him at the group gathered on the blanket. _"Oooh, you brought friends! Can they Speak?"_

_"I'm afraid not," _Harry told her regretfully. _"I actually wanted to ask you something. Well, my wife wanted me to ask you."_

The dragon turned her attention back to him and then looked back to Luna. _"A Lovegood? Another excellent tiding! Lovegoods and Potters! What does the little Lovegood want to know, young Potter?"_

Harry shook off the shock from the conversation's revelations. _"Do you know where to find the Crumple Horned Snorkack?"_

The dragon drew her head back and glared at him. _"What business is that of yours, young Potter?"_

Harry swallowed suddenly realizing exactly how big this dragon was. _"Luna, that's my wife, would like to talk to the Crumple Horned Snorkack and learn from him…or her."_

The dragon seemed to scan all of them and then she settled her head back in front of Harry. _"Such sadness hangs over all of you," _she sighed. _"Maybe…he can help you._" The dragon's head rose up again. And she glided back into deeper water. _"Stay there, young Potter. I will return with an answer for you. If you possibly could…"_ she cocked her head to the side and blinked. _"I would like some of the hot chocolate drink, if you can possibly find me any."_

Harry blinked back at her. _"I don't have any with me but I can get you some, if you'd like. It would take me a few minutes."_

_"Oh yes! Please, young Potter! It has been long and long since I have had any chocolate at all and the chocolate drink that is hot is my favorite."_ The dragon ducked under the water and swam off.

"Well?" Sherlock asked impatiently.

Harry turned dazed eyes back to the group on the blanket. "She wants some hot chocolate," he said in a quiet voice.

"Hot chocolate?" Sherlock asked just as confused.

"Can dragons have chocolate?" John asked.

"Go get her some!" Luna ordered.

Harry nodded. "I did promise her that I'd get her some." He smiled still a bit dazed and disapparated.


	10. Cocoa and Snorkacks

**Disclaimer: Caught a ride with a McDonald's truck…interesting that. I don't like McDonald's but desperate times and all that. Made it to Kazan. If I get lucky like that again then I should make it to Krasnoyarsk fairly quickly. Two more weeks and my kids will be out of school and I can bring them along. That'll be fun…hopefully. Still no Greek Gods though so I'm still blanketless and poor.**

**A/N: Again, as I did in my author's note in 'The Great Coffee Quest' I apologize for not updating yesterday. I overslept and there was a workday at my church and I had no chance to upload these chapters. Please forgive me. So the Sunday Blitz has started and here's the first chapter.**

**The Loch Ness Monster**

**Chapter Six: Cocoa and Snorkacks**

**Chapter Summary: Harry brings the Loch Ness Monster some hot cocoa and they discuss Snorkacks and life or something like it.**

After Harry disappeared Luna, John and Sherlock decided to pull out lunch as they waited for him to return. Well, Luna and John decided that food would be good, Sherlock turned up his nose and went to stand at the edge of the water to watch for the dragon.

Within fifteen minutes Harry returned seemingly empty handed. Luna looked up at the pop of his apparition and frowned at him. "Where's the chocolate, Harrymine? Nessie will be unhappy if you don't have it."

Harry smirked at her. "Winky was pleased to be able to assist such an incredibly noble creature as Nessie," he told them as he pulled a large cauldron from his pocket. He set the cauldron on the ground and enlarged it with a wave of his wand.

John peered down into the dark depths of the cauldron that was nearly as tall as he was. "It's empty though," he pointed out.

Harry turned his smirk to him. "This one is…for now," he tapped the cauldron with his wand and it filled with steaming dark liquid. "This cauldron is one of a set that Winky had. The other is back at the house in the kitchen."

Sherlock stared at the now bubbling and full cauldron in astonishment. "How did you do that?"

Harry blushed. "I'd love to take credit for this bit of magic but Winky did it. House elf magic." He shrugged. "Don't ask me to explain it. Winky wouldn't tell me. She said it's a house elf secret."

"Couldn't you order her to tell you?" John asked. "She is bonded to you and so she has to tell you if you order her too, doesn't she?"

Harry and Luna both glared at him for a moment. "I wouldn't ever order her to tell me house elf secrets," Harry said tightly. "Winky is a friend."

"I'm sorry," John held up his hand in a placating gesture. "I didn't mean to offend either of you."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Sherlock said. "Who is Winky and why would you order her to tell her secrets?"

"Winky is a house elf," Harry explained as he watched Luna conjure a wooden spoon and stir the cauldron. "House elves are magical creatures."

"They're parasites," Luna told the cauldron and then cackled with glee. "They support themselves by leeching the magic around them."

"Wait so that creature we met on the train was stealing magic from you?" Sherlock asked in horror. "But he seemed so benevolent…sort of."

"The way Luna explained it isn't wrong, exactly," Harry protested. "It's true but they don't take enough for the average witch or wizard to even notice. They take more from their surroundings and the earth around them than from their masters. It's hard to explain really," Harry shrugged. "The bond gives them access to the magic of the witch or wizard and they serve that witch or wizard until death or banishment."

"It is a symbiotic relationship," Luna amended. "The cocoa is done and Nessie's here." She looked out to the water and the trail of wake the dragon left behind her as she hurried towards the shore.

_"Hello, milady," _Harry called as the dragon's head rose above the water. "_I've brought your chocolate. My house elf enchanted the cauldron for you. Winky says all you have to do is tap the lip of the cauldron and she will fill it any time you want."_

The dragon's eyes widened in pleasure. "_I thank you, young Potter! And your house elf."_ The dragon reached out one clawed forepaw and picked up the cauldron. She buried her snout in the fragrant brew and gulped it down. _"Just as good as I remember! Perfect!"_

"Ask her now, Harrymine," Luna prodded her silent husband.

_"Milady?"_ Harry called out to her. "_Have you a name you prefer to be called? And may I know what it is if you do?"_

_"One of your fathers called me Aleva,"_ the dragon responded opening one great gray eye and perusing the group on the shore. _"You would like an answer to your query would you not?"_

_"If you would like to tell me, Lady Aleva, I would be honored to hear the answer,"_ Harry responded respectfully.

The dragon tapped a claw on the lip of the cauldron and let out a rumbling growl of pleasure at it filled again. _"In exchange for this lovely brew I will tell you what you wish to know."_

_"Lady Aleva," _Harry interrupted. _"The cauldron is yours to keep for eternity whether you give us the information or not. You are a noble creature and deserve to be a little pampered now and then."_

The dragon set the cauldron on the shore and lowered her head to stare into Harry's green eyes. Her blue scales shone blindingly in the sun. Finally after silent moments she lifted her head and picked up the cauldron again. _"You too are a noble creature, young Potter. I thank you for the chocolate. I will tell you what I can of the Crumple Horned Snorkack."_

_"We thank you, Lady Aleva."_

_"I cannot tell you much. The Crumple Horned Snorkack is very powerful magically and has bespelled itself so that only those that know it already may hear of it."_ She seemed to shrug. _"Or those that it wants to know of it. I cannot explain the magic behind it."_

_"I understand that, my lady." _

_"Very well, then, young Potter. To find the Crumple Horned Snorkack, the ruler and leader of ALL magical creatures you must find The Library and the Librarian."_

Harry pondered the information for a moment or two and then sat in front of Aleva. _"Which library, Lady?"_

Aleva let out a rumbling chuckle. _"That I cannot tell you, young Potter, for I do not have that information. I can tell you that the Crumple Horned Snorkack is not what you think it is and that you could walk right by it without ever knowing you did. Seek The Library."_ She finished off the chocolate in one gulp. _"Will this vessel rust?"_

_"No, milady," _Harry answered in a vague tone. His brain was spinning as he tried to figure out which library and librarian Aleva meant. _"I've charmed it to be waterproof."_

_"Very good, young Potter," _Aleva stretched out her neck again and snuffled into Harry's chest. _"I wish you good luck on your quest and please come back to see me again. Next time I shall teach you how to do a spell that will allow your friends to speak with me as well…if you bring something to trade."_

Harry couldn't help but chuckle at her. _"Of course, my lady Aleva. What would you like for trade?"_

Aleva closed one eye in a slow blink. _"I shall leave that up to you, young Potter. Potters always bring the best items for trading if you let them use their imaginations."_

Harry laughed again and waved as Aleva sped off into the water. The others joined him by the water's edge and waved as well.

"So what did she say?" John asked in an eager tone.

"Aleva said to seek the library and the librarian," Harry told them. "She didn't know which one just the library and she said that the Crumple Horned Snorkack is not what we would expect. That we could walk right by it and never know."

"Well that's a big help," Sherlock scowled. "There are millions of libraries! How are we supposed to find the right one?"

Harry shrugged. Luna stared off after Aleva. "I think we should start with the Hogwarts library," she suggested. "There are fewer magical libraries and that is one of the best in the U.K."

Harry groaned loudly. "I hate going to Hogwarts anymore," he whined dramatically. "You go and we'll wait for you to tell us what you find out."

Luna smacked his arm lightly. "Why don't you want to go to Hogwarts, Harry?" John asked. "Remus said you loved it there. He said it was like home to you."

Luna giggled. "He did love it. But now there are portraits and ghosts that he'd rather avoid only he can't. They follow him every time he sets foot on Hogwarts grounds."

"Ghosts?" Sherlock asked skeptically. "Seriously? And how can portraits follow you? Are you having us on?"

Luna snickered. "I guess you'll see when we get there, won't you?"

"Luna," Harry pouted. "Can't it wait? I mean I'm sure John and Sherlock would like to go back home now, right guys?" He turned pleading eyes on them.

John chuckled and shook his head. "I've been hearing about Hogwarts all my life and I've always wanted to see it. Sorry, Harry, but I vote we go."

"I don't believe in ghosts," Sherlock said with a scowl. "You'll have to prove it so I guess you're taking us to Hogwarts."

Harry groaned and flopped down on the blanket. "Can I at least have lunch first? I'm starving and you know they'll stop me from eating at Hogwarts."

Luna knelt down beside him, dug through the basket and finally handed him one of the sandwiches Kreature and Winky had packed for them. "There you are, Harrymine, you'll need your strength to run from Peeves and the others."

Harry took a vicious bite from the sandwich and glared at her. "You are the meanest wife I have."

Luna only laughed. "I'm the only wife you have."


	11. Meeting the Headmistress

**Disclaimer: Only made it as far as Menzelinsk today. Still it's closer than I was yesterday and I learned from another man that I met in Mamadysh that he too had seen one of the Greek Gods in Krasnoyarsk only he saw Hephaestus. I hope they're not pranking me. These characters are still not mine and I'm still poor you know?**

**A/N: Last chapter of the Sunday Blitz…better than last week's though. Including 'The Great Coffee Quest' this make four chapters.**

**At Hogwarts**

**Chapter One: Meeting the Headmistress**

**Chapter Summary: Hogwarts and McGonagall. Enough said.**

Sherlock stared at the ruins before him in horror. He could tell that this had once been a proud castle but now there was nothing left of it except rubble. "I…" he paused not sure what to say to his companions. "Is this Hogwarts?" He asked John quietly.

"Mmhm," John nodded with a mysterious smile. "It's gorgeous isn't it?" He sighed in pleasure. "It looks just like I imagined it would."

Sherlock eyed the ruins again, positive that he was missing something. "Good Lord!" He yelped when a stern dark-haired woman appeared from thin air right in front of them.

"Harry, Luna," the woman ignored him and greeted his companions. She eyed John for a moment before dismissing his presence as easily as she had dismissed Sherlock's. "You came more quickly than I'd thought you would."

"Pardon, Professor?" Harry sounded confused. "You were expecting us?"

"Yes, Potter," the woman bit out. "Did you not receive my patronus message? I sent it not ten minutes ago."

Harry opened his mouth to tell her that they hadn't received any message when a light appeared and coalesced into a cat. "Potter, you are needed at Hogwarts as soon as possible," the cat said in the professor's voice before disappearing.

"I guess we missed each other," Harry snickered. "What did you need, Professor McGonagall?"

The stern looking woman looked at the spot where the cat had been and then to Harry and finally at John and Sherlock. "Come inside," she ordered. "Leave the Muggles."

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and didn't move when the woman turned around and disappeared again. "No." He said simply.

"Where did she go?" Sherlock asked. "She didn't make that popping sound when she disappeared."

"She didn't disappear," John said quietly. "She's walking down the path to the castle, Sherlock. Don't you see her?"

Sherlock scowled and glared at John. "No. You mean you can?" He shook his head as though to clear it. "What are we doing here? Lestrade needs us at the police station."

Harry grabbed Sherlock's hand with his own and led him towards where the woman had disappeared. He felt a tap on his head and suddenly remembered why they were there. "That was uncalled for, Professor," Harry called out. "You had no right to spell Sherlock."

The woman that Sherlock could now see turned around sharply. "I dinna have time to be given Muggles tours today, Mr. Potter! We have a situation and I must have your entire attention. Luna can take them home while you and I attend to this crisis."

Harry let go of Sherlock's hand and crossed his arms over his chest again. "I said no, Professor. We brought Sherlock and John for our own reasons and they will come with us."

The woman stalked towards them. "Did you not hear me, Mr. Potter? I am Headmistress of Hogwarts and I need your undivided attention."

"I am no longer a student, Professor," Harry said calmly. "I do not have to help you with whatever it is that has you so agitated."

Sparks of fury nearly shot from the woman's light green eyes. "You are quite correct, Mr. Potter," her voice was cold as ice. "You are no longer a student and as such I no longer have to allow you entrance."

"Actually, Professor," Luna interrupted. "You'll find that you do. The Hogwarts bylaws stated that 'no student, or family member of a student, of this institution shall be denied entrance for any reason, except criminals seeking sanctuary from their rightful sentence, no matter their blood status, place of origin or date of matriculation.' So you see, you must let us in."

The professor face became carved from stone. "That may be Miss Love—Mrs. Potter but I do not need to allow your Muggle friends inside the gates."

"Professor, allow me to introduce you to our Muggle friends," Harry's voice was still calm but there was a hint of steel beneath it. Sherlock had heard that same voice when Harry had been speaking to Hermione at the flat.

"I donna 'ave time, Mr. Potter!" The Professor nearly shouted. "There is a situation in the castle that requires our immediate attention. Come now, Potter!"

"No." Harry said stubbornly. "Meet Dr. John Watson," he waved a hand at the blonde man. "Remus' older brother and his Significant Other, Sherlock Holmes. Gentlemen, this is Professor McGonagall, Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Now you have no right to bar them from the castle. Care to tell me where you suddenly found your blood prejudice?"

The woman spluttered and then drew a deep breath and visibly calmed herself. "It is not blood prejudice, Mr. Potter. I have simply had enough of Muggles and their incessant questions for one day. I apologize to both of you," she said to John and Sherlock. "Now will you please come help me?"

"Of course, Professor," Harry told her with a smile that belied the ice in his eyes. "You know I have no issues with assisting you and the castle when needed." He took Luna's hand in his own and took a few steps up the path. "Sherlock, John, you may follow us if you like or look around on your own. Beware of the poltergeist, Peeves, though. He loves to play pranks and they're not always harmless."

John swallowed and grabbed at Sherlock's arm. "We'll follow along with you if that's alright."

The professor sighed and rubbed at her temples. "Verra well, but keep your inane questions to yourselves."

"I have never asked an inane question in my entire life," Sherlock hissed, affronted and scowled at the woman. "Simply because someone is giving you a headache does not give you the right to demean us. You should try more catnip in your tea and scotch!"

"I beg your pardon, young man?" If it was possible, McGonagall's voice became colder than it had been before.

Sherlock stalked closer to her. "You are a lifetime educator and hope to live and die in this castle. You do not own a cat but you have cat hair on your clothes which means that you are most likely an animagus and your form is that of a tabby cat. You wanted to become Headmistress since you began teaching but now that you are you wish you could go back to the classroom. You are Scottish as evidenced by your brogue though you've lived in England since you were a young woman. Your brogue fades in and out with a London accent…near the Palace I should think. You have a headache from someone and not something and you added a bit of scotch to your tea to combat it at lunch. Now, what inane questions could I possibly have that would require you and not Harry or Luna or even John to answer?"

McGonagall blinked at him and then blinked again. "Now how did you be knowing all of that?" She asked startled.

John coughed to cover a laugh and Harry and Luna stared at Sherlock in astonishment. "Wow," Harry said. "I knew you could see more than most but that was bloody amazing."

Luna nodded from beside her husband. "It really was, Sherlock. No one ever notices the things you do."

McGonagall seemed to shake herself. "Never mind; it doesna matter. Come along, we've work to do."

They followed her when she stalked off towards the huge castle in front of them. Sherlock's eyes swept over it again and again trying to reconcile what he saw now with what he'd seen before the tap on his head. It made no sense but then he'd discovered that very few things made sense when magic was involved.

He watched closely as they approached the great doors at the end of the path. Harry had a small smile on his lips and his green eyes were lit with pleasure even as his shoulders tensed. Luna was ignoring the castle and the professor as she walked with her hand in Harry's. She seemed to be looking off at the forest to the side and smiling. John's head was whipping back and forth as he tried to take in everything at once and his grip of Sherlock's arm had not lessened.

John's grip suddenly tightened as he spotted something in the shadows of the forest. "Luna? Harry?" He asked softly so that McGonagall would not accuse him of asking inane questions. "What are those horse things?"

McGonagall stopped abruptly and looked over her shoulder at him. "You can see the Thestrals, Mr. Watson?"

Sherlock turned to look where John's stare was directed. "Of course we can. They're right there in plain sight. You do mean those black skeletal horse things with wings don't you?"

McGonagall frowned at him. "Only those with magic can see Thestrals, Mr. Holmes and then only if they've seen death."

"So which part disturbs you, Professor?" Sherlock drawled. "The part where we may have magic or the part where we may have seen death?"

McGonagall's frown grew fiercer. "Both, Mr. Holmes."

"Why would it bother you that we have magic?" John asked a bit hurt. "You taught my brother."

"Every child who has magic should have attended school here and yet neither of you did. As for the death…well, you were neither of you a part of our war so where would you have seen death unless you caused it or a family member died?"

John straightened his back. "Do you really believe that your war is the only one where someone died?"

McGonagall snorted. "You Muggles use bombs and long range weapons and never see the people you kill."

John set his jaw and glared at the taller woman. "I am an army doctor, ma'am, I have seen more death than any one person should and remain sane."

McGonagall only sniffed disparagingly . "I know nothing of Muggle healing." She told him and then turned her attention to Sherlock. "And you? Where have you seen death, Mr. Holmes?"

Sherlock lifted one eyebrow at her and grinned viciously. "I work for the police on their murder cases. Many murderers would rather die than go to prison, you know?" There was no way on Earth he was going to tell this woman about John and that cabbie he'd shot in Sherlock's defense, Hope.

McGonagall sniffed again and eyed him suspiciously but turned her head back to the front and strode up the stone stairs to the door. It opened easily at her touch and she disappeared into the darkness. Harry and Luna snickered behind her back and then followed. "Come on, gentlemen, you'll love this place," Harry called over his shoulder as his hand stroked the great door.

Sherlock thought the castle lightened and seemed to welcome them in as he followed Harry and Luna in.


	12. The Castle

**Disclaimer: I've lost myself! I have no idea where I am on my hunt for Eros. So I just caught a flight home. I missed my kids anyway. Lestrade still isn't mine and neither is anyone else and I make no money off of my stories just laughs. **

**A/N: So did anyone catch who they're supposed to be looking for? If not…well, I'm not telling. So this chapter begins the next crossover in our story. I'm not telling what movie it is because if you know the movie then you know this character and if you don't know the movie then…telling you would be rather pointless because it will still make no sense. If you review and ask for the name of the movie I'll tell you. Everyone confused now? You are? Good.**

**Also I apologize for not updating yesterday but it was graduation and so I was a bit busy.**

**At Hogwarts**

**Chapter Two: The Castle**

Sherlock and John were silent as they followed the three magical people through the castle. Everywhere they looked there was evidence of magic and wonder. Portraits moved and spoke. The staircase seemed to have minds of their own. Sherlock thought he even saw one of the suits of armor wave at him. Not really believing himself he waved back.

"Did that armor just move?" John whispered to him.

"I think so," Sherlock whispered back.

Finally they came to what looked like a dead end with only a stone gargoyle and a door with no handle. "Good afternoon, Crispin," Harry said to the gargoyle.

"Afternoon, Mr. Potter," the gargoyle grinned at them. "And friends. Oh! And the lovely Luna! How are you, Mrs. Potter?"

"I am well, Crispin, thank you," Luna said. "How are you?"

"Stiff," he answered and then laughed at his own joke.

"I still find it hard to believe the two of you made friends with a stone gargoyle," McGonagall shook her head. "Lion's Pride," she told the gargoyle.

The gargoyle pouted at her. "I was havin' a conversation, Minerva. Why'd you have to go and give me the password so soon? No one ever wants to just talk to me! Harry and Luna are the only ones who just want a chat."

"We have things to do today, Crispin," McGonagall said through clenched teeth. "We have already wasted enough time."

"I don't think it's a waste of time to talk to me," the gargoyle grumbled even as he slid to the side and the door opened.

Luna patted his head as she followed McGonagall through the door. "I don't either, Crispin. You know everything about this castle, don't you?"

Crispin leaned into her touch. "The castle speaks to me, she does. Tells me what I need to know about the students and teachers and everyone within her walls."

Luna nodded and glided through the doorway. Harry paused. "Crispin, this is Sherlock and John. They're my friends."

The gargoyle looked over at them and grinned. "Any friend of Harry's or Luna's is a friend of mine. Welcome to Hogwarts, Sherlock and John."

"Hey, Crispin, do you know what has McGonagall in such a lather?" Harry asked.

The gargoyle chuckled. "I do as a matter of fact. Some Muggle man, boy really, showed up this morning and found his way into the castle. He was poking around and McGonagall caught him. He claims he's here looking for the Philosopher's Stone."

"But the stone was destroyed years ago," Harry protested. "Or at least that's what Dumbledore told me."

"If he did destroy it he didn't do it within these walls," Crispin muttered. "Delusional old fart he was. That Muggle boy, he told McGonagall that his 'instruments indicated that the Philosopher's Stone is inside this castle'. She huffed at him and dragged him off to her office."

"Guess we'd better go find out what's going on then," Harry said and patted Crispin's head as he moved by him.

John followed his lead. "It was nice to meet you, Crispin." He said and thrust his hand out to shake the gargoyle's stone appendage.

"And you, Dr. Watson," Crispin's gravelly voice was suffused with pleasure and he creaked a bit as he grasped John's hand and shook it.

Sherlock bent so that he was eye level with Crispin. "You are completely sentient then?" He asked. "Fascinating. I look forward to conversing with you at a later date, sir."

Crispin's face creased in a delighted grin. He was unused to such attention, magical people took him for granted for the most part. "I shall await that day, Mr. Holmes, with much anticipation." They shook and Sherlock followed the others into the small room.

Ahead of him and up he saw McGonagall riding a moving spiral staircase upwards to another door. Luna was waiting at the bottom and held her hand out to Harry to join her. Harry did so and the two stepped onto the staircase as it began to carry them up. "An escalator in a castle?" John's smile was amused.

McGonagall gazed down at them as they boarded the staircase with a bemused look. "Whatever is an es-ca-lay-tor, Dr. Watson?" She asked.

John craned his neck upwards to look at her. "This is an escalator, Professor McGonagall. A moving staircase, though ours are powered by electricity and I would bet this one is powered by magic."

McGonagall sniffed and looked forward again. "This staircase has moved in this way for hundreds of years." She said.

John shrugged. "It's still an escalator and not all that different from the ones in our world, though as far as I know none of ours are spiral."

"They're not," Sherlock confirmed. "However, with the advances in technology it's only a matter of time."

McGonagall looked down upon them again as she stepped off the staircase in front of another door. "Do you really believe that your tech-tech-know-low-gy is able to mimic our magic?"

Sherlock gave her a glare from beneath dark brows. "In some ways I know our technology surpasses your magic," he bit out.

"Mr. Holmes," McGonagall began in a patronizing tone.

"He's right," Harry interrupted her as he and Luna came to a stop beside her. "A wizard cannot instantly speak with someone in China, for instance. Muggles can. A pureblood witch or wizard would never even think of travelling to space and yet Muggles have been doing so for half a century."

McGonagall's eyes rounded. "We will speak more of this later," she stalled. "For now, you need to straighten the Muggle in my office out and get him to leave Hogwarts." She opened the door as John and Sherlock stepped off the staircase and stood behind Harry and Luna.

McGonagall opened the door to her office and glared at the crash from the inside. "Sorry, sorry," a voice called out. "Severus told me to."

"And how old are you, Mr. Carson?" A smooth baritone answered the accusation. "Are you incapable of using common sense?"

"That artifact was a priceless ancient treasure from Babylonia," an elderly man's voice said in tones of extreme disappointment.

"Please," the first voice said. "It said 'Made in Japan' on the bottom and I know it's a child's toy."

McGonagall pushed the door all the way open and glared into the room before her. "Mr. Carson, I do not care where it was made or what it was," she started.

"Oh, hello, Professor McGonagall," the first voice, obviously this Mr. Carson, said. "Did you find the person you went to look for? I must admit that I'm very anxious to meet Mr. Potter. If he's done all you say then he must be a very powerful magician."

"I'm a wizard actually," Harry informed him as he pulled Luna into the room. John and Sherlock followed hot on their heels. "Good afternoon, everyone."


	13. Flynn Carson

**Disclaimer: We made it to the big hole in the ground called appropriately the Grand Canyon. Our hotel has a rather nice view of it actually which means my son is avoiding all windows as he's excessively acrophobic. Ah, the fun of dangling him over the banister on the stairs. Good memories. He does scream like a girl but then he hasn't hit puberty yet. Sherlock and his friends and Harry and his friends aren't mine and I make no money on these stories.**

**A/N: Chapter Two of the Monday Blitz. Unfortunately I have been seriously busy and this will be the last one for this week and the next two weekends might be even worse as I have to drive a bunch of kids from my church up to their summer camps. It's something like a seven hour drive or a nine hour drive depending on which road I take. Believe it or not the nine hour drive is actually shorter. It just goes over the mountains so it takes longer. Anyway, here you go, enjoy it and let me know what you think.**

**At Hogwarts**

**Chapter Three: Flynn Carson**

**Chapter Summary: Our intrepid explorers meet a rather strange Muggle and confront the portrait of Dumbledore.**

McGonagall sighed and shook her head. "Mr. Potter, meet Mr. Flynn Carson," she motioned between the two.

The blond man cocked his head to the side as he studied Harry. "I thought you'd be taller," he said. "Or at least more muscular."

Harry frowned at him. "I'm not," he said simply and then seemed to shrug off the irritation. "This is my wife, Luna and our friends, Dr. John Watson and Sherlock Holmes."

"Really?" Flynn brightened. "I didn't know they were magical! Their blogs don't say anything about magic."

"That would be breaking the Statute of Secrecy, Mr. Carson," Sherlock sneered. "Besides neither of us can practice this form of magic."

"This form? You mean there are others? Of course there are others! I mean there would have to be. I've seen a few myself. My boss disappears and reappears at will." Flynn rambled. "And I fight with a floating sword sometimes…though Excalibur usually beats me."

"I wouldn't doubt that," Harry snickered and led Luna to a chair. "Excalibur has a thousand or more years of experience over you." He and Luna sat down in armchairs side by side. "Good afternoon, Professor Snape." He addressed one of the portraits hanging on the wall. "How are you?"

"Mr. Potter," the portrait nodded to him. "I am a portrait, how do you expect me to be?"

Sherlock crept towards it for a closer look and then studied the elderly man in the portrait beside him. His eyes narrowed. "You're Dumbledore," he announced.

The portrait beamed at him. "Yes, my boy, I am Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Chief—"

"Be glad you are only a portrait and that I have no paint thinner," Sherlock hissed. "Were you alive I would beat you bloody."

The portraits eyes widened and his countenance dimmed before he looked over Sherlock's shoulder at Harry. "Harry, my boy, what have you been telling this poor delusional man about me to cause him to threaten bodily harm."

John stepped between the portrait's eyes and Harry. "Nothing but the truth and he hasn't really told us all that much. We're fairly smart and quite capable of laying the blame for Harry's life and troubles at the proper door."

Flynn looked between the fuming duo to Harry who was gripping Luna's hand in his own and then back to the portrait. He snorted. "I didn't think I liked you before but now I'm positive that I don't. Just tell me where the Philosopher's Stone is and I'll be out of your hair."

"It was destroyed nearly a decade ago, as I've told you, Mr. Carson," McGonagall said wearily as she sat behind the large desk in the middle of the room. "Why can you not accept that?"

Flynn took a seat near Luna and Harry and peered at her, his back to the portraits. He held up a small device that none of them could identify. "This says it's here in this castle somewhere and I have to find it."

"Immortality is not as wonderful as you've been led to believe, Mr. Carson," Dumbledore's portrait said before anyone else could speak.

Flynn turned to the portrait slowly and scowled at it around John. "I have no wish to be immortal," he claimed. "I only want to take the stone somewhere where it will be safe from fortune hunters and Dark Lords."

"You are a Muggle," McGonagall pointed out unnecessarily. "What would you know of Dark Lords?"

"Quite a bit," Sherlock answered for him. "Obviously. For a so called Muggle to have any knowledge of the term he must know a lot of them."

"The stone has been destroyed," McGonagall insisted.

Harry cocked his head to the side and pinned the woman with emerald eyes. "How do we know that?" He asked. "We only have Dumbledore's word and I'm learning more every day about his lies."

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall erupted. "How dare you?" She half rose from her seat. "Professor Dumbledore did the best he could for you and the school! Do not disparage his memory in front of me!"

"His best?" Sherlock exploded. "A toddler could have done a better job! Now where is this stone, Dumbledore?" He asked the portrait of the elderly man.

The portrait glared at him and remained silent.

"Albus?" McGonagall asked in a quiet voice as she thumped back down in her chair. "You did destroy the stone, didn't you? You said you had."

"My dear Minerva," the portrait began.

"Shut up, Albus!" The portrait of the dark haired man shouted at him. "It's obvious now that you didn't destroy the Philosopher's Stone! What were you thinking keeping that stone in a school full of children? Not to mention various embodiments of the Dark Lord! Have you lost what little sense you had to begin with? If this Muggle knows the stone's here then who else knows? You've endangered the school…again! And Potter no longer stays in the castle for any length of time! How is he supposed to save the school and the students if he's no longer here?"

Harry sat back in his chair and pulled John away from his line of vision. Luna waved her wand and two more chairs popped into existence to the side of Flynn's. "Sit down gentlemen," Harry instructed without looking at them. He regarded the portrait of Dumbledore in silence for a moment. "I am no longer a child," he said quietly. "I know how the world works now. Where is the Philosopher's Stone, Albus?"

Dumbledore stared at him with eyes full of disappointment. "You would allow these Muggles to tarnish your memory of me, my boy?" He asked sadly.

Harry laughed but it wasn't a happy sound. Luna covered her ears and leaned her head on her husband's shoulder. "Don't laugh like that, Harrymine. It will hurt your soul."

Harry stroked her long blond hair with one hand and never took his eyes from the portrait. "Sorry, Lunalove. I didn't need them to tarnish my memory. You did that all on your own. Where is the Philosopher's Stone?"

The portrait stared at him sadly. "I have only ever had your best interests in mind, my boy."

Harry snorted and Luna burrowed further into his shoulder. "I find it very sad that you actually believe that. You see, I've learned a bit about magical portraits. They cannot lie. They can mislead and only tell part of the truth but you can't actually lie to us anymore. Now then, where is the Philosopher's Stone, Albus?"

The portrait glared at him with ice cold blue eyes. "I am not going to allow the stone to fall into the hands of a Muggle," he declared.

"I am not a Muggle, Albus," Harry returned. "No matter how hard you tried to make me lose my magic, I still have it."

"That is a serious accusation, Mr. Potter!" McGonagall exploded at him. "You had better have the evidence to back it up or I will haul you before the Wizengamot for false witness!"

"In order to manage that, Professor," Luna said softly. "You will have had to hear Harrymine say that in front of four or more wizards or witches of good standing and you've only got yourself. I would never testify against my husband."

"It's not false witness, anyway," Harry said. "He placed me with abusive Muggles as a baby. Abuse can damage a magical core. I fought Voldemort in my first year and he drained me, that could have damaged my core as well. Second year I was bitten by a basilisk. Need I go on? Just tell me where the Philosopher's Stone is, Albus. Don't force me to find out for myself or you won't like the consequences."

Albus glared even harder. He couldn't believe this half-grown upstart was challenging him, again. Didn't he know what was good for him? "You will only hand it over to that Muggle and then what do you think will happen?"

"Hey! I've already said that I have no interest in immortality," Flynn protested. "I have no desire to live forever…though it would be interesting to be able to travel the world forever and read all the books," he shook his head. "But the price is too high for me. I also have no interest in money aside from making sure my bills are paid and I earn more than enough for that."

"Last chance, Albus," Harry said as he gently shook Luna off of him and stood before the portrait. "Where is the Philosopher's Stone?"

The portrait merely glared at him for a moment before turning his head away. "He isn't going to tell you, Mr. Potter," the dark-haired man said.

Harry sent him a small grin. "Oh, I knew that from the beginning," he claimed. "I just didn't want anyone," he sent a pointed glance at McGonagall, "to accuse me of being overhasty." He took a deep breath and suddenly seemed to begin glowing. "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, ex-Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I, Harry James Potter, Heir to Godric Gryffindor and Rowena Ravenclaw by blood and Salazar Slytherin by conquest hereby order you to answer any questions Mr. Flynn Carson puts to you truthfully and fully with no prevaricating or obscuring." Three of the instruments on McGonagall's desk exploded and the older woman shrieked in pain for a moment before falling silent and blinking slowly.

A wave of magic passed through the room and over everyone, portraits included, inside the office. The castle walls shivered in what seemed to be delight to Sherlock. He stared hard at the young man and was shocked to see sadness in his eyes.

Dumbledore's portrait seemed to stiffen and his jaw dropped in shock. The magic in the air beat at the portrait.

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore you are accused of endangering magical children." Harry continued.

Four ghosts, that Luna recognized as the House Ghosts, floated into the room. "Who accuses this former Headmaster of endangerment?" The Bloody Baron intoned.

Harry stood up as straight as he could and face the ghosts. "I, Harry James Potter, do." He answered in his most serious voice.

The magic in the room seemed to pulse. McGonagall tried to speak but no words emerged from her throat. Sherlock watched the proceedings with a strange light in his eyes. John and Flynn stared upon the participants with confusion and Luna stared out the window with a wistful look.

In a rush of wind the magic coalesced around Harry and then burst out and washed over everyone in the office. "Magic has declared your claim justified, Mr. Potter," the portrait of Snape said in a voice that wasn't his own. "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore you are accused and will stand trial in front of these witnesses and judges."

"What?" Dumbledore squawked and stood. "I have done nothing wrong!" He walked to the side of the portrait and then fell backwards. "Let me out!"

"You will not leave these premises until this court is adjourned," Snape continued in that eerie voice. "Let us begin." He waved a hand and the five humans that weren't Harry were pushed back against one of the walls by a pulse of magic.

The Fat Friar floated over to them. "You must remain quiet," he warned them. "Unless you are called to speak. Do you understand?"

They all nodded though McGonagall looked more than a little dazed. None of them quite understood what exactly was happening except Luna but she gave the proceedings little attention as she stared out the window at the puffy white clouds painted on the blue sky.


	14. The Trial of Albus Dumbledore

**Disclaimer: Ah, the beach is lovely, don't you think? It'd be better with a nice, hot Detective Inspector that needed to be slathered with sunscreen but you can't have everything can you? Anyway, still looking for Eros, between bouts of sunbathing, and still not rich.**

**A/N: I'm not really liking where this story is headed but I'll live with it. It shouldn't be too hard to get it back on track though so…yeah, we'll see what happens.**

**At Hogwarts**

**Chapter Four: The Trial of Dumbledore**

**Chapter Summary: I think the title explains everything, don't you?**

Sherlock gripped John's hand in a white-knuckled squeeze and he stared in shock at the ghosts filling the room. He'd thought that Harry and Luna had been having them on when they'd said there were ghosts in the castle. He knew they weren't being malicious about it but Harry and Luna did have the air of jokers at times.

One of the ghosts, his chest covered in silver blood, floated to the portrait of the dead headmaster and stood in front of it. "You are charged with crimes against a magical child, Mr. Dumbledore. These charges are numerous and grievous. Do you deny them?"

Blue eyes glared at and through the ghost of the Bloody Baron. "Of course I deny them!" Dumbledore shouted. "Everything I have ever done has been for the good of our world!"

"Look," Harry suddenly said with a sigh. "I don't care about all the stuff he did to me as a kid. He's dead now and can't cause any more harm. I just want to know where the Philosopher's Stone is so that it can be disposed of safely." He moved to stand beside the Bloody Baron and stared into the ghosts eyes.

The Baron glared for a moment and then nodded with a heavy sigh. "You are far too nice, little lion cub. That is why Alistar decided to follow your wishes the day of your Sorting."

Harry gave the ghost a sly grin. "Are you sure it wasn't because I was too sneaky even for the snakes?"

The ghost gave out a hard laugh and patted Harry's head. "You may believe that if you wish, little lion, but we all know the truth."

"Amusing as this is," came a soft voice from one of the female ghosts. "Do you not thing we should get on with things?"

"Yes, of course, Lady Helena," the Bloody Baron nodded and then turned back to the portrait. "Where is the stone, Albus?"

The elderly headmaster only glared back at him.

"Albus," the ghost said warningly. "Do not force me to compel you to tell the truth. It will not be pretty."

The old man gave a sniff and turned his back on the room. All of the ghosts gave out sighs of frustration. "Very well," said the one in the ruff and tights. "On your head be it."

As one the four intoned: "Where is the stone, Albus?" A wave of wind buffeted around the room and flapped at the curtains and papers and rattled the paintings against the wall. Against his will the old headmaster was forced around to face the room. The Baron pressed his face into the portrait for a moment and then eased back out. The wind settled.

The Baron turned to Harry. "It is within the Heart," he said. "You will find it within the Heart of the Castle. Hogwarts will show you the way, little lion, but only you. Much damage may be inflicted from within the Heart."

Harry gave him a startled look. "None of us would damage Hogwarts, Baron," he protested.

The ghost smirked. "Of course you wouldn't, not intentionally, little lion, but we would rather not take the chance of unintentional harm."

"Oh," Harry nodded deflated. "Where do I go to start, Baron?"

"You cannot!" Dumbledore shouted. "You will not take the stone from this castle, Potter! It must be protected!"

The two men, one solid and the other only mist, glared at him. "Go now, little lion," the ghost said. "Crispin will guide you."

Harry nodded and strode to the door. "Thank you, Baron." He laid a hand on the handle and then looked back over his shoulder. "Keep an eye on them, Lunalove." Then he disappeared down the stairs without waiting for a reply.

"Of course, Harrymine," Luna said distractedly out the window. "I always do." The ghosts faded away.

"I'm not sure asking her that was a good idea," Flynn muttered. "She doesn't seem to be paying much attention."

Sherlock glared at him for the slight to his blond friend. "She's paying enough attention to keep the cat from strangling you," he spat out.

The younger man started and stared around the room. "What cat? I don't see a cat. Has magic made it invisible? And a cat can't strangle someone. Suffocate, yes, possibly but they don't have hands to strangle…er, do they?"

John laid a comforting hand on Sherlock's arm even as the dark haired man rolled his eyes. John sighed and turned to Flynn. "Sometimes they do," he said simply. "Especially when they're shape changers."

The man's eyes widened. "Really? One of you is a shape changer? Fascinating! Can you show me? I'd really like to see it."

Luna laughed and turned to face them. "John and Sherlock can't change forms, silly. Professor McGonagall can though, only into a house cat though. Not like Harry."

The older woman that had been identified as McGonagall finally stood up and then sat back behind the desk. "Whatever do you mean, Miss…Mrs. Potter? Harry is not an animagus. He has not registered with the ministry and I know that Harry would not break such a law."

Luna laughed again though it didn't have the same amusement. "Why would Harry register with the ministry, Professor. So that he can let the whole of our world know his only form of escape?"

McGonagall turned wide light green eyes on her. "Pardon? What would he need to escape from? He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is gone, Luna."

Luna hummed and glanced out the window again seemingly becoming entranced by the sunlight.

"Are there Light Warblers here?" Sherlock asked, excited. Luna shook her head. "Bored." Sherlock announced and stared at John expectantly.

John shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "What?" He finally asked.

"Entertain me, John," Sherlock ordered. "I can't do any experiments. There are no cases to solve and I'm bored. Entertain me."

"I am not a toy, Sherlock." John told him repressively. "I was not put on this earth solely to entertain you."

"Oooo, I know," Luna yelled excitedly. "There's a game that Harry knows that we can play." She twirled her hair around a finger.

"Well," Sherlock asked her impatiently. "What is the game, Luna?" He leaned forward to stare at her.

"What game, Sherlock?" Luna asked him innocently. "Did you want to play a game? I know lots of games, you know. Harry taught me a few too. His games are fun."

McGonagall let out a snort. "I do not think any of us need to hear about any games that Mr. Potter might have taught you. You bedroom games are of no concern to us."

Luna's eyes widened. "You play games in your bedroom, Professor? Wow! I am impressed. Though I can't imagine it would be very comfortable to have the board on the bed would it? Though maybe it's not board games that you play. Hide and Seek, maybe? But there's not all that many places to hide in a bedroom."

McGonagall gaped at her. Flynn snickered. John coughed to cover his own laugh and Sherlock tugged on John's hand and leaned closer to him. "I'm not bored now, John."

"Why are you all still here?" Harry asked from the doorway. "It must be nearly dinner by now."

"You've only been gone a few minutes, Harrymine," Luna informed him sunnily. "Though it always feels like forever when you're not with me."

Harry's eyes widened. "Really? I feel like I've been gone for hours. Interesting. The Heart must manipulate time in some way."

"We could go back and find out," Sherlock offered in a bland voice that did nothing to hide his eagerness from John or Luna.

"It's a thought," Harry admitted after some consideration. "But not today. Come along, we've things to do." He waved John and Sherlock towards the door. "You as well, Carson."

"Me?" Flynn squeaked. He cleared his throat. "I mean why me? What do you need me for?"

Harry cocked his head at the other man. "Mostly because it'll drive Dumbledore spare." He admitted with a cocky grin.

"You cannot give him the stone, Harry, my boy," Dumbledore fumed. "He is a Muggle and will never be able to understand it or protect it from the dangers that surround it."

"What's a Muggle?" Flynn asked John in a whisper.

"Later," John whispered back.

Harry glared at the portrait and then took Luna's hand in his own and waved the men in front of him towards the door. "The Stone is no longer your concern." He said in a steely voice.

The five trooped out of the room to the cries from the portrait and the calls of Professor McGonagall.


	15. Grocery Shopping the Luna Way

**Disclaimer: Not mine. Still. Darn it.**

**A/N: So I've been gone. We all knew this. Well the upside to this is now I've gone random. The next few chapters of this story are going to be excessively random and silly just because I can and the whole point of this story is to make my Becca laugh. If you don't like it then don't read it.**

**Grocery Shopping the Luna Way**

"We need food." Sherlock announced as they left the castle far behind them and headed back to London.

Much to his surprise Luna's strange looking patronus sped off and Harry groaned. "Grocery shopping? Really?"

"Yes!" Luna danced in place. "I've already messaged my cousin. We'll have fun. We've enough people for three teams now."

"Teams?" Sherlock asked warily.

"You'll love it," Luna exclaimed. "You and John can be one team. Flynn Carson and Draco can be another and Harry and me are the last. Though we'll win. We always do."

Sherlock gave her a dumbfounded look. Harry facepalmed with a groan. Flynn and John both just stared at her in confusion. "Win what, Luna?" Sherlock finally asked.

Luna ignored him. "You must make a list, John Watson," she instructed earnestly. "Then Harrymine will copy it twice and then you will give one list to Harrymine and one to Flynn Carson." She turned to the befuddled tall blonde man. "I'm terribly sorry if you wanted to battle but Draco will insist on you driving. I hope you don't mind."

"Driving?" Flynn asked. "I haven't got a license for England…or Scotland I guess." He ran an agitated hand through his hair. "And who's Draco anyway?"

"My cousin, silly," Luna laughed her light laugh. "And we'll be in London. There's a Tesco's a few blocks from Sherlock and John's flat. We should stop by the flat first so that John can write out his grocery list for us." She nodded her head decisively, grabbed John's hand and disappeared with a pop.

Flynn swung around in a circle, his brown eyes wide and shocked. "Where'd they go? She can't just disappear both of them like that can she?" He swung around one last time and then faced Harry. "That is. So. Cool! Can you do it too?"

Harry gave him a strained grin. "You don't have to come, Mr. Carson. Shopping with Luna is an…experience."

"No, no. I'd love to come," the blond man hurried to assure him. "Just what should I do with this?" He held the stone out to Harry.

Harry eyed it in dislike and then sighed and took it. "I'll hold it until we're done," he offered grudgingly. Then he brightened and glanced at Sherlock. "Unless John will let us use the safe where he keeps his gun?"

Sherlock shrugged disinterestedly. "He probably will. Just don't try to take the gun out. He gets tetchy when people touch his gun. He's not supposed to have it after all. How did you even know he still had it?"

Green eyes grinned at him. "He's John. Easy deduction. There's no way a soldier of his distinction is going to give up his weapon easily. And you have bullet holes in your wall." Harry grabbed Flynn's elbow and held out his hand for Sherlock to take. "Shall we? There's no telling what Luna's doing to John without us to stop her."

Sherlock grimaced but took Harry's hand in his own. "She's most likely only breaking his brain again."

"Breaking his brain?" Flynn asked warily. "What do you mean?"

Harry only grinned, centered himself and apparated with his passengers. He felt Flynn's elbow tense and Sherlock grip his hand tightly and nearly snickered. First time apparaters were always amusing and Sherlock's natural curiosity would make him sick if he kept his eyes open every time.

"All right there, Carson?" Harry asked in amusement as the other man stumbled upon landing in Sherlock and John's parlour. "Apparating can be a bit disorientating if you're not used to it."

"I'm fine," Flynn squeaked out. He cleared his throat while staring around the room. "I'm fine," he said again.

Sherlock snorted. "Harry likes surprising people with his apparations. He finds it amusing when we become dizzy and nauseas."

"That's not very nice," Flynn said quietly.

"Yes, well, Harry's not a very nice man." Sherlock returned. "Well, he is," he reconsidered. "But he's also wickedly evil when the mood strikes him."

"I aim to please," Harry muttered as he spun around in a circle looking for the lost duo of John and Luna. "LUNA!" He finally called to her after not seeing her anywhere in evidence. "Where are you?"

There was the clatter of footsteps on the stairs leading to the top floor and then a red faced John appeared. "Sorry, Harry," John mumbled. "She apparated us to my bedroom."

Harry waved his apology off as Luna floated down the stairs behind the older blond. "Luna," he said quietly. "You know better."

Luna only laughed a light and airy laugh. "Meet you at the Tesco's," she smiled and popped out.

"You have the list don't you, John?" Harry asked on the end of a sigh as he shook his head at his wife's antics.

"Yes, of course," John nodded. "Why did I write out a list of what we needed?"

"Did you put hydrochloric acid on it?" Sherlock asked. "I'm out of hydrochloric acid and peroxide as well as sodium polystyrene sulfonate."

"Sodium polystyrene sulfonate?" Flynn asked in a worried tone. "Isn't that the stuff they use for enemas?"

"Why yes, Mr. Carson, it is in fact the compound used in some enemas. Problem?" Sherlock tried and failed to sound innocent and casual.

Flynn took a step backwards, away from Sherlock. "I don't…uh…don't want to know why you want that, do I?"

Harry gave him a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. "It's probably best not to ask." He turned to John. "May I lock the stone up in your gun safe?"

"Yes, of course," John replied immediately. He held his hand out for the stone. "I don't want Sherlock to know where I've hidden it though."

Harry nodded and followed John up the stairs while Sherlock scowled at their backs.

"So…um, this shopping thing," Flynn started. "What exactly does it entail, Mr. Holmes? I don't really quite understand why it would take six of us to do the grocery shopping."

Sherlock looked over at him with his eerie grayish blue eyes and blinked. "Neither do I, Mr. Carson, neither do I."

Harry, overhearing both question and comment and he and John came back down the stairs, snorted in amusement. "You'll see when we get there, promise. It'll be fun…I think."

Sherlock swung that raptor gaze to the emerald eyed, dark haired young man. "Fun?" He whipped out. "How is shopping fun?"

Harry chuckled and took Sherlock's elbow in his hand, he motioned for John to take the other one and then grabbed onto Flynn as well. "As I said, you'll see." And he apparated them out.

SH/JW HP/LL SH/JW HP/LL

Flynn swallowed hard as his feet found solid ground. Why had he agreed to this again? Why had he blithely followed along with these people when they'd left Scotland? It made no sense and yet he couldn't stop himself from trusting them.

"It's a good thing we know how you think, Scarhead, or you would have landed right on top of us," a sneering voice said from behind him. Flynn whirled around, startled and nearly fell backwards as his equilibrium was still off from the apparatition. A manicured hand shot out to catch him. "Careful, there," the blond man said quietly.

Flynn found himself drowning in slate gray eyes. "Th-thank you," he mumbled not understanding why he suddenly felt flustered.

The blond smiled and Flynn's breath caught in his throat. "Not a problem. Scarhead's apparatitions leave much to be desired, don't they?" His hand squeezed the bicep he was still holding.

"Draco," another cold voice interrupted. "Stop trying to aggravate Mr. Potter. And release the muggle before you cut off all circulation to his fingers."

The fingers slowly released him and Flynn blinked. "I'm f-fine," he stuttered out. His hand shot forward in an offer to shake. "Flynn Carson."

The blonde's smile grew and he gently took Flynn's fingers in his own. "Draco Malfoy, pleased to meet you, Mr. Carson."

For a moment the two held each other's eyes again and then the moment was interrupted by girlish giggling. Flynn and Draco tore their eyes away from each other and Draco glared at the two women giggling at them. Flynn simply turned his back on the blond and raised an eyebrow at the rest of the group.

"What?" He asked in an imitation of confidence. "He's pretty."

Harry, his dimples showing from his grin only shook his head while most of the others chuckled. "He is at that…even if Draco is a complete prat."

Draco sniffed haughtily. "Whatever, Scarhead. I take it Mr. Carson is my driver for the day?"

"Flynn," Flynn corrected. "Please. Uh…driver? I don't have a license for England."

"What do you mean driver?" Sherlock spat out. "I thought we were grocery shopping. Though I've no objections if we're going to be doing something else."

Luna strode to stand in the middle of the group and started conjuring metal helmets and what looked suspiciously like Nerf swords to Flynn. "Harrymine will explain the rules while I outfit the shoppers," she said seriously. Well, as serious as one could be while holding neon pink and blue swords and wearing a Roman helmet complete with a bright pink plume of feathers on the top.

"That's a galea, isn't it?" Flynn asked Luna.

She grinned. "Very good, FlynnCarson! It is. And Draco gets the Thor helmet and Aunt Cissy gets the Boadicea one and Sherlock gets to be a gladiator in a honeycomb like helmet."

"Here's the rules of the game," Harry said as Luna passed out the helmet and swords. "To win you must get through the check out with all items intact before anyone else. No hitting the drivers. Drivers must have contact with the trolley at all times. No magic on other people. No breaking the rest of the items on the shelves. Other than that…have fun."

"Which team is which?" Sherlock asked as he set the helmet over his head.

"You and John, Lucius and Narcissa, Draco and Flynn and me and Luna," Harry told him in a voice that told him that should have been obvious.

"Obvious," Sherlock sneered. "What do we do?"

Draco chose that moment to conjure four deep grocery trolleys and push them to their respective drivers. "Hop in and off we go." He grinned and jumped into the one he'd conjured for himself and donned his helmet before taking two of the pink swords from Luna and changing the color to a vibrant green.

Flynn shrugged and pushed the trolley from the alley and towards the Tesco's next to it. When in Rome and all that after all.


	16. Grocery Shopping the Luna Way Part II

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

**A/N: Yes, I know, random. If you don't like it then why are you still reading this story?**

**Grocery Shopping the Luna Way Part II**

The other patrons of Tesco's watched in something akin to bemusement as the group of eight lined up just inside the doors. Each of the groups was split into pairs with one riding in the shopping trolley while the other pushed.

The first pair were both men, one of whom the employees recognized as the man that argued with the chip and pin machine nearly every time he shopped. That meant that the one in the cart with the strange helmet that covered his face with hexagonal netting was his flatmate. The man in the trolley had two bright pink Styrofoam swords in his hands and a determined set to his shoulders.

The second pair consisted of two men as well. The one pushing the trolley had light brown hair, tanned features and was wearing khaki pants tucked into hiking boots. The one riding in the trolley had his features obscured by a helmet with wings coming from the temples and sweeping back into sharp points. The swords he carried were a vibrant green.

The third pair was a man and a woman. The man carried himself as an aristocrat and his long white blond hair was tied back with a leather strap. The woman riding in the trolley wore a helmet with two long spikes spread in a V on the top. Her swords were a silvery color that seemed to shine with an inner light.

The last set was also a man and woman. The man had messy black hair and bright green eyes. The woman wore a pink feathered Roman helmet and carried another set of bright pink swords. The color of the swords matched the feathers on her helmet.

"Everyone ready?" The black haired man asked his companions. The others nodded silently. "No cheating now. You all know the rules. On the count of three. One."

"Wait," the brown haired man shouted. The others turned to look at him and he flushed a bit. "On three or after three? Cuz it's not the same thing at all, you know."

The green eyed man rolled his eyes. "Two."

The man in the trolley the brown haired man was pushing glared at the black haired man and then looked over his shoulder at his companion. "He says three you run, got it, Carson?"

Carson gave a shaky nod and then stared straight ahead into the store.

"Three," the black haired man yelled and with yells of their own the group of eight fled into the bowels of the store. The other patrons and employees stared after them in astonishment before shrugging at the insanity of others and going about their business.

HP/LL SH/JW LM/NM FC/DM

**Lucius and Narcissa**

Knowing it was totally undignified but not caring as the only people who could see him were family and Muggles Lucius sprinted into the depths of the store. He was rather perturbed that Harry had made that silly rule of his but so be it. He stopped abruptly in the middle of one of the aisles and looked around for the others. No one in sight. "What's on the list, Cissy dear?"

His wife's hand shot into the air with a folded scrap of paper clutched in it. "You hold it so you know what and where we need to go, Lucius." She instructed while eyeing both end of the aisle for her fellow shoppers.

"Yes, of course," he took the paper from her hands and read the scrawled list. "Milk, we'll get that last otherwise it'll spoil. Jam…yes, strawberry. I prefer strawberry, myself. Hmm, that first, dear."

"Excellent," Narcissa's helmet bobbed up and down as she nodded and Lucius drew his head back to avoid the spikes. "And we'll grab extra for ammunition. Don't forget to put an unbreakable charm on the jar this time."

Lucius frowned but assented. "Though I don't believe that's exactly sporting as John, Sherlock and Flynn are Muggles."

Narcissa turned her head to regard him over her shoulder. Lucius quickly took a step back to avoid the spikes again and barely kept his hand on the trolley. "And that bothers us how again?"

Lucius smirked at his wife. "Quite right, dear. It's hardly our fault they decided to be born Muggles, is it?"

Narcissa gifted him with a smile and turned to face front again as Lucius set off to find the jam.

**Flynn and Draco**

"What is it we're supposed to be doing and why am I here?" Flynn asked his companion quietly as he sped down an aisle after Harry Potter, HARRY POTTER! had said three.

Draco turned his head to look at the Muggle over his shoulder. "Because Luna said, Carson." He rolled his eyes. "My cousin is a force of nature and no one disagrees with her unless they want a headache."

Flynn eyed the gray eyed young man for a moment before nodding with a sigh. "So what am I supposed to be doing?"

Draco turned back around with a smug smile. "Everything I tell you too, Carson, everything I tell you. Now find the aisle with bread."

Flynn gave a long sigh again and then headed in the direction of the bakery. "You could call me Flynn, you know?"

"I could yes," Draco admitted. "And I would if I didn't know that you are going to cause us to lose! Go faster!"

Flynn sighed again. He seemed to being doing that a lot around this young man but picked up his pace.

**Luna and Harry**

"Hurry, Harrymine!" Luna called out as she leaned forward. "Find the lamb chops! We must get the lamb chops." She swung her pink sword over her head nearly smacking him in the jaw.

Harry pulled his head out of the way of the sword with practiced ease and laughed. "Lamb chops, Luna? John needs lamb chops?"

Luna's shoulders shrugged. "It's not on his list but he does," she insisted. "You're making us all lamb chops in mint and veggies tonight."

Harry laughed again. "Am I really?"

"Yes," Luna nodded decisively. "You are my husband and you are supposed to fulfill all of my wants and needs and tonight, I need lamb chops."

Harry grinned down at his wife's head. "Of course Lunalove, anything you want." He sped down the aisle to the meat section.

**Sherlock and John**

John ran down the aisle pushing the trolley fast enough that he could feel the breeze whipping his hair back. He loved to run. It didn't matter that he and Sherlock weren't chasing a murderer or a burglar or any other type of criminal at the moment he just loved to run.

Sherlock allowed a rare smile to cross his face as they raced down the aisle. He knew how much John liked to run and it pleased him that this game of Luna's allowed John the freedom to indulge himself. "Biscuits, John!" Sherlock shouted for the pure joy of knowing the wind would carry his voice to John's ears and make him run faster.

"I know," John called back. "I wrote the list!"

Sherlock's smile grew as John screeched around a corner without slowing and raced towards the biscuit aisle.

**Lucius and Narcissa**

Lucius was beginning to feel a bit uneasy. So far he and Narcissa had retrieved the jam and the bread and the chocolate chip biscuits and the tea. The only things left on the list were hydrogen peroxide, bandages, and milk. Through all of this they hadn't seen any of the others. He just knew his son at the very least was planning an ambush at the check-out. There could be no other explanation.

"Lucius?" Narcissa asked quietly. "Where are they all?"

"I've no idea," he answered. "But I do believe that it's time we got sneaky, don't you, dear?"

"Oh, yes," the pleasure in her voice was unmistakable. "Bandages next, I think and we can grab the peroxide at the same time."

"Brillant!" He gazed around the aisle they were on before grabbing three packets of marshmallows and setting them in the child seat. "But first…" He waved his wand and the packets burst open as the marshmallows inside grew until the seat looked as though it was a cloud. "Ammunition for me."

Narcissa couldn't contain her giggle. She knew very well how accurate her husband's throwing skills were and she also knew that those giant marshmallows would stick like burrs.

**Flynn and Draco**

"Where is everyone?" Draco wondered out loud. They only had two things left on the list: the peroxide and the bandages. "We haven't seen them at all."

Flynn tossed the jar of strawberry jam to his companion and shrugged. "That's a good thing though isn't it?"

"No," Draco barked. "If we don't know where they are then we can't prepare for an attack."

Flynn snorted softly. "It's grocery shopping, Draco, not life or death. It's not like the fate of the world is in our hands. What happens if they attack us, not that they will? It's a race."

Draco turned around until he was kneeling in the trolley and glared at the older man. "You know nothing about this game, do you?" He huffed and turned back around. "They'll attack us. It's part of the game. We have to get the groceries through the check-out before anyone else and they can try to stop us. And they will."

"Ok," Flynn said in a disbelieving tone. "But why? Honestly, like I said it's not like we're fighting for the rights to rule the world."

Draco snorted this time. "Harry already did that. No this is because it's fun. Now hurry up! We've only got the pharmacy left."

**Harry and Luna **

Luna giggled like a mad woman as she tied the fifth tube of toothpaste to her trolley. "This is going to be good."

"Lunalove," Harry started hesitantly. "Are you sure this is a good idea? We're finished. All we have to do is check-out. Why are we ambushing the others? And how do you know they haven't already finished in the pharmacy?"

Luna giggled again. "Yes. Because it'll be fun. And lastly, I don't but I suspect that the others haven't made it this far yet."

Harry shook his head and tightened his grip on the trolley. Luna's plan was going to make a huge mess and he wanted to be ready to flee.

**John and Sherlock**

"Hurry, John!" Sherlock called. "We've only got the pharmacy left! We're going to win!"

Contrary to his flatmate's urging John slowed down at the end of the aisle and turned the cart around. "Shh! Sherlock, be quiet while I check out the terrain."

"Brilliant idea, John," Sherlock complimented quietly. "You truly are a genius sometimes."

John flushed at his best friend's words and was grateful that Sherlock's back was to him at the moment so he wouldn't see. He cautiously poked his head around the stack of boxed at the end of the aisle, gasped when he saw two other heads doing the same thing and then whirled the trolley around and sped towards the pharmacy as fast as his feet would carry him.

**Flynn and Draco**

"Faster Carson! Faster! They're going to get there first! Faster! Hurry up! If you make me lose I'll make you pay Carson!" Draco screeched.

"If I go any faster it'll tip you over, Malfoy!" Flynn shot back irritated.

**Lucius and Narcissa**

"Just a little farther, Lucius, just a bit more. You can make it! C'mon, Lucius! Faster!" Narcissa cried.

Lucius' face screwed up in determination. He chanced a glance to each side. Carson and Watson were shoulder to shoulder with him. He pushed himself a little bit harder.

**John and Sherlock**

"John! John! They're gaining, John! Faster!" Sherlock yelled. He raised his Nerf swords and started to hit at Narcissa and Draco.

"I see them," John shouted back as he ducked one of the swords and grabbed a bottle of oil from the child seat of his trolley.

**Everyone**

What happened then could only have happened with the help of divine intervention. I don't mean the Christian God or Buddha or Allah or Zeus or Ra or Odin, by the way. I mean Loki.

Somewhere Loki must have been watching the proceedings of the eight mortals and decided that it was past time for him to become involved. I'm quite sure he laughed himself sick as his mischief magic helped the chaos that erupted.

As Flynn, Lucius and John high tailed it towards the pharmacy and Draco, Narcissa and Sherlock tried to beat each other to death with Styrofoam swords Harry positioned his and Luna's trolley in their path.

Draco ducked one of Narcissa's swipes and grabbed the soda cans he'd been shaking for the past few minutes. Carefully aiming he popped the top towards his mother.

Narcissa screeched in amusement and irritation when the sticky sweet drink blasted her in the chest. Lucius lobbed giant marshmallows at his opponents that stuck to the wheels of their trolleys and on their feet making it difficult to maneuver.

John, not to be outdone by Lucius' magic marshmallows or Draco's soda fountains, tossed his own secret weapon to the floor in front of their trolleys. The bottle of oil splattered on the ground just as the wheels of the trolleys entered its range.

Lucius and Flynn unable to stop their momentum skidded into the display of loo rolls at the end of the aisle right next to each other.

Chuckling at the sight of the four people buried in loo rolls John raced on. "Yes! Excellent throw John!" Sherlock cheered.

"Only the bandages and peroxide now," John panted. "But where's Har—argh!" John and Sherlock both cried out as they got faces full of toothpaste.

"Ha!" Luna laughed. "So much for being observant!" Her voice trailed off as Harry raced towards the check-out stands.

John leaned against the trolley laughing helplessly and wiping the toothpaste out of his eyes. "Oh for God's sake," Sherlock grumbled and pulled out his handkerchief. "I should have known."

"Don't feel bad," Draco said from behind them. "Potter always wins."

John got himself under control and stared around at the devastation. "We should probably be going," he mused. "Before security gets called."

Lucius looked around at the shocked faces of the Muggles. "That may be our wisest course of action," he agreed and helped a sopping Narcissa to her feet. "Let us be on our way."

"I think this now qualifies as the most ridiculous thing we've ever done," John told Sherlock as the group of six quickly made their way towards the exit.

"You're no doubt correct, John," Sherlock nodded. "How do you propose we avoid the security cameras?"

"Potter took care of that before we ever entered the shop," Lucius replied. "He is good with Muggle electronics."

"Anyone else hungry?" Luna asked them as they withdrew from the shop. "I'm starving and Harrymine's making lamb chops for dinner."

A chorus of "Starving" answered her and they all headed for John and Sherlock's flat and dinner.


	17. Time Skip

**Disclaimer: Harry, Luna and the others from that world do not belong to me. They belong to JK Rowling. Flynn Carson and the others from that world do not belong to me. They belong to…er, I'm not sure actually but it isn't me. Sherlock, John and the others from that world do not belong to me. They belong to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and the BBC. Hey! Would you look at that? I wrote an actual disclaimer. Don't worry it'll probably be the only time I ever write one.**

**A/N: This is not an actual chapter, people. Sorry. It's a bit of an explanation. You can skip it if you wish but you might be a bit confused if you do. Not that it really matters because I'm always confused and this story is just a bit of silliness. Anyway…on with the explanation.**

**Time Skip**

Because I'm lazy I've done a bit of a time skip here. Summary of the time skip it this: Flynn and the Malfoys stayed for dinner with our intrepid heroes and then went their separate ways. Flynn went back home and handed over the Stone to Jugson. Jugson was intrigued by the thought of the Wizarding World and the search for the Crumple Horned Snorkack. He sent Flynn back to England to find out everything he could. Flynn is indefinitely posted to London and Jugson will contact him whenever he needs to go save the world. Flynn has moved into 221C Baker St. and he, Sherlock and John spend a lot of time at Grimmauld Place with Harry, Luna, Teddy and Andi. Draco is interested in this strange Muggle and hangs out in Grimmauld Place to get to know him better. I think that's it. Just ask if you have any questions. New chapter for this story should be out later this weekend or early next week. I kinda have to write it first.


	18. Molly and the Door

**Disclaimer: Right so…did any of you really expect anything to change in the status of ownership? Yeah me either. Still hope springs and all that.**

**A/N: If you're confused by this chapter go back and read Time Skip. Or just ask me in a review. Yeah, I like the second option. Promise I'll answer. Really. I was going to post this tomorrow before I went to church but it made me laugh so hard while I was writing it that I decided to cheer everyone else up as well. Let me know what you think of this bit of random silliness.**

**Molly and the Door**

**Summary: Molly Weasley visits Number 12 Grimmauld Place in order to invite Harry and Luna to dinner. She has a few problems with the door.**

The matronly red-haired woman eyed the seemingly decrepit house in front of her with disfavor. Why couldn't that boy make the outside of his house look at the very least reputable? It really made no sense to her. She'd seen the inside and a more welcoming place was yet to be found. He'd done a very good job with the remodeling but the outside just ruined it all.

It was probably _that girl's_ influence on him. She nodded to herself. Yes, _that girl_ made Harry leave the outside of his home looking so awful. Probably wanted to discourage Nargles or something. _That girl_ was having a horrible influence on her poor Harry.

She straightened her shoulders and marched determinedly up to the wooden door. She stopped with her hand raised as she glared at the door. That was new. It had been painted a pale purple color...lilac; yes that was the name of that color. When and why had Harry allowed _that girl_ to paint his front door that awful color? What lunacy was this?

Scowling for a moment she took a deep breath and smoothed her face out into a smiling façade. She raised her fist again and banged on the door with quite a bit of force.

The door shivered and bowed away from her hand. "Ow! What'd you do that for? I've never done anything to you! Why'd you have to hit me? Don't you know it's not polite to hit things?"

Both her hand and her jaw dropped and her eyes widened as she stared at the door in shock. She'd lived in the Wizarding World her whole life but she'd never had a door scold her for knocking before.

"Oh! Owowowow!" The door moaned. "Just look! I'm bruised now!" The paint around where she had knocked was slowly darkening. "Ow!" The door sobbed and shook in its frame. "That really hurt, woman. Why? Why did you hit me?"

"I just…just wanted in," she stuttered and watched in astonishment as the paint darkened and then started to turn green and yellow and dark purple.

"That's what the doorbell is for, you idiot!" The door screamed in a high-pitched voice that echoed down the street.

She took a step back and barely caught herself on the railing of the stairs before she fell down the steps.

"Assault!" A new voice screamed. "Unhand me! Assault! Someone call the coppers. She's assaulting me and she's committed battery against Door! Help!"

The woman let go of the railing and covered her ears to escape the screams. The door was still sobbing and the railing was screaming for the police at the top of its nonexistent lungs.

This had to be _that girl's_ fault as well! She fumed. Who had ever heard of charming doors and railings to scream like that? All she wanted to do was see Harry! Bracing herself for the screams and sobs she removed her hands from her ears and searched for the doorbell. Spying it she stepped towards it with a grim expression and finger pointed straight out.

The doorbell shivered and skittered away from her outstretched finger. "No! No! She's going to do me a violence! Help! Please, please don't hurt me," it begged. "Please, I have a low tolerance to pain. Leave me alone."

"That is quite enough," Molly Weasley bit out in a tone that never failed to bring her children in line with her wishes. "Come over here so that I may ring for someone to open the door."

There was silence in the street for a second and then the cacophony began again. Louder this time. The door wailed about its injury in screeching sobs. The railing went back to screaming for the police to come and the doorbell moaned the word "no" in an unceasing litany.

Molly covered her ears again and added her own primal scream of rage to the racket outside number 12 Grimmauld Place. This was absolutely intolerable. What had that boy been thinking to charm his entryway like this? "Harry Potter!" She screamed. "Harry James Potter! Get out here this instant!"

The sudden ringing silence had Molly removing her hands cautiously again. "Master won't come," the door told her in an injured tone. "He's busy."

"What do you mean he won't come?" Molly asked hotly. "He'd better come answer this door or we will be having words! Won't even answer the door to the nearest thing he has to a mother! Why I never!"

"Those seven children of yours make you a liar on the never part," the railing sniffed at her. "Master Harry is busy in a soundproofed room and won't come to the door because he can't hear you."

"Why on Earth…?" Molly drew in another deep breath. "I am now calm and I promise not to hurt any of you if you will just let me ring the doorbell to call someone to let me in."

The doorbell inched slowly back along the wall towards her. "You promise?" It asked quietly. "No hurting?"

"Yes of course, I promise," Molly smiled indulgently even though she felt like wringing someone's neck. Preferably _that girl's_. Really this was all _her _fault.

"I don't believe you!" The doorbell screamed and skittered farther away down the wall. "You're going to hurt me! I won't let you!"

The doorbell's terrified screams set off the railing and the door again and they both started screaming as well. Molly glared at all of them and covered her ears one more time. Harry was going to hear about this and she wasn't leaving until she saw him.

HP/LL SH/JW DM/FC

Winky peered at Mrs. Weasley through the door that she had charmed to be invisible to her only and smirked. That should teach the woman to think bad things about her Mistress Luna. Mistress Luna was perfect and perfect for Master Harry too. The weasel woman should stop being so nasty.

After a few more minutes of watching the weasel woman scramble around the stoop Winky nodded to herself and opened the door. "What is all this rackets?" She shouted. "Why is you all making such noises? Quiet down now."

"Finally!" Molly exploded. "Let me in and go tell Harry I'm here." She tried to push past Winky but the little elf stood her ground.

"Wait here," Winky commanded. "Winky get Master Harry." She started to shut the door again but it bucked in her hand.

"No," the door wailed. "Don't leave her here with us. Just look at what she did!" The so called bruise was suddenly highlighted and Winky frowned at Molly fiercely.

"Shh," the little elf soothed the door and ran a hand over the 'bruising'. "All better now," the paint faded back to the lilac color and the door sighed in relief. "Winky take her away. It okay, Door. Winky take scary lady to Master Harry."

"Thank you, Winky," the door sighed again and swung itself shut after Molly had passed over the threshold.

"Follow Winky," Winky commanded Molly in a hard voice. "And no hitting anything. Hitting is bad, Mistress Luna says so."

Molly huffed but followed the little elf down the hall. Harry would be getting a piece of her mind about this.


	19. The Sword Fight

**Disclaimer: After all this time you'd think you people already know the characters are not mine. That's a good thing for you though. If Lestrade belonged to me I'd never get anything done. **

**A/N: I totally warned you all about the absolute ridiculousness of this story and especially these past few and next few chapters. Actually I'm not sure when the random silliness will quit. Hope you've had a laugh and I hope you keep laughing.**

**The Sword Fight**

**Chapter Summary: Molly has gained entrance to 12 Grimmauld Place and while she is fuming at her treatment from the charmed door, railing and doorbell she is also determined to deliver her invitation to Harry. But a strange sound stops her before she can even see the boy.**

Molly Weasley followed the little elf in the bright pink sundress down the hallway. She could distantly hear a strange metal on metal sound. She couldn't quite identify it but she knew she should know what that sound was.

Finally Molly couldn't take the lack of knowledge any longer. "Winky," she said as politely as she could to the little elf. "What is that sound?"

Winky turned her head and regarded the matronly woman with serious blue eyes. "Is Thursday," she stated matter-of-factly then turned her head back to watch where she was going.

Molly waited for a few more steps for more information and then growled as the elf remained silent. "And what does the day have to do with anything?"

Winky smirked to herself. Baiting the weasel woman was so much fun. "Is day for Master Teddy's sword lesson." She kept her voice void of the amusement she was feeling. Kreature and Mr. Sherlock were so right. This was fun.

Molly stopped abruptly. "Sword lessons? With real swords?" She shrieked. "I will be having a word with Andromeda about this!" She sped past Winky and followed the sounds of swords clanging.

Winky watched the woman run down the hall. "Mrs. Gran Andi is watching," she called out and then popped herself to the training room.

"Take that, you landlubber!" Harry's voice followed the ring of steel through the room. "Ye'll not get me treasure!"

"Arg, ye scurvy dawg!" Molly heard a baritone voice call back. "Ye stole me own treasure an' I'll be havin' it back now!" The clang of metal on metal rang out through the hallway again.

"Master Harry," the elf's voice piped up. "Yous has a visitor, Master Harry."

Apparently none of them were paying attention to the elf as the ring of swords continued unabated. "Cap'n!" Another voice called out. "We're surrounded sir!"

Molly had found the correct door and she flung it open with force. "Harry James Potter!" She screamed into the room.

The four men; Harry, Draco Malfoy and two she didn't know, stopped moving abruptly. From the corner of her eye she saw young Teddy race forward from the side of the room and thrust a short blade into Harry's side. Harry collapsed even as she screamed in horror.

Teddy ignored her and only sniffed at the fallen form of his godfather. "That'll learn you to steal my granny," he said coldly and then turned around and stabbed the dirty blond man in the leg. "Fall down, Mr. Flynn," he said in a stage whisper.

The man tore his attention from her and Harry groaned piteously on the floor. The man fell to his knees and Teddy moved to stand behind him, he reached up to put his sword to the man's neck and scowled. "You're still too tall! Bend down, you giant!"

Harry moans and groans changed to snickers for a moment as the man obligingly sat flat on the floor. "Oh! I'm dying!" Harry moaned pathetically. "Ye've killed me, Cap'n Lupin! I'm dying."

Teddy growled down at him. "Be quiet and die already!" He put his sword against the blond man's throat. "Give me one good reason not to slice yer throat, ye vile granny stealing thief."

"Please Cap'n Lupin," the man begged. "I have a wife at home. She's sick, sir, very sick. And…And I have nineteen children depending on me. Please let me live, Cap'n!"

"Oh, all right. Promise not to do it again though," Teddy said and pulled his sword away from the man's neck.

"Oh no, Cap'n, I mean yes Cap'n, I mean I promise Cap'n," the man sobbed. "I'll tell the whole world of the benevolence and mercy of Dread Pirate Lupin."

"Yes, yes," Teddy patted the man's shoulder. "Don't cry now. I can't abide a man that cries. Surgeon!" He suddenly yelled.

A small bland looking man hurried forward out of the shadows. "Yes Cap'n?"

"Lock them two up in the brig," Teddy turned a fierce scowl on Draco and the dark haired man that had been fighting Harry and the other man. "They tried to claim my granny. They get nothing but peas and lima beans for their supper for a week!" He scowled even harder as the two men whined and squawked. "And if they don't stop that nonsense they get no pudding!"

"Yessir," the bland man said and dragged the two off into the shadows. He stopped for a moment and looked back over his shoulder to ask the boy something else. "Captain!" He shouted in surprise instead.

Harry loomed up behind the little boy and scooped him up before tossing him up in the air and catching him while the child screamed with laughter. "I am the Immortal Captain Potter! No little sword cut is going to do me in!" He bellowed and tossed Teddy into the air again. "This is WAR!" When he caught him this time he started to tickle him mercilessly.

The other occupants of the room, including the two elves, looked at each other, shrugged simultaneously and leapt on the laughing duo. Soon Molly could make out nothing in the pile of flailing limbs except a few glimpses of different hair colors and red faces.

"Stop that foolishness this instant!" Molly screamed as loud as she could and stomped her foot before drawing her wand and dousing the pile of bodies with a jet of ice cold water.

"Oh, I'd forgotten about her," one voice said.

"So did I," everyone else chorused.

They untangled themselves and Harry sent drying charms at everyone before turning to Molly with a bland expression. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Weasley. Is there something I can do for you?"

Molly opened her mouth and then snapped it closed. She tried again and again. "I…I can't believe how irresponsible you lot are!" She finally spat. "Teddy is far too young to be playing with sharp objects! What were you thinking, Harry James Potter? And you," she spun her gaze to Andromeda. "How could you allow your grandson to play such a violent game?" She turned back to Harry. "I raised you better than this, Harry."

Harry stiffened and his expression became closed. "You didn't raise him at all," the dark haired man scoffed.

Luna wrapped her arms around Harry from behind and Andromeda put a hand on his arm. "Why are you objecting to us playing a game with my grandson, Molly?" Andromeda asked, ignoring Sherlock.

Molly spluttered for a moment and glared at the cold faces before her. "None of you are acting like proper witches and wizards," she accused. "You are setting a very poor example for young Teddy."

The blond man looked at the dark haired man for a moment. "I'm not a wizard. Are you a wizard? Cuz I'm not. Sounds like it could be fun though."

The dark haired man shook his head with a smirk. "No Carson I'm not a wizard." He turned to the short man on his other side. "Are you a wizard, John?"

The short man frowned in thought and then shook his head. "Nope, no wizard here. I know!" He leaned around his taller companion. "Hey, Luna. Are you a wizard?"

Luna's eyes unfocused in thought. "I wasn't the last time I checked, John. But that could have changed."

"Can none of you be serious for five seconds?" Molly growled.

Harry squeezed Luna's hand and removed them from his waist. "Lunalove why don't you and Winky go get some tea together? Gran Andi, if you'd take Teddy for a bath I'd be really grateful. Kreature will you go start the bath and then help Luna and Winky? We'll be in the ground floor parlour when you're finished." He turned to the other men in the group. "That is if you lot want to stay for tea?"

"Winky has made mint biscuits," Winky offered. "And Kreature got some peachy tea from America."

"Well, that's decided then," that Malfoy boy spoke up. "We're staying for tea, Pothead."

The others nodded and Harry grinned. "Then if you'll all follow me we'll go have tea in the parlour."

Molly watched in bemusement as everyone left the training room. She wondered when she had lost control of the situation and then realized that she was totally alone in the room and she had no idea where the ground floor parlour was. She rushed out of the room and after the group of friends.


	20. The Invitation

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter do you really think I'd be writing fanfics? Didn't think so. I'd be hiding because there are so many plot holes and I've killed off the most interesting characters aside from Luna. If I owned Sherlock Holmes would I be writing fanfics? Nope, again. I'd be busy with Lestrade and yeah, you don't need the details. If I owned The Librarian would I be writing fanfics? Yeah, probably but only because Flynn would drive me nuts. Summation: They aren't mine.**

**A/N: So here we are again. The epic silly fic for my bestest best friend Becca. So far it's still making her and everyone else laugh. I'm still enjoying it so it will continue until we're not. Though if you're not you can just stop reading. Do let me know though. By the way, the Topsy Turvy room is from an actual story I read once. I don't remember the name of the book it was in and it wasn't a room. It was a story about someone who fell through a mirror and on the other side everyone walked on their hands. If you've read it and know the name of the book with that story in it I'd appreciate a heads up. On with the story.**

**The Invitation**

**Chapter Summary: After talking doors and sword fights Mrs. Weasley finally gets to invite Harry and the gang for dinner. **

"Harry!" Molly Weasley yelled out as she reached the parts of 12 Grimmauld Place that she knew she should recognize. "Where are you, young man?" She stared up the staircase to the next floor and wondered if it was even safe to climb those stairs. Who knew what she'd find on the next floor.

"In here, Mrs. Weasley," Harry's voice called from behind her. Hadn't she passed those rooms already?

Molly whirled around and stalked towards the room where the voice had come from. This door too had been painted since the last time she'd been to Harry's house. It was now a rusty sunset color. She strode into the room and took in the new decorations.

The floor was a light blue color with puffy white rugs seemingly thrown randomly around the room. The walls started with the same light blue color near the floor and it gradually got darker the closer it got to the ceiling until it bled into a grassy green color that matched the ceiling. The furniture was all wooden and seemed be green and strangely bushy on the bottom with dark wood closer to the top of the chairs and tables. Molly notice that all the books in the bookcases were upside down. The whole room gave one the feeling of walking on the sky with the ground above you.

"What in the…?" Molly exclaimed. She shook off the disorientation and glared at Harry and Luna. "What is the meaning of this?" She asked harshly.

Harry calmly settled back against the leafy (Wait leafy? Were those chairs actually trees? Molly gawked) back of his armchair. "Meaning of what, Mrs. Weasley?"

"Why is this room upside down and a picture of outside?" Molly bit out and put a hand on the wall to steady herself from the feeling of vertigo.

"The room isn't upside down," the dark haired man scoffed at her. "Only your perception of it."

"What?" Molly barked and squeezed her eyes shut. "Who are you?"

"Fascinating," another voice said. "I never expected this room's composition to so disorient someone to this extent. I wonder if it affects all magical…no it wouldn't be. None of you are bothered."

"I suspect it's the fact that everyone in this house is completely comfortable in the Non-Magical world," the dark haired man said.

"Is there a spell to assist her with her perception?"

"No," Molly heard Luna behind her. "Altering a witch or wizard's perception of reality is a very dangerous undertaking and takes a great deal of time to accomplish. We shall simply have to move to another room."

"We can use the one across the hall, Lunalove," Harry's voice was closer and there was a hand holding Molly's elbow and gently leading her from the room.

"But Master Harry," Winky's voice protested. "We's hasn't decorated that one yet! Is still all ugly and bare."

"I'm sure it will be all right," Harry said and helped Molly to settle into a chair. "You can open your eyes now Mrs. Weasley. This room is normal. Boring but normal."

Molly carefully blinked her eyes open and found herself in a bland room with only a few sturdy chairs and a few small, low tables. "Why in the name of Merlin would you have a room like that, Harry? Luna, you should really stop taking advantage of Harry's good nature and need to make you happy like that." She scowled at them both.

Luna gave her a dreamy smile and handed her a cup of tea. Harry scowled back. "The Topsy Turvy room was my idea. It's from a book I read a very long time ago," he told her.

"Harry," Molly said with a sigh. "You cannot allow the fantasies of your childhood to rule your adulthood. Besides the book you read was Muggle was it not?"

"Does it matter whether it was non-magical or not," the taller blond man that was sitting beside Draco Malfoy asked.

"Who are you?" Molly spat out. "Of course it matters!"

Harry settled into one of the chairs with Luna ensconced on his lap which earned them a disapproving look from Molly. "Guess introductions are in order then," he smiled. "That's Flynn Carson. He's just moved here from America. He lives downstairs from Sherlock and John and has become one of our good friends." He gestured to the taller blond who waved a hand to her. "That's Sherlock Holmes the world's only consulting detective and a very good friend of Luna's and mine." He pointed out the dark haired man who merely rolled his eyes. "And lastly that's Dr. John Watson. He's Remus' older brother who was adopted by non-magicals. He's Sherlock's roommate and blogger and another very good friend of ours." The short blond man lifted his tea cup to her in greeting. "You have met Draco on a few occasions, haven't you?"

Molly frowned at them all and took a sip of her tea. The taste washed through her mouth and she quickly gagged and spit it back into the cup. She knew that it was terrible manners but she simply couldn't stomach something so very disgusting. "What is this?" She quickly grabbed a biscuit to try and get rid of the taste of the tea. One bite of it had her gagging even more but she swallowed it anyway.

"Peach tea from Georgia in the United States and Winky's mint cookies," Harry replied. "I gather you don't like them?"

"No," she choked out. "It's not that, dear, I simply am not used to the taste." Winky handed her a glass of water. "Thank you," she said gratefully. The little elf simply frowned and popped away.

"I like the peach tea," Sherlock announced. "And the mint biscuits that Winky spent three hours making and I like the Topsy Turvy room. It's very relaxing and it helps me think."

John took his hand and quietly hushed him while he poured a few drops of something from a potions vial into his own tea.

"Mrs. Weasley," Harry called her attention back to him. "Was there a reason behind today's visit or did you only come to criticize my decorating, choice of refreshment and child-raising?"

"I'm not trying to criticize you, Harry dear." Molly admonished. "I'm the closest thing you have ever had to a mother and I'm trying to teach you the things a mother should. Now, I've come to invite you and…" she swallowed but plunged on. "Your friends to dinner tomorrow night."

A silent conversation flew around the room leaving Molly baffled and a bit irritated. "We thank you for the invitation, Mrs. Weasley," Draco told her politely. "But Flynn and I have a prior engagement. Perhaps another time?"

Molly gave him a gracious smile and nodded. "Of course, Mr. Malfoy. You will be made welcome the next time." Inwardly she grinned in glee. That was one less bad influence on Harry to ruin her family dinner.

"John and I will be there," Sherlock confirmed. "Unless we get a case and then we'll be off to solve it."

Molly smiled tightly at him and nodded her acceptance. She turned to look over at Harry and Luna. "We should be able to make it," Harry nodded to her.

"Unless Sherlock and John get a case," Luna piped up. "Then we'll be off helping them," she pouted at Sherlock's sudden look of objection. "You promised we could help on the next case."

Molly fumed silently but nodded anyway. "And what of Andromeda and little Teddy? Will they-?"

Kreature popped into the room right in front of Molly's chair and she couldn't stop the slightly startled yelp she emitted. "Mrs. Gran Andi and Little Master Teddy will be present at the dinner at the Wheezies."

"Well then, I'll be on my way," Molly said with another tight smile around the room. She set her tea cup down and hoisted herself to her feet. "I shall see you tomorrow, Harry dear."

"Show Mrs. Weasley the way to the door, please, Kreature," Harry asked.

"Harry dear, I believe I know where the door in this house is," Molly protested.

"Ever since we got rid of all the dark stuff in here the house seems to have grown a personality," Harry told her. "A mischievous one at that. Some days the stairs go in circles and the doors open to the roof or the garden or the loo. The front door likes to hide on Thursdays so you'll need Kreature to lead the way or you'll be hopelessly lost."

Molly shook her head in consternation and then followed the elf down the hall. She paid very little attention to where she was going as she tried to make sense of this insane visit. The door's parting comment of "Next time floo ahead like a normal witch!" only reminded her she hadn't talked to the boy about the door.

She turned around and stared up at the house. There was something very wrong with that group. They were all corrupting her little boy and she knew she had to find a way to stop them. She didn't know how to deal with Muggles though. She would need to speak to her daughter-in-law to be. Hermione would know how to fix this.

Filled with renewed determination she turned, strode into the alley and apparated home to marshal her forces so they could return Harry to the fold.


End file.
